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Women Living Well Blog: Do Not Be Courtney

Women Living Well Blog

Monday, January 24, 2011

Do Not Be Courtney

(This post is basically a disclaimer...the next time someone thinks that I am trying to make cookie cutter marriages, or parenting or homemaking I will send them this link - so just humor me for a moment while I publically get this out! lol!)

Some time ago, a reader bumped into me while I was out and about. She began to share her feedback on my blog. It was transparent and honest. It was friendly while at the same time inquisitive and seeking some explanation for why I write some of the things that I write. While there were a plethora of topics we covered, at the end, the part that disturbed me was that though I have said many times on this site that "you should NOT try to be like me." It appeared she did not receive that message. Ugh!

So let me explain - You should never seek to be are amazing - God created you with all those gifts and talents so different than mine that your life would be wasted if you tried to be me.

As Chris Brogan says "be you hard. You’re going to do so much more than me. You’re going to change your space. You’re going to... nail it. Why try to be me. I’m going to falter at some point and you’ll have forgotten about comparisons. You should. Be you. It’s way more fun."

The Biblical principles that I share on the blog should be the same for all of us - but how we apply them will look different in every home.

I open the doors to my home via this blog to simply say "come on in and take a peak. This is how I do it. If it could be of help or encouragement feel free to join me on my journey. I am here to serve God and you BUT if this blog does not serve you there's this little red X up in the corner that you should click."

Now of course, I don't want to chase you all away!!! lol! I love you guys! BUT I am not trying to gain followers of "Courtney" but rather followers of Christ. That's who I am. I'm a flawed follower of Christ.

Jesus Christ said in Luke 9:23 "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me." I am learning how to live the crucified life one step, one day, one month, one season, one year, one decade at a time. God has used marriage, parenting, and homemaking to bring out my ugly sin and sanctify me and that is the process that I am sharing here with you - sanctification. On my own, I am feeble at best.

If you need a friend to journey along side of you in your life long pursuit of following Jesus - I'm in. But if you are trying to be like me...this is going to backfire - I am going to fail you and you will hate me in the end.

Rejoice in your uniqueness. Nail being you! Have fun being you! Delight in our differences! Do NOT be Courtney.

Walk with the King!



Blogger Terri said...

LOL, I understand what you are saying but I also strive to get to where you are in your walk with Christ. I promise to recognize that my walk will be different from yours!

January 24, 2011 at 12:38 AM  
OpenID teresamcnamara said...

A very wise post and good choice of picture Courtney. My path is very different from yours in that I am called to teach in our Catholic School system and will eventually be working full time again. However we are the same in that we are both trying to do the best we can for our families.

January 24, 2011 at 12:58 AM  
Blogger Mary Joy said...

Amen! Amen! Amen!!! Good for you! What a great reminder!!! We are all on our own journey with Jesus as we minister to our husbands, children and our home. We journey together and encourage one another but our journey should look as unique as we are from one another...God created us each with special gifts, talents, strengths and ways of touching hearts. Jesus is our goal!! Sometimes its too easy to try to be someone else and we forget to live our own journey. I've done it before too. Living our own journey is such an amazing gift from God! Thanks for reminding everyone to treasure that gift!

Bless you!!!

Building Home with Him,

Mary Joy

January 24, 2011 at 12:59 AM  
Blogger Holloway Family said...

Many years ago when I was first married I would compare myself to other women who had been married for many years and seemed to have their lives together, did everything they were told exactly the way they were told, and then one day I woke up! I discovered that I can't be like everyone else. The Lord has given me unique challenges in my life that don't allow me to be the "perfect" homemaker. But He has given me the wisdom to know what I am good at in my homemaking skills. Luckily I have a support system that helps me daily and have found encouragement through friends and family. I read your blog to be inspired about how I can be come a better homemaker (with unique challenges), a better wife/mother, a better daughter/friend, and most importantly a better daughter of God.
Thank you
Pam in Brussels, Belgium

January 24, 2011 at 1:51 AM  
Blogger Annie said...

well said. For the record, I've felt judged by others for not fitting into their ideals. I don't feel that way by you or that you're trying to tweak me into anything. I feel like you're writing to help, to engage, to suggest, to inspire. Some of it speaks directly to me...and I go with it. Some of it doesn't, and that's fine. God meant that message for someone else. thanks for the disclaimer...have a glorious week!

January 24, 2011 at 2:07 AM  
Blogger ♥Lucky Lees to Be ♥ said...


I'm amazed that someone has thought that! I look at you as someone who is constantly growing in the Lord, as a sister in Christ. Everyone is perfect in God's eyes the way they are! I've never perceived your blog as a "you should be like me" blog, because it's not. I love your blog because of your openness, your honesty, your heart, and all the things you express when posting. I actually read your posts over and over because they are so raw and truthful. I don't idolize you or envy you, but you do inspire me, to be the best follower of Christ that I can be. I wish I could hug you through the screen when I read your blogs, because they always tug on my heartstrings. Courtney, keep doing what you're doing!

January 24, 2011 at 2:57 AM  
Blogger Susan said...

Well said Courtney! I've never felt like you're trying to make "us" into "you", so rest easily on that point (at least with me). I love reading your blog and feel like I have found many nuggets of wisdom and a lot of encouragement here. Keep it up! :)

January 24, 2011 at 7:17 AM  
Blogger Tiffany said...

This is a beautiful post. God created us all to be our own person. We are all unique and that is what makes us us! You are an inspiration. Thank you for being you and we will continue being us as we all share in this walk of Christ. Thank you for the reminder to "nail being me"!

January 24, 2011 at 7:35 AM  
Blogger Courtney Jean said...

I think you are smart for posting this. As a newlywed and a young mother I used to always compare myself to other women. That process simply gets a woman nowhere. I believe your blog has been extremely helpful to encourage and inspire tons of women everywhere. It has been for me! Keep on doing what you've been doing, we all love and appreciate your work!

January 24, 2011 at 7:39 AM  
Anonymous Lizzy said...

What a great word--thank you! This is also a good reminder for me to pray His protection over you--you are leading other women to Christ and of course some will attack in some way. I am so sorry anyone would judge your sweet heart!
You are a gift and blessing to so many and He is using you mightily!

January 24, 2011 at 8:01 AM  
Anonymous Becky said...

What a great reminder! We're all on our own paths, walking our own journey. It's my hope that someday I might run into some of you for coffee at a pit stop!

We're all unique in the eyes of God and should celebrate who God made us to be. We cannot be like someone else, we can only be ourselves.


January 24, 2011 at 8:08 AM  
Blogger Nicole Auld said...

Courtney--lovely post! AMEN to this post sister! You are so honest---love you for that!

January 24, 2011 at 8:19 AM  
Anonymous Ashley Pichea said...

"The Biblical principles that I share on the blog should be the same for all of us - but how we apply them will look different in every home."

BEAUTIFUL words - and so true!! I think sometimes we get caught up in trying to look like other people instead of trying to look like our Savior. Thank you for this timely reminder to reflect HIM!!

January 24, 2011 at 8:59 AM  
Blogger HD said...

Love the post!! It was just what I needed on this Monday morning. I'm returning to school for my masters, and just trying to get back in the swing of things after the winter break. It's hard to do all of what is required of us and pursue our own dreams to. Especially when some people say you must do this...& this..& this to be a good wife, mother, etc. Thanks for the reminder that if I focus on the one and only Lord, he will guide my steps to become the best wife, mother, daughter, essentially WOMAN that He designed me to be. Thanks for the fellowship daily!!

January 24, 2011 at 9:07 AM  
Anonymous Dandelion's Cottage said...

So sorry if 'some' have discouraged you. I appreciate what you are saying. I think there are many of us that are alike and that are going in the same direction that God has put us on. Your an encouragement! I think blogs portray, usually, the best and most encouraging parts of us. I, like every woman... I am sure even you, have struggled looking at another bloggers blog on a bad day and wished you were more like that. We do that as sinners! Just yesterday I was falling into that temptation. I don't get many followers right now. I can't imagine all the comments and feedback that you receive! Hang in there and know that you are an encouragement... it's clear you are trying to be HIS vessel.

January 24, 2011 at 9:13 AM  
Blogger Lisa Maria said...

Courtney, what a great post! You couldn't have said it better or more humbly. We are ALL flawed and have our own path to follow. As you put it so eloquently... what you do is to build up "followers of Christ" and to build the Kingdom. We are all called to do that.. in whatever little way we can! Keep on doing what you do Courtney and thanks for the inspiration!

January 24, 2011 at 9:19 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dearest Courtney -

I loved your transparency in this post.

Thank you for being real. Because, I will admit - anonymously - that, yes....I've wanted to be like you.

I actually had that thought THIS MORNING while doing GMG!!!!

You're absolutely right and I appreciate you stating so. I was playing the comparision trap. Thanks for helping me see this truth.

You are SUCH an inspiration and I love you! I hope this comment doesn't discourage you but you walk so closely with the King! I've "wanted to be like Courtney and Angela". But I can't. I can only be who God created me to be.

I'm going to "nail being me".

Love you!!! :)

January 24, 2011 at 9:39 AM  
Blogger Kelly said...

Great post, Courtney. You worded that beatifully. It reminds me of something I got out of a Joyce Meyer teaching and put on a Post-It note. "God will never help you be anybody else but you." I don't want to stand before God and realize that He had something special for me to do, but I was too busy trying to be someone else. Thank you, Courtney, for being a wonderful source of inspiration and encouragement on my unique journey.

January 24, 2011 at 9:56 AM  
Blogger Shawna said...

With all that being said...thank you for being you! Your blog is very encouraging to me and your challenges have helped open my eyes to how I can love my husband better! My family and my life don't run exactly like yours does...but we can still encourage each other from God's word- just like Titus 2 says to!
Thank you!

January 24, 2011 at 10:02 AM  
Blogger Mrs. Stam said...

Amen, again Amen!
What a great post, indeed we can all learn from each other and use tips to try to see if it will work or not, but ultimately God is our guide!, and source of wisdom

January 24, 2011 at 10:28 AM  
Blogger Darlene Schacht said...

I think that as women we tend to do this, and also as bloggers. It's hard not to look at successful blogs and say, "It's working for her--why not try that myself? I can be Ann Voskamp! I can be Courtney!!"

But I always have to keep myself in check to be the most authentic "me" I can be. God has created me with a purpose, and He didn't use the same cookie cutter for any of us.

It's a lesson we need to apply to our homes as well as our writing.

Thank you for being you, because that is what we love.

January 24, 2011 at 10:32 AM  
Blogger cindy said...

Love the picture choice sis...I couldnt actually LOVE it more and the post AMEN, AMEN, and an AMEN you are an amazing ENCOURAGER however none of us should be finding our identity in ANYONE other than CHRIST Himself HE alone is our PERFECT example... Courtney though I love ya and am sooooo very blessed by your blog and Girlfriends in God SHE TO IS A WORK IN PROGRESS we all are, AND WE ALL also have different gifts talents and lot's in life and God does NOT make mistakes. Thank you for this beautiful reminder and thank you for your faithful encouragement and honesty that you too are flawed as we ALL are God Bless your Journey Courtney love ya sis <3

January 24, 2011 at 10:52 AM  
Blogger Alex and Ashley said...

Good post. I definitely agree with what you are saying. However, I also believe that if the things you suggest and encourage are Biblical than we should not just say... "Oh, that's just not me. That may be good for Courtney but not me." ... sometimes when we have someone in our life that is living Biblically we should want to be more like them!! :)... while still being authentic of course!
You are an amazing women...and you do a lot that others are not cut out for... but in the areas where you are encouraging Biblical womanhood we should all look to you as an example.
We should all be striving to be like Christ!!!
Thank you for being so encouraging Courtney. Have a good day!!!

January 24, 2011 at 11:34 AM  
Blogger Heather said...

I have recently found your blog, and really enjoy it! Just a couple days ago, I watched the Rachel Ray segment, and while I thought it was a great spot, I think it would make it easy to dislike you - this is said with a a smile! You are beautiful ,you have a very nice home, a good looking, loving husband, everything looks perfect, too perfect. But that is where I appreciate what you say in your blogs, because you are pointing us to Christ, and you aren't claiming to be perfect, just another woman striving to walk this journey with her Savior! Thank you for your candor and honesty!

January 24, 2011 at 11:41 AM  
Blogger Becca said...

Very well said courtney!!

January 24, 2011 at 11:56 AM  
Anonymous Redeemed04 said...

Good post.The way i see your blog is what the bible says :

"The older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things -- that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed." (Titus 2:3-5) .

I can see the trap in wanting to do what people others do as thr grass is always greener on the other side.I would say however that you have good character qualities and to keep it up as your an example to many.People have to remember they are unique and its our character God is interested in not how we do laundry or our special way or sweeping! LOL

January 24, 2011 at 12:47 PM  
Blogger rachelizabeth said...

I wouldn't want to be you. I get exhausted reading about all the things you do. =)

There's one area in which I was more like you - your passion for life, for Jesus, for others shines daily. I wish I was more like that.

January 24, 2011 at 1:14 PM  
Blogger Sarah beth said...

GREAT post Courtney!

January 24, 2011 at 2:18 PM  
Blogger Forever Changing said...

I would not want two of my children to be exactly alike, just as I am sure that God does not want two of his children to be exactly alike. God has a plan for each of us! I do think that God puts people in your life to help you grow, to look up to, to learn from some of the things they have gone through! I am so thankful that God has brought you to me through your blog. As long as I feel God is using you to help me grow as a person than I will keep reading your post :)

January 24, 2011 at 2:39 PM  
Blogger Naomi said...

I respect you for writing this. I follow you weekly, and my life is very different than yours, I am single and a working professional...BUT, I am so encouraged by you and admire and respect your dedication to the Lord. You have encouraged me in so many ways. Like you said, application will be different for each of us, and thats okay : )

January 24, 2011 at 4:25 PM  
Blogger Toni said...

Love this. It's just what I've come to expect from you, Courtney. Thanks for encouraging women to BE encouraged, but not try to BE you. Blessings,

January 24, 2011 at 4:26 PM  
Blogger scrapper said...

Never had a desire to be you (though we share the same birthday!) however following your blog has improved my marriage and strengthened my family so thanks!

January 24, 2011 at 8:36 PM  
Blogger Kristine said...

Could it be true that we all strive to be more Like Christ but because some of us struggle with insecurities we try to model apart from Christ sometimes? Or could it be just the process of growth and maturity?

We all want a mentor and someone to look up to or follow, but what happens? Maybe we put them up on a pedestal and make that person a god? Not that it is intentional but I have seen it and I have done it myself. Especially someone who is godly. Through growth and hard times, I have been forced to ONLY look UP. That is when I realized how I was looking to others to satisfy my deepest longing which we know only Christ can fill. Through trials, I learned to be secure in who I am (not that I am perfect) but we need to be comfortable in our own skin or learn to love ourselves. Maybe then we can see what God's intention is for us as we strive to be more like Christ.

Hope that makes sense but those are my thoughts regarding your post. :)

January 24, 2011 at 10:09 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you for your post!!! I have caught myself reading your blog and thinking that you have and do it all...that there is no way I can measure up to your pursuits. It is relieving to be reminded that you are not called to be me and I'm not called to be you.

Thanks again!!

January 24, 2011 at 10:12 PM  
Blogger Saved by Grace said...

Amen sis!! Awesome post and great reminder that ultimately the one we need to be like is Christ. God is using you in a mighty way, and encouraging and ministering to the hearts of many. I can honestly say that I've done this very thing, in the past. And its as you say, they will fail you. The only person that will never fail us is Jesus! I am so blessed and thankful for your blog. And will only see you as a sister encouraging another sister.Proverbs 27:17
As iron sharpens iron, So a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.
I also see you as a Titus 2 woman.. Titus 2:4-5
4 that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, 5 to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed.
You are an example of that to us. Thank you for your servants heart sister!
Your sister in Christ Jesus!

January 25, 2011 at 12:21 AM  
Blogger Sarah said...

I just stumbled across your blog and thought it was a beautiful post. It's so easy to compare ourselves to other people and forget we are unique creations. I constantly need to remind myself that my only job is to be the best 'me' I can be, with God's help.

January 25, 2011 at 7:21 AM  
Blogger A Little R&R said...

How beautiful! Thank you. I so appreciate your blog and love everything you write. And I will confess to attempting to do this when I first stumbled on your blog. (O_O) But, I soon realized that our home is totally upside to most. With hubby working shifts, our home will never be "normal" - and I am now on a quest to find our niche as a family in shift work. It's not easy. and yet while copy-catting is never good, one can always take good advise and tailor it to their own homes. So, that's why I love your blog so much. I get such great ideas, and then find ways to tailor them to our home life. :)

Sure do love ya!!!

January 25, 2011 at 12:17 PM  
Anonymous Amanda said...

Well said, for sure. I love your blog Courtney and although I rarely comment...I am reading and enjoyinh your posts. Your commitment to your husband and encouraging other wives to do the same is awesome. :) God Bless you!

January 25, 2011 at 2:57 PM  
Blogger Missy said...

Great post! I have been a reader on your blog for the past year or so and I have to say that I find it very inspiring, informational and entertaining. I have never been under the impression that you were trying to make anyone be like you--so please rest assured of that! I admire who YOU are and am always impressed with how you handle criticism! Kudos!

January 25, 2011 at 3:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Courtney - thank you for your blog! I have learned a lot from you (thanks to a lovely lady from church who mentioned your blog). As a baby-stepping Christian who is not loving everything about the church I am (casually, at best) attending, I greatly appreciate having blogs such as yours to read to help me find my way. It's strong women like you who keep me focused on where I want my life to be. Do I wish I could have some of your wonderful traits - absolutely, and with a little discipline, I just might, but they will be with my twist. Your blog inspires me to be a better "Kim", the Kim that God created to be the wife, mother, daughter & friend that He wants me to be.

Thanks for the reading suggestions and the recipes too. I enjoy it all! You rock!

January 25, 2011 at 8:56 PM  

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