This Page

has been moved to new address

The Comparison Trap

Sorry for inconvenience...

Redirection provided by Blogger to WordPress Migration Service
Women Living Well Blog: The Comparison Trap

Women Living Well Blog

Thursday, September 2, 2010

The Comparison Trap

I am having technical difficulties. So I am reposting an oldie but goodie:
Psalm 139:13,14 "For you created my inmost being, you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made."

I linger in front of the mirror for a moment...what do I see? A grey hair popping out, that big sun spot on my cheek, those bags under my eyes - those are new since having children. And then there's my beloved muffin top - possibly the thing that makes me most insecure. For me - all it takes is a mirror to get me discontent. The only thing worse than a mirror is the comparison trap.

We all do it - we compare ourselves to...
1. Ourselves - and our pre-baby days. I have a picture of myself with friends in college by my computer - sometimes I marvel at how thin I was!

2. Our siblings - Both of my sister's are size 0! I blogged about this struggle here.

3. Our friends - I have some tall friends who make me feel so short! You know who you are!!! lol! Those who know me well know I ALWAYS have a heel on unless I am exercising.

4. Our foes - if comparison for you turns into jealousy then you are way off track from where God wants you and you have gone from being a friend to a foe. Jealousy is ugly and deadly - it'd be better to pluck your eye out than to covet your neighbors beauty.

5. Strangers - I'll admit it - I've walked through the mall at times and have seen those skinny, tan, tiny bottomed teenage girls with perky chests - it's a tough pill to swallow.

6. Celebrities - Comparing yourself to celebrities is a lose/lose situation - they have trainers, cooks, nannies, hair stylists, fashion designers, and airbrushing!! We can't possibly keep up!

So what can we do? It's really a matter of mindset. I dare you right there at your computer - praise God for how well he made you. Go ahead do it.....

Did something you don't really like about yourself pop into your head? What is it? Now praise God for it... - does it feel strange?

Here's my prayer: "What a blessed life I have led! Thank you Lord for my muffin top - it means I've had bountiful amounts of food. Thank you for my grey hairs it means I've been blessed with years, thank you for my bags under my eyes - it means I have been blessed with many people in my home to love and care for, thank you for my sun spot - it reminds me of all those fun days on the beach or at the pool."

That's a strange prayer isn't it. The world says - suck the muffin top out with lipo suction, color the greys (I do that by the way!), conceal the bags, have the sun spot removed and on and on it goes.

Now try again to thank God for that thing in the mirror that drives you nuts! It's hard I know - that's because you've been focusing on it and thinking so negatively for so long that your mind can barely bare the idea of actually praising God for how wonderfully you are made. You have been beating yourself up with the comparison trap!!!

Now try again - focus on the wonderful things he has given you - eyes to see, ears to hear, hands to serve, feet that walk, a heart that beats, lungs that hold air, a brain that can read and understand this, and a heart to feel God's love - wow - you are amazing! Aren't you wonderful (and I don't mean this in a prideful sense)? God made you and he says you were wonderfully made - trust him that he made you the way you are for his purposes!

John Piper says "The fight for joy is a fight to see." It's a fight to see things from God's perspective rather than this world's. We must fight for it if we are going to live well!

Walk with the King!



Anonymous Erin said...

Today's blog reminds me of a mantra that I often repeat to myself when I catch myself being envious of someone/ something: "Comparison destroys contentment."

September 2, 2010 at 7:49 AM  
Blogger Sheri said...

Beautiful beautiful beautiful! And quite amazing because my post is quite similar today! If only Swing by and check it out (If you want LOL).

Love ya Courtney.

September 2, 2010 at 8:13 AM  
Blogger Valerie said...

Courtney, I just had my fifth baby seven weeks ago and have been dealing with this terrible thoughts about how I look. I still can't wear my old clothes and have been so down about it. Thanks for helping me see the good about my situation today.

Blessings to you ~

September 2, 2010 at 8:25 AM  
Anonymous Jenna said...

Thanks for the encouragement! SUCH a battleground for me :( (CJ Mahaney's wife and daughters) recently did a series on comparing and such... definitely a good read!

praise God for His power that is made perfect in our weaknesses!

September 2, 2010 at 8:56 AM  
Blogger Jacki said...

This is an encouragment. Thank you!

September 2, 2010 at 9:05 AM  
Blogger jengi33 said...

Yes! I fall into this trap so very easily, not just with my appearance, but other things like what kind of a homemaker I am, etc. Thank you for the encouragement!

September 2, 2010 at 9:19 AM  
Blogger Michelle ;0) said...

Thank you for this and thank you for your blogging ministry. I needed this desperately in my life. Some moments of depression have seeped in from time to time. I needed to hear the encouragement from the Word and from your perspective. The Lord is doing a good work in me! I thank and love Him for never giving up on me!

September 2, 2010 at 9:40 AM  
Anonymous michelle said...

Thank you so much...Sure need this blog this morning!! Just feeling down and out about myself. You just made it better.


September 2, 2010 at 9:48 AM  
Blogger Stephanie said...

It DID feel weird to thank God for what I think of as my imperfections. I bet He had a good chuckle this morning! Thanks for the post. I needed it.

September 2, 2010 at 11:05 AM  
Blogger Toni said...

Oooooh, Courtney. I'm high fiving you, girlfriend. ;) I seriously LOVE transparency. Lisa Whelchel did a great job of being very transparent when she kept her blog (how I miss it!)

And now you. Which means I'll enjoy reading you all the more. I'm working on this one. Transparency is hard for me. Being raw (a.k.a. REAL) in expressing some of my struggles does not come easy for me.

THANK YOU for this very real and very comforting message. We're okay, we are, just the way we are. God doesn't always leave us the way we are and He often changes us in wonderful ways. But some things about us are truly fine "as is." That's blessed encouragement. Thanks for the time and effort you put into your blog.

September 2, 2010 at 11:57 AM  
Blogger Janelle Nehrenz said...

Love this, Girl...AMEN.

September 2, 2010 at 12:24 PM  
Blogger Sarah said...

Thank you! I was just taking pictures of my daughter and I and complaining to myself about my acne covered skin...I will be 30 in a couple of weeks. But I know I need to be grateful for looking younger than I am because of the oily skin!

September 2, 2010 at 12:26 PM  
Blogger Kelley with Amy's Angels said...

Were you in my bathroom this morning when I stepped on the scale and exclaimed, "Are you KIDDING me?!?!?" in realization that I put on a pound and a half in a week and 12 since I got married in May. Ugh!

I appreciate this prayer. It is something to use and be grateful for what you have!

I think I also need a prayer for putting down the pretzel M&M's. ha! :)

September 2, 2010 at 1:21 PM  
Blogger Mariah said...

love the post. I recently went through a rough season of insecurity. I was almost ready to give up on my marriage because of it. I read through Beth Moore's So Long Insecurity book. It was good, but a book is a book. The only book that can truly change you is the Bible. I praise GOD for my beauty-whatever I may have- AND I praise God that He held me together in a truly trying and emotional angry and depressing time. I'm on the mend...It's cool to look at all I went through and say Praise God. ‎"Scripture is not just the breath of God as if His breath is apart from His
person, but it is Him, His person, breathed out in written words." just received this in an e-mail from a friend. LOVE IT!!

September 2, 2010 at 1:29 PM  
Blogger Jacquie said...

You're right, this is an oldie but goodie! (though I haven't read it before so it was new to me) I absolutely love this perspective and we all really do need to focus on this just as you said it. Thinking about it made me cry. It really is that powerful of a message. Thank you, my sweet friend.

September 2, 2010 at 3:06 PM  
Blogger Brandi said...

Thank you, Courtney, for this post! I have been challenging myself lately to see my many blessings instead of getting tripped up and overwhelmed by life. I just wrote about it today on my blog, and I'll be posting a link to your post later today.

Walking with the King!


September 2, 2010 at 3:10 PM  
Blogger Julie Anne said...

skimmed this and had to comment on the weight comparison with sisters!

just last month we were all home together for a visit and I was bemoaning that fact that my 3 sisters are all size 6, while I languish in 10/12... My sweet husband said... "double the pleasure, double the fun" So glad he loves me as I am!

September 2, 2010 at 3:10 PM  
Blogger Darlene Schacht said...

Guilty on every point. Ugh!

September 2, 2010 at 3:22 PM  
Blogger Kassandra Wood said...

This could not have come at a more perfect time! I am 30 and my acne has come back after years of being under control... when I look in the mirror, it makes me cringe... Thank you for this post... I don't know what I could thank "for" about acne, considering it is an illness... but I will figure it out. XOXOXOXOXOXO

September 2, 2010 at 6:19 PM  
Blogger Melanie said...

I read this post first thing this morning, and I finally decided to come back and comment. I have been struggling with this for SO long and have been tearing myself apart in the comparison trap! THANK YOU for this post! It is so TRUE, and HONEST, and written with such a sweet and gentle spirit. I really can't thank you enough.

in His precious, unfailing love,
~ ~

September 2, 2010 at 9:06 PM  
Blogger My Own Sense and Sensibility said...

This truth will set us free. For the Lord desires for us to praise Him and be thankful in everything! Thank you for reminding us all to fight to see the beauty God sees in us. Blessings!

September 2, 2010 at 10:02 PM  
Blogger FunMom said...

Great post! Very convicting! I complained about my greys and my muffin top TODAY! Don't think I've ever thanked God for them though...gonna try that TONIGHT! Thanks! :)

September 2, 2010 at 11:52 PM  
Blogger Misty aka Elvisgirl said...

Amen! Great prayer.

September 3, 2010 at 3:10 AM  
Blogger Patty H. said...

Very timely post! THank you. Ienjoy reading your blog!

Patty H.

September 4, 2010 at 8:27 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Courtney-- this was awesome! Really "answers" the email I sent you a couple of months ago... this was a great post! Again, thank you for your ministry!

September 6, 2010 at 10:19 PM  

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home