Thriving In A Spiritually Mismatched Marriage

Images from Tammy Labuda Photgraphy

Deanna, answered: An unequally yoked marriage is a difficult path to walk. But I want to encourage you by saying that one can have a happy, fulfilling marriage with an unbelieving husband. You do not just have to survive your spiritually mismatched marriage, but you can actually thrive in the midst of it.


On November 14th, I (Deanna) celebrated 28 years of marriage with my beloved unbeliever. God has had to do a mighty work in my heart and I have come to know my Lord and Savior intimately as God has taught me how to be a godly wife to a man who had no interest in spiritual things. My life verse has been, "I can do all things thru Christ who strengthens me." (Phil 4:13)

As I reflect back over the years I would like to share with you some of the Pitfalls to having a marriage that thrives:

First, I had a "Holier Than Thou Attitude". I esteemed myself above him because I was a Christian and he was not!! Oh my!!! God's word says: Phil 2:3-4 "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interest of others."

Second, I had a judgmental attitude. I was often mentally critical of his actions and words. I felt since my husband did not seek God, how could he speak into my life! I used sarcasm as a weapon. I played the martyr and treated my marriage as a cross I must bear for being unequally yoked. I did not treat my husband with respect. Ephesians does not give us an option on respecting our husbands. It does not say "if he deserves it" or "if you feel like it"," if he is a Christian or not"- just to respect our husbands- period! (Ephesians 5:33 "However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.")


My focus was on my circumstances.

I focused on the negative attributes of my husband.


I focused on my pain and heartache I felt when I was sitting in the church pew alone...again. Looking around with envy at all the couples wishing my husband was next to me.


I focused on the burden of being the spiritual leader in my home. I focused on not having the spiritual under girding from him because sometimes moral support was not enough.


I focused on my children not having a godly dad. I focused on the weight of teaching and nurturing the spiritual upbringing of our children.


I focused on the pain and despair I felt when my teenage son decided not to go to church and his excuse was "Dad doesn't, so neither am I"


I focused on the fear that would well up inside of me when I faced the reality that my husband may never accept Jesus Christ as his Savior. This fear fueled my tactics of manipulation and scheming in an attempt to get my husband to see his need of a Savior! Before I knew it, I felt responsible for his salvation!!!


I focused on my loneliness and spiritual isolation.


I focused on the deep, deep heartache of not being able to share anything spiritual with my husband. Yes, I could tell him how God answered prayer or how God's word touched my heart, but he does not understand. (1 Corinthians 2:14)


I focused on the longing I had for the day we could worship and rejoice together over God's blessings to us.


All these desires and strong emotions are valid and real, but my focus was wrong. My focus had to change from my circumstances to Jesus. I was tired of being miserable. I wanted that abundant life that I read about in the Bible. I began to cry out to God and asked Him to change my heart. I asked God to help me die to self and began to consciously choose to yield and be submissive to God. This allowed me take on a submissive attitude with my husband also.


I prayed for God to renew my love and passion for my husband. I prayed for God to show me how to respect my husband when I did not feel like it or feel he deserved it. Through the power of the Holy Spirit I was able to love and serve my husband with joy, placing his needs above my own. When I am feeling frustrated, lonely or angry I cry out to my Rock and Redeemer. In Christ I can be gentle and kind, desiring to be a blessing to my man. When I fail, I ask for forgiveness and try again. 1 John 1:9, Ps 116:1-2


So, how do you deal with a husband who doesn't believe but you do? 1Peter 3: 1-4 says, "Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words, by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight."

Abiding in Christ enables a believing wife to live with and thrive in a happy marriage with her unbelieving husband. It is about a daily, sometimes minute by minute laying down of selfish ways, forgiveness, not neglecting God's word or quiet time with your Savior and being obedient to God's word- and pray, pray, pray. (John 15)


Here are some practical ways to apply God's word:

1. I am paraphrasing 1 Peter 3:1, Keep your lips zipped. Allow your actions to speak of God's love. Wait for the prompting of the Holy Spirit to use your words.


2. Read or study your bible, visit with Christian friends or teach your children godly principles when he is not around.


3. "Now I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God." 1 Cor 11:3 It is very important for your husband to know he comes BEFORE church activities and friends.


4. Take your frustration, anger, loneliness or hurt feelings to God first. Pour your heart out to Him and allow Christ to quiet your heart and heal your wounds. Then, if necessary, address the issue with your husband. (Ps 62:8)

For more encouragement, I recommend the book "Beloved Unbeliever" by Jo Berry


Do not give up hope. After 27 years of prayer my husband accepted Christ as his Savior!!!!!

~Deanna
Today's post is a part of the "Put Your House In Order" Series. Please visit the ladies below for more on Parenting, Decorating, Cooking and Finances!Walk with the King!

Thank you to Tammy from Tammy Labuda Photography for her photos today. Tammy is a friend from my college days at the Moody Bible Institute. She is a Wedding and Lifestyle Portait Photographer based out of Dallas, Texas and she is willing to travel to you if you need a photographer. To see more of her portraits go to Tammy Labuda Photography or "Like" her Facebook page.

So I asked a friend and woman I admire - "How do you thrive in a spiritually mismatched marriage?

Siblings Showing Love - A Valentine Activity from Smockity Frocks
Decorating Hearts With Love from My Blessed Life
Showing Love Through Cupcakes from Good Cheap Eats
Marriage and Money in the Christian Home from Kingdom First Mom

This post is linked to Raising Homemakers, We Are That Family, A Holy Experience and the Time-Warp Wife.

My Battles With Loneliness

After posting the picture of my Good Morning Girls Group, I received a few comments and emails from sisters in Christ who are lonely and long for Christian friendships. My heart broke, as I can recall the seasons in life where I was caught in the dark cloud of loneliness.

I remember weekends in college in Chicago, when most of the girls either went home or out on dates with their boyfriends - I was homesick. I would sit in my dorm room alone eating popcorn and listening to George Winston’s Pachabel’s Canon play on repeat for hours(I still do this! lol!). I never did go out on dates in college - not once – I was dating Keith long distance. I poured over God's word on those long weekends and filled in the gaping dark hole with God's presence.

Finally, I married Keith after 4 long years apart and we moved to Columbus, Ohio for him to finish college at Ohio State University. I was in a new town – with a new name - with a new job – and a new church. I recall walking into my first Bible study in the new church and no one greeting me. I sat alone and was very uncomfortable. I had made some non-Christian friends at work. But I longed for a safe refuge of Christian friends where I could let my guard down and be myself. It took about 18 months before I developed my first "real" Christian friendship...it was a long lonely 18 months.


Then I moved home after 7 years away. I had finally made Christian friends back in Columbus – but here I was “alone” again! I pulled out a prayer journal from my first week home and I had written in there… “Help me Lord to not get into a rut of self pity as it is hard in a new town with no friends.” Looking back it’s humorous. I wasn’t in a new town? I was in my hometown. These weren’t new friends? They were old friends. But I was scared - I had changed in 7 years - so had they - would they accept me?

David, “a man after God’s own heart”, was lonely. In Psalm 25:16 he said to the Lord, “Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted.” David turned to God.

If we choose to turn away from God in response to our loneliness we will go down a very cold road. Job and Elijah felt so alone they wanted to die. Jeremiah wished he had never even been born. Satan can use this time to enter sinful thoughts into our minds such as self pity, self-centeredness, bitterness, anger, and jealousy. We may attempt to put a band aid on the pain by turning to the television, alcohol, shopping, binge eating, or excessive computer time.

But, the only comfort I ever found was in releasing my needs to God in prayer and then trusting God. If you are struggling with loneliness today I encourage you to read Psalm 84:11,12. Place your trust in God, then go one step further and delight yourself in God as the rest of Psalm 84 says.

Stop being jealous, stop shopping, stop suppressing the pain with food. I testify as one lonely sister to another (*tears are stinging as I write this next line because God has taught me this truth through tears over and over and over and I pray with all my heart you will grasp this) - it has been in my trusting and delighting - that God has filled the God shaped hole inside of me, to the brim.


In time, God will bring you the fellowship you long for but never let your friends replace your Walk with the King,

Do Not Be Courtney

(This post is basically a disclaimer...the next time someone thinks that I am trying to make cookie cutter marriages, or parenting or homemaking I will send them this link - so just humor me for a moment while I publically get this out! lol!)

Some time ago, a reader bumped into me while I was out and about. She began to share her feedback on my blog. It was transparent and honest. It was friendly while at the same time inquisitive and seeking some explanation for why I write some of the things that I write. While there were a plethora of topics we covered, at the end, the part that disturbed me was that though I have said many times on this site that "you should NOT try to be like me." It appeared she did not receive that message. Ugh!


So let me explain - You should never seek to be me...you are amazing - God created you with all those gifts and talents so different than mine that your life would be wasted if you tried to be me.

As Chris Brogan says "be you hard. You’re going to do so much more than me. You’re going to change your space. You’re going to... nail it. Why try to be me. I’m going to falter at some point and you’ll have forgotten about comparisons. You should. Be you. It’s way more fun."


The Biblical principles that I share on the blog should be the same for all of us - but how we apply them will look different in every home.


I open the doors to my home via this blog to simply say "come on in and take a peak. This is how I do it. If it could be of help or encouragement feel free to join me on my journey. I am here to serve God and you BUT if this blog does not serve you there's this little red X up in the corner that you should click."

Now of course, I don't want to chase you all away!!! lol! I love you guys! BUT I am not trying to gain followers of "Courtney" but rather followers of Christ. That's who I am. I'm a flawed follower of Christ.

Jesus Christ said in Luke 9:23 "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me." I am learning how to live the crucified life one step, one day, one month, one season, one year, one decade at a time. God has used marriage, parenting, and homemaking to bring out my ugly sin and sanctify me and that is the process that I am sharing here with you - sanctification. On my own, I am feeble at best.

If you need a friend to journey along side of you in your life long pursuit of following Jesus - I'm in. But if you are trying to be like me...this is going to backfire - I am going to fail you and you will hate me in the end.

Rejoice in your uniqueness. Nail being you! Have fun being you! Delight in our differences! Do NOT be Courtney.

Walk with the King!

This Is What I Do When Life Hurts

The Making Your Home a Haven Challenge is over and I miss reading all of your link-ups already!!! Thank you for helping me make October special in my home - your accountability truly helped me! I have the most amazing readers ever! Keep it up!


Today I'm thinking about the reader who is frustrated with her home and feels that it is anything BUT a haven. I turn to Psalm 23 and I think about the inner dialogue of a woman who is hurting...


1 - The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not be in want. (want. want. want. I want...)

2. He makes me lie down (lie down...if only I could lie down for just 20 minutes...if only if only if only) in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters. (quiet. quiet. quiet...this home is so loud...television, ipods, cell phones, chatter, I can't get a moment of quiet here).


3. He restores my soul (my soul. needs. restored. ...it hurts). He guides me in paths of righteousness. (I am so alone...I have no one who understands...if only I had someone to get me out of this mess. mess. mess. Someone besides me please clean up this mess!).


4. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil (what if. what if. what if. what if I'm not enough?) for you are with me (you are? why are you so silent God?); your rod and your staff they comfort me. (comfort. who needs comfort. I am strong. I will pick myself up and press on. I am not weak.)


5. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies, you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. (overflows. overflows. overflows. Dirty dishes overflow, closets overflow, my trash cans overflow, my laundry baskets overflow, my calender overflows...if everything is so full - why do I feel so empty?)


6. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life. (follow. follow. follow. I feel like difficulties, trials, disappointments, bad relationships and financial problems follow me... goodness? love? follow me?) and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. (put on fake smile. I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever...BUT...I want. I want. I want. if only. if only. if only. my soul hurts. mess. mess. mess. I am weak. no. I am strong. empty. empty. empty.)


Do you hear the self talk? Do you hear what is happening between this woman's two ears? She is saying rotten things to herself about her life, about the people in her life, about her circumstances, and even about God. And then she wonders...why? don't? I? have? peace?


The problem is not out there - it's inside of her. Romans 12:2 says, "Be transformed by the renewing of your mind." Do you want to see a change in your home? It starts in your mind.

The Lord is indeed your Shepherd and you shall not be in want. You must claim these truths. Let him lead you by still waters...are you thirsty? Sit still. Drink a tall glass of his living word! Let him restore your soul. He is with you. He loves you. You will one day dwell in his house forever. You only have one life and living it in the Eeyore state is not living at all!


Are you in a storm? Do you need help? Psalm 121:1 says, "I lift up my eyes to the hills - where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth."

At the core - I am empty, ugly, self-seeking, insecure, questioning myself to death regularly (even cried for about 30 minutes in my husband's office this week over my fears. fears. fears. and failures). I hurt. I struggle. I wrestle. But then - I lift my eyes up to the maker of the heavens and the earth and this world pauses for just a moment and all my ugly thoughts and self talk are washed away by his love, grace and peace. The storms do not disappear but seeing a glimpse of the sunshine that awaits me, lifts me up when I am weak. I am weak. I am weak. He is strong. And so I rest. And he restores.

(If you are discouraged, I pray you will take just 5 minutes to let this song speak truth into your life. Stop the inner dialogue and habits of doubt and negative self talk and fill your mind with truth. truth. truth. You must hear the truth.)

Praise You in This Storm / Casting Crowns

I was sure by now,God, that You would have reached down
and wiped our tears away,
stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen
and it's still raining
as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain,
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away.


Chorus:
And I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm


I remember when I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to You
and raised me up again
my strength is almost gone how can I carry on
if I can't find You
and as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away


Chorus
I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth
I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth


Walk with the King!

I am linking up here :

Our Family Went To New York City Last Weekend

Last weekend, I took the kids to see their daddy on a business trip 7 hours away in PA (really it was more like 10 with all the stops for the kids). Can I just say for the record - traveling alone with kids is hard. Even with the DVD player going and bags stuffed with toys, it's hard. We weren't able to leave our sin natures at home - so it wasn't long before there was bickering in the back seat (I was wishing I had a candle to light in the car lol!).

So we arrived in far east Pennsylvania and we met my husband. From there we took a train to Penn Station, a taxi to Battery Park and a ferry to see the Statue of Liberty. How grand she is!
Did I mention we waited in line for nearly 2 hours to catch the ferry? As an impatient American, that was not my favorite experience of the day! Did I mention there was a security check that made us feel like criminals? Did I mention how we were all squished on the ferry to the island?

From the Statue of Liberty we boarded the ferry to head to Ellis Island.
God had a life lesson in store for me!

My great grandfather came over on a boat from Hungary in the early 1900's - so I stood where he stood. As I read the history of the horrific 1+month boat ride from Europe - to the land of opportunity - I was humbled. The pictures of the travelers squished onto the boat with the clothes on their back and nothing but hope packed in their hearts touched me.

Suddenly the 10 hour drive, train ride, taxi ride, long line, security check and ferry ride seemed minor compared to what my Great Grandpa went through to see Lady Liberty!

Great Grandpa came with a dream - to make life better for generations to come and there I stood - living out his dream. Could he have imagined how amazing his great granddaughter's life would be - all because of his sacrifice? Thank you Lord for such a brave and visionary Grandpa!

His name is on the wall of Ellis Island - he is Jozsef M Degi. He left his wife behind to come and work and earn money to send for her. It took him TEN years to get the money to send for his wife - could you imagine? Her name is under his - Katalin Szasz Degi.
Their sacrifice is my reward.


As I looked at my overflowing trunk to come back to Ohio, I was humbled. I had more in my car for a 4 day weekend trip than my Great Grandpa had on the boat.


I want a piece of my Great Grandpa's courage. I want his fortitude. I want his vision. I want his strength. I want his endurance. I want his diligence. I want his hope.

Psalm 145:4,5

"One generation will commend your works to another; they will tell of your mighty acts. They will speak of the glorious splendor of your majesty, and I will meditate on your wonderful works."

Tell your children how God has blessed your family and the people he has used to create your present. Tell the stories - let the next generation hear of God's marvelous works, his grace, his love. See to it that your children are inspired to have courage and hope like those who have come before them.

Walk with the King!

The Comparison Trap

I am having technical difficulties. So I am reposting an oldie but goodie:

Psalm 139:13,14 "For you created my inmost being, you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made."

I linger in front of the mirror for a moment...what do I see? A grey hair popping out, that big sun spot on my cheek, those bags under my eyes - those are new since having children. And then there's my beloved muffin top - possibly the thing that makes me most insecure. For me - all it takes is a mirror to get me discontent. The only thing worse than a mirror is the comparison trap.

We all do it - we compare ourselves to...

1. Ourselves - and our pre-baby days. I have a picture of myself with friends in college by my computer - sometimes I marvel at how thin I was!

2. Our siblings - Both of my sister's are size 0! I blogged about this struggle here.

3. Our friends - I have some tall friends who make me feel so short! You know who you are!!! lol! Those who know me well know I ALWAYS have a heel on unless I am exercising.

4. Our foes - if comparison for you turns into jealousy then you are way off track from where God wants you and you have gone from being a friend to a foe. Jealousy is ugly and deadly - it'd be better to pluck your eye out than to covet your neighbors beauty.

5. Strangers - I'll admit it - I've walked through the mall at times and have seen those skinny, tan, tiny bottomed teenage girls with perky chests - it's a tough pill to swallow.

6. Celebrities - Comparing yourself to celebrities is a lose/lose situation - they have trainers, cooks, nannies, hair stylists, fashion designers, and airbrushing!! We can't possibly keep up!

So what can we do? It's really a matter of mindset. I dare you right there at your computer - praise God for how well he made you. Go ahead do it.....

Did something you don't really like about yourself pop into your head? What is it? Now praise God for it... - does it feel strange?

Here's my prayer: "What a blessed life I have led! Thank you Lord for my muffin top - it means I've had bountiful amounts of food. Thank you for my grey hairs it means I've been blessed with years, thank you for my bags under my eyes - it means I have been blessed with many people in my home to love and care for, thank you for my sun spot - it reminds me of all those fun days on the beach or at the pool."

That's a strange prayer isn't it. The world says - suck the muffin top out with lipo suction, color the greys (I do that by the way!), conceal the bags, have the sun spot removed and on and on it goes.

Now try again to thank God for that thing in the mirror that drives you nuts! It's hard I know - that's because you've been focusing on it and thinking so negatively for so long that your mind can barely bare the idea of actually praising God for how wonderfully you are made. You have been beating yourself up with the comparison trap!!!

Now try again - focus on the wonderful things he has given you - eyes to see, ears to hear, hands to serve, feet that walk, a heart that beats, lungs that hold air, a brain that can read and understand this, and a heart to feel God's love - wow - you are amazing! Aren't you wonderful (and I don't mean this in a prideful sense)? God made you and he says you were wonderfully made - trust him that he made you the way you are for his purposes!

John Piper says "The fight for joy is a fight to see." It's a fight to see things from God's perspective rather than this world's. We must fight for it if we are going to live well!

Walk with the King!

Are You Craving for Somthing More? Ecclesiastes 6

Wednesdays in the Word

An elderly woman lays in her bed wrinkled and weary from 83 years of labor, toil, joys and griefs. Her husband sits beside her holding her hand. The hospice nurse is close by and they are waiting...waiting for her to pass onto eternity's shore. Moments pass...she takes her last breath...like a vapor here today and gone tomorrow, she is gone.

Have you ever thought at night as you lie in bed - this is all I take into eternity with me...one day I will pass and be left bare. I have. My husband and I have actually discussed it multiple times while laying in bed. Though we may be surrounded by a room of loved ones we each will make this journey alone, with no bags packed for our journey - nothing to offer God but what we have done for our Savior on this earth.

This earth is a crazy place. It's so easy to be sucked into meaningless vain things.

Ecclesiastes 6:7-9 says "All man's efforts are for his mouth, yet his appetite is never satisfied. What advantage has a wise man over a fool? What does a poor man gain by knowing how to conduct himself before others? Better what the eye sees than the roving of the appetite. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind."

Whether you are the President of a huge company or a college student working part-time to eat at McDonald's - we all work for one thing - food. It's amazing how our appetite for food drives us. We can eat a massive breakfast and be stuffed to the gills and by lunch be hungry all over AGAIN! Our hunger drives us. Wealth is the same. It never satisfies - we always have a craving for more. No matter what material thing you choose to fill your void in your soul - it will be lacking.

It's amazing how as a parent I can clearly see that a "Happy Meal" at McDonald's makes my children happy for about 1 hour max! Then they completely forget about the toy and the next time we are at McDonald's guess what they want AGAIN - a "Happy Meal" and I want them to feel happy so I buy it for them! Well, as adults our "happy meals" just get bigger and more expensive. We continue to need a fix...a nice dinner out, a new outfit, a new car, or a new house! What's your fix - what makes you content for about 1 week and then you want more?

Ecclesiastes 5:19 says "Moreover, when God gives any man wealth and possessions and ENABLES him to enjoy them, to accept his lot and be happy in his work - this is a GIFT of God."

I know you have many gifts - this computer you read on is a gift. God says in the verse above that he wants to give us the ability to enjoy the gifts he has given us. But if we are always craving more - are we ever able to just enjoy what we have?

Pause and remember - we go into eternity with absolutely nothing packed in a suitcase - only the deeds we have done for the glory of God. Today - shut out the noise of this world - tune into the voice of God speaking softly in your ear...he says stop "chasing after the wind". Be content with the good gifts he has blessed you with.

Walk with the King!

Pursue God Not Stuff - Ecclesiastes 5

So I was at Target last night. I didn't go there to shop, but to find a table to sit at and do my Bible study. As I sat there studying the book of Ecclesiastes I found it ironic that I could hear the non-stop beep beep beep beep sound of things being rang up at the cash register!

The writer of Ecclesiastes, King Solomon, was known for his immense amount of wealth and his extravagant palace. In chapter one he sits back and evaluates all he has and says, "Meaningless! Meaningless! Utterly Meaningless! Everything is Meaningless!"


Beep Beep Beep Beep - go the cash registers. In chapter 5 King Solomon continues, "Whoever loves money never has enough; whoever loves wealth is never satisfied with his income. This too is meaningless. As goods increase, so do those who consume them."

I get up from my seat to get a refill on my drink - the lines have grown quite long - beep beep beep beep - the cash registers all play in unison.

"And what benefit are they to the owner except to feast his eyes on them. The sleep of a laborer is sweet, whether he eats little or much, but the abundance of a rich man permits him no sleep."

I look out the window and watch as men, women, young and old walk out of the store with overflowing carts - beep beep beep beep - the people continue to flood in through the doors.


Who am I to judge I think? I can see one mother with a baby carrier and diapers. Those certainly are necessary. Who am I to judge? I see another family carrying a bag - the bag is clear and I can see the letters W - i - i . What a blessing - their family now has a Wii - I bet those children are going to have a ball when they get home!!!

Oh what a blessed nation we are!!! Or are we? Have we realized that this is all meaningless? Have we realized how much work we have made for ourselves trying to organize all of our STUFF! We buy bins, shelves, hooks, and baskets just to try to manage all of this stuff!

I sit back in my chair and just ponder for a minute - and the noise of the beep beep beep beep sound has grown terribly distracting and annoying! I cross reference over to Proverbs and read chapter 23:5. "Cast but a glance at riches, and they are gone, for they will surely sprout wings and fly off to the sky line an eagle."

Are riches stable? I think about what is happening on Wall Street and Main Street and in our Capital right now. For many, their life savings or retirement just grew wings and flew away. So many have lost so much! All that hard work and labor - gone... meaningless. Beep Beep Beep Beep - the registers continue their song.

What do we do? The book of Ecclesiastes comes to a close with 3 conclusions. Chapter 12 tells us: 1.) "Fear God" 2.) "Keep God's commandments" and 3) be prepared for judgement day because "God will bring every deed into judgment including every hidden thing, whether it is good or evil."

I read a challenge on another blog that I want to bring to you - I challenge you to try to use every single thing you own in your house this month! What? Did you just say - "It's not possible." Me too. What are we teaching our children? Are we fearing God and keeping his commands in America? Are we ready for judgment day?

Beep beep beep beep - the registers continue to sing their chorus. I sense the Holy Spirit urging me - do not pursue stuff - pursue God.

Walk with the King,

This post is linked to InCourage.

Michael Jackson Dies Unsatisfied

Tomorrow a mother will bury her son - a tragedy. Michael Jackson's memorial service is scheduled to take place at the Staples Center in Los Angelos. It is a tragedy to see a man die at the young age of 50. It is a tragedy to see an amazing artist in such physical pain that he begs for strong medication. It is a tragedy to see a man worth millions of dollars die 400 million dollars in debt.

The AP (American Press) reports:

After selling more than 61 million albums in the U.S. and having a decade-long attraction open at Disney theme parks, the "King of Pop" died Thursday at age 50 reportedly awash in about $400 million in debt,One of Jackson's shrewdest deals at the height of his fame in 1985 was the $47.5 million acquisition of ATV Music, which owned the copyright to songs written by the Beatles' John Lennon and Paul McCartney. The catalog provided Jackson a steady stream of income and the ability to afford a lavish lifestyle.

He bought the sprawling Neverland ranch in 1988 for $14.6 million, a fantasy-like 2,500-acre property nestled in the hills of Santa Barbara County's wine country.In March of last year, the singer faced foreclosure on Neverland. He also repeatedly failed to make mortgage payments on a house in Los Angeles that had been used for years by his family. *Associated Press

61 million records he sold! This man had it all - talent, fame, and fortune. As you can see from one photo to the next he was dissatisfied with his looks - so he altered them (a picture is worth a thousand words!). As we can see from the financial reports he was dissatisfied with his wealth - he overspent to the point of going 400 million dollars in debt. The hundreds of millions of dollars he earned was not enough for him - he was compelled to want more.

The traps that Michael fell into are the same traps we fall into...we think we will be satisfied if we just weighed a few pounds less, had a bigger or smaller cup size, if we just had that new house, that new car, that new outfit, that new purse.

The truth is the girl with the $500 shoes and Prada purse over her shoulder may look impressive, but that purse still holds junk - every person deals with secret pain - dissatisfaction - the desire for something more to fill that inner emptiness!

But Paul says in I Timothy 6:6-9:"But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. People who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge men into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs."

Notice this verse does not point out folly in being rich but in the person who "wants to get rich". It is a trap that leads to destruction and griefs and it all starts with discontentment - not being fully satisfied in God. How can we find contentment in America where the majority crave for more more more? Our culture screams at us that we need more - and sometimes our prayers turn God into a heavenly pinata as we beg him to give us even more.

Did you have leftovers last night? Be thankful - that means God has given you food in abundance. Are you exhausted with overflowing laundry baskets? Be thankful - that means God has given your family clothes in abundance. Are your closets a mess and need reorganized - be thankful - that means God has given you things in abundance. Is your housework overwhelming? Be thankful God has given you a home to clean. If your family makes $50,000 or more, you are wealthier than 99% of the entire world (World Vision Statistic). One reason we Americans pursue more is because we idolize pop stars, movie stars and television stars who literally have so much more. All of the overspending both in our private lives and in the government are destroying our country.

Contentment is a spiritual issue - not a money issue. Contentment is not about how much money you have - contentment is learning to see money as God does. Contentment is learning to see God as He is and to trust in Him alone. Let this free you - money IS NOT the key to contentment - as we see clearly in Michael's case. The secret to contentment is finding satisfaction in God alone - then any extras are simply a cherry on top.

"Godliness with contentment is great gain." Pursue God - pursue contentment - and you will have more than an infamous multi-million dollar man ever had.

Walk with the King!

http://www.womenlivingwell.org/

Hmmmm- Diet Coke or Water?

Every time I sit in a restaurant I have this inner battle - diet coke or water? My favorite drink is diet coke but the bad news is diet coke is not the healthiest choice and it doesn't stand a chance next to it's competitor - water. Water has been proven to:

Improve Your Energy
Increase Your Mental and Physical Performance
Remove Toxins & Waste Products from your body
Keep Skin Healthy and Glowing
Allow for proper Digestion
& Help you lose weight

Soda has the opposite effect - it dehydrates you and does other harmful things to your body. And though I've heard all these facts many times - I just keep on drinking my diet cokes! So what's my problem?

The simple answer is - I like it! But I know water is better for my well being! I get sad just thinking about my internal war at restaurants - diet coke or Water? Hmph!

Jesus compared his word to water - here's what he had to say in John 4:13-14, "Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life."

Did you see that? Jesus calls us to drink from His living water - we know all the benefits and how he can change our lives and yet we still continue to fill up on other earthly stuff to fill our voids and Jesus says - as long as you fill up on this temporary stuff - you will continue to thirst. You see, without Christ you will always long for more - more food, more clothes, more friends, more fun experiences, more vacations - more, more, more. But Christ says - come to me - I will fill you up and you will never thirst! You will be completely satisfied!

Do you wonder why the title of my website is http://www.womenlivingwell.org/? Because Jesus is our living well and women will not live well until we are drinking from the living well!!!

So the question is not diet coke or water? But will you reach for Jesus -or- stuff to satisfy your soul? Does anyone else feel this tug-o-war for your soul?

Walk with the King!
Courtney
http://www.womenlivingwell.org/

Americans Crave to Be Full

Americans crave to be full - we want full stomachs, full closets, full garages, full toy boxes, and full calendars. Americans have more stuff than any nation in the world and we have placed our hope and dreams in this stuff. We find joy in the next meal, the next fun experience, or our next purchase. But we only feel full for a few moments and then we are empty again and have to go back out and try to get full again from something else.

Beth Moore says "Any craving is a red flag that we are not being satisfied in God. What makes people want to get drunk or high? They want to feel different because they are empty."

Maybe you don't get drunk or high - but are you craving stuff? It's an American epidemic that is going to ruin our country if we don't stop.

Psalm 63:1 says "O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you..."

Do you long for God in this way? Do you spend time with Him everyday and fulfill those longings? I remember when Keith and I were on a cruise - the food was spectacular - breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks in between and even a midnight chocolate buffet! My stomach was satisfied - there was never a chance for me to even get hungry!

Psalm 63 goes on in verse 5 to say "My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods".

Can you say that your soul is satisfied with Christ as with the richest of foods? As if you just buffeted on Him all day long? God wants us to be completely satisfied in Him - complete and lacking nothing.

Don't just be pacified by what the world offers - like a baby is with his pacifier - but be like a baby who has just finished his bottle - fully satisfied. Be fully satisfied with Christ.

Walk with the King!

Courtney

http://www.womenlivingwell.org/