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Women Living Well Blog: Thriving In A Spiritually Mismatched Marriage

Women Living Well Blog

Monday, February 7, 2011

Thriving In A Spiritually Mismatched Marriage

Deanna, answered: An unequally yoked marriage is a difficult path to walk. But I want to encourage you by saying that one can have a happy, fulfilling marriage with an unbelieving husband. You do not just have to survive your spiritually mismatched marriage, but you can actually thrive in the midst of it.

On November 14th, I (Deanna) celebrated 28 years of marriage with my beloved unbeliever. God has had to do a mighty work in my heart and I have come to know my Lord and Savior intimately as God has taught me how to be a godly wife to a man who had no interest in spiritual things. My life verse has been, "I can do all things thru Christ who strengthens me." (Phil 4:13)

As I reflect back over the years I would like to share with you some of the Pitfalls to having a marriage that thrives:

First, I had a "Holier Than Thou Attitude". I esteemed myself above him because I was a Christian and he was not!! Oh my!!! God's word says: Phil 2:3-4 "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interest of others."

Second, I had a judgmental attitude. I was often mentally critical of his actions and words. I felt since my husband did not seek God, how could he speak into my life! I used sarcasm as a weapon. I played the martyr and treated my marriage as a cross I must bear for being unequally yoked. I did not treat my husband with respect. Ephesians does not give us an option on respecting our husbands. It does not say "if he deserves it" or "if you feel like it"," if he is a Christian or not"- just to respect our husbands- period! (Ephesians 5:33 "However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.")

My focus was on my circumstances.

I focused on the negative attributes of my husband.

focused on my pain and heartache
I felt when I was sitting in the church pew alone...again. Looking around with envy at all the couples wishing my husband was next to me.

I focused on the burden of being the spiritual leader in my home. I focused on not having the spiritual under girding from him because sometimes moral support was not enough.

I focused on my children not having a godly dad. I focused on the weight of teaching and nurturing the spiritual upbringing of our children.

I focused on the pain and despair I felt when my teenage son decided not to go to church and his excuse was "Dad doesn't, so neither am I"

I focused on the fear that would well up inside of me when I faced the reality that my husband may never accept Jesus Christ as his Savior. This fear fueled my tactics of manipulation and scheming in an attempt to get my husband to see his need of a Savior! Before I knew it, I felt responsible for his salvation!!!

I focused on my loneliness and spiritual isolation.

I focused on the deep, deep heartache of not being able to share anything spiritual with my husband. Yes, I could tell him how God answered prayer or how God's word touched my heart, but he does not understand. (1 Corinthians 2:14)

I focused on the longing I had for the day we could worship and rejoice together over God's blessings to us.

All these desires and strong emotions are valid and real, but my focus was wrong. My focus had to change from my circumstances to Jesus. I was tired of being miserable. I wanted that abundant life that I read about in the Bible. I began to cry out to God and asked Him to change my heart. I asked God to help me die to self and began to consciously choose to yield and be submissive to God. This allowed me take on a submissive attitude with my husband also.

I prayed for God to renew my love and passion for my husband. I prayed for God to show me how to respect my husband when I did not feel like it or feel he deserved it. Through the power of the Holy Spirit I was able to love and serve my husband with joy, placing his needs above my own. When I am feeling frustrated, lonely or angry I cry out to my Rock and Redeemer. In Christ I can be gentle and kind, desiring to be a blessing to my man. When I fail, I ask for forgiveness and try again. 1 John 1:9, Ps 116:1-2

So, how do you deal with a husband who doesn't believe but you do? 1Peter 3: 1-4 says, "Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words, by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight."

Abiding in Christ enables a believing wife to live with and thrive in a happy marriage with her unbelieving husband. It is about a daily, sometimes minute by minute laying down of selfish ways, forgiveness, not neglecting God's word or quiet time with your Savior and being obedient to God's word- and pray, pray, pray. (John 15)

Here are some practical ways to apply God's word:

1. I am paraphrasing 1 Peter 3:1, Keep your lips zipped. Allow your actions to speak of God's love. Wait for the prompting of the Holy Spirit to use your words.

2. Read or study your bible, visit with Christian friends or teach your children godly principles when he is not around.

3. "Now I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God." 1 Cor 11:3 It is very important for your husband to know he comes BEFORE church activities and friends.

4. Take your frustration, anger, loneliness or hurt feelings to God first. Pour your heart out to Him and allow Christ to quiet your heart and heal your wounds. Then, if necessary, address the issue with your husband. (Ps 62:8)

For more encouragement, I recommend the book "Beloved Unbeliever" by Jo Berry

Do not give up hope. After 27 years of prayer my husband accepted Christ as his Savior!!!!!

Today's post is a part of the "Put Your House In Order" Series. Please visit the ladies below for more on Parenting, Decorating, Cooking and Finances!Walk with the King!

Thank you to Tammy from Tammy Labuda Photography for her photos today. Tammy is a friend from my college days at the Moody Bible Institute. She is a Wedding and Lifestyle Portait Photographer based out of Dallas, Texas and she is willing to travel to you if you need a photographer. To see more of her portraits go to Tammy Labuda Photography or "Like" her Facebook page.

So I asked a friend and woman I admire - "How do you thrive in a spiritually mismatched marriage?

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Blogger Homeschool on the Croft said...

Thankfully, this wasn't the providence God had for me, but I know many, many Christian women (and many husband too) who are with unsaved spouses. Two of my best Christian friends are in this position - they were saved after they were married and their husbands are not saved....yet. One of my husband's best friends is a Christian with an unsaved wife. It's hard, but we certainly see love and happiness in these marriages between the couples. It can be done! Let's pray for them all today....

February 7, 2011 at 6:54 AM  
Blogger Lisa Maria said...

Dear Courtney - How I loved this post. It really spoke to my heart. I, too, had those challenges early in my marriage. My husband, though baptized in our church, didn't really pursue a relationship with God. I felt like Deana in your post. I resented all the 'ungodly' things he did. I felt like a martyr because I couldn't become active in my church without his support and I did focus on the negative. Then, after 12 years of marriage, the unexpected happened, my husband fell in love with God. The roles were now reversed. Now, HE wanted me to do the extra I had wanted from him. I became resentful of the fact that he could give so much to the church and I had had to give up everything. I resented how he took for granted that he could give his time to others when he wasn't giving it to us at home. I, ashamedly admit, I was JEALOUS of his relationship with God! Incredible, isn't it? It took another 9 years, but we're finally on the same page, both looking to serve God together. Praise God for His love and mercy! Thank you for this post!

February 7, 2011 at 6:56 AM  
Blogger Mr. and Mrs. Smith said...

What a great post - thank you for sharing!!

February 7, 2011 at 7:05 AM  
Anonymous Bek said...

Oh love this post so much. My unsaved husband and I have been married for almost 11 years now. I continue to have faith that God will soften his heart but I also have all the same thoughts listed. Thank you for speaking a much needed word.

February 7, 2011 at 7:21 AM  
Anonymous Beth said...

I was wondering if I could ask your readers (and you), what do you do if you and your spouse are on disagreements as to which church to attend?

February 7, 2011 at 7:21 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you for this post...I have much of the same feelings as Deana. What an encouragement this article has been.

February 7, 2011 at 7:40 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

February 7, 2011 at 8:27 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Courtney, and all ladies, would you please pray for my sister Barbara and her husband, they've been married for over thirty years and we thought they were christians, now in the last several years he has become very verbally abusive and threatens to take her to court, he's always quoting scripture to prove his point. she often doesn't say anything to keep things from beoming worse.They have eight beautiful children with the youngest becoming 18 in March.

February 7, 2011 at 8:33 AM  
Anonymous Darla said...

Oh Courtney!!

God is using you sooo much!! This was an awesome post!! I can identify with Deanna... my first marriage lasted 19+ years and then he chose to walk away... i am now married to a godly man who loves the Lord but i catch myself with the same attitudes especially the criticizing and not respecting just because his thoughts & ways are different than mine! THANK YOU THANK YOU for this reminder and lesson I am enjoying the James study and todays verse 2:1 goes right along with this--show no partiality oh so difficult to do (at least for me)
keep up the excellent work the King is using you to minister to many sisters!! I am so thankful I found your blog

February 7, 2011 at 8:44 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

All you ladies, please pray for my sister Barbara and her husband, they've been married for over thirty years and we thought they were christians at that time. now for several years he's been very verbally abusive and threatens to take her to court for things she has no control of, using scripture to prove his point. she often doesn't say anything so things won't become worse. they have eight beautiful children the youngest will be 18 in March. what is she to do?

February 7, 2011 at 8:47 AM  
Blogger HL said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

February 7, 2011 at 9:36 AM  
Blogger Sarah said...

I appreciate so much this post. When my husband and I got married almost 8 years ago we were both Christians. After suffering greatly with his health a couple of years ago my husband decided that God was no longer relevant here on earth and has since fallen heavily into agnostic and even atheistic teachings. It has been a huge struggle for me since I desire to raise my children in the knowledge and way of God. This post has given me a new perspective on the wife that I need to be for him and the woman of God I desire to be. Thank you so much.

February 7, 2011 at 9:48 AM  
Blogger Brooke said...

I love reading stories like these. Its comforting to know that while it may not happen tomorrow, with much prayer i CAN happen.

i'm only 2 years in but covet your prayers!

February 7, 2011 at 10:18 AM  
Blogger LaToya said...

This post was wonderful. My dad was not a believer when my parents married. They were together for almost 30 years and it was such a blessing when my daddy finally accepted Christ a few weeks before he passed last year. We didn't get to experience him being involved in church and walking with the Lord on this side of Heaven but it was such a comfort to know that we'll see him again in Heaven.

February 7, 2011 at 10:43 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The post offers wonderful advice. This is a difficult situation that many people face.

How inspiring to hear that after 27 years, her husband was saved! What a wonderful article.

February 7, 2011 at 11:57 AM  
Blogger Annie said...

Thank you! I got married in the church with a willing husband over 10 years ago. I knew our faith experiences weren't the same, but I felt we would balance each other and grow together. That's happened in a lot of areas, except in church. I haven't gone to church in many years, siting as my excuse "I want it to be something we do together." And that's true, but not necessarily a good excuse. I've recently been trying to find ways to increase my faith...I've been missing it. Thank you for pointing out that I can pursue my faith with his being different.

February 7, 2011 at 11:58 AM  
Blogger Cilla said...

This is the first time that I have seen a post on Spiritually mismatched marriages - it seems to be a topic that is normally ignored - and something that I need encouragement in!! Thank you for the encouragement.

February 7, 2011 at 12:32 PM  
Anonymous Casey said...

I've been married for 34 years. Early in our marriage,my husband was thinking of becoming a minister. He brought me back to church. A few years later, he became bitter and lost his faith. He is a nonbeliever. I have felt so alone, and desperate. I am thinking of divorcing him. He has a harsh temper and I could never confide any of my thoughts or needs because he would erupt in an outrage. I can't believe God wants me to stay in a situation like this. I have tried to leave before and kept giving him another chance. I'm just so tired now. I don't know what to do. I want to follow what God wants me to do, but I feel God wants me get away from this and find peace in life somewhere else. I hope you'll pray for us. Loved this post.At least I know I'm not the only one facing this battle.

February 7, 2011 at 12:32 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Courtney ,
I love this post.I have been through the same situation.The moment I decided to change my attitude and behaviour towards my Christian husband who is a non-believer in Christ, rather than to change him,I could love him as he is -more and more.This love melted his stand.My husband slowly started to believe in Christ.He is growing now in his faith in Christ.Sometimes I wonder if He trusts in God more than me!!! Meanwhile I am learning that patience and love wins.My turbulent heart changed to a quiet and calm one now.It took about 10 years for me to understand this.

February 7, 2011 at 12:52 PM  
Blogger Mel said...

My husband was unsaved for the first 8 years of our marriage. One thing I learned was to pray but keep quiet. I never forced my beliefs on him or made him feel badly because he wasn't going to church with us. It wasn't me witnessing to him that finally brought him to saving grace, it was other men he worked with and a neighbor. I think my meekness in this area, really made him wonder what I had. We've been together for 17 1/2 years now and now enjoy a love and life based in Christ's love.

Please feel free to stop by: Trailing After God

February 7, 2011 at 1:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Courtney-Thank you for this post. It is something that is weighing heavily on my mind lately as I grow in my relationship with Christ. My husband would say that he is a believer, baptised, confirmed, and a regular church attender. While I know that he believes, I know that he does not really have a relationship with Christ-in the words of Francis Chan "Lukewarm" at best.Sometimes I feel like I am pushed into a sinful situation by trying to be submissive to my husband. We don't really agree about which movies to watch, what friends to hang out with, and what is appropriate to expose the children to. I was just wondering if you have any thoughts on how to be submissive without being sinful. Thanks so much for all you do.

February 7, 2011 at 2:06 PM  
Blogger Sam {} said...

this is so beautiful!! what an encouragement to so many women.

February 7, 2011 at 2:36 PM  
Blogger Catherine said...

Thank you so much for this post. My husband and I have been married for almost 10 years and after going through personal struggles, he decided several months ago that he doesn't believe anymore. It has been SO hard, and I have been experiencing all of those feelings Deanna wrote in the post. While it is difficult to know that I could have to endure this MUCH longer than a few months, I do have hope that he will come to know the Lord again one day. It is also encouraging to read everyone's comments. Thank you again...

February 7, 2011 at 3:10 PM  
Anonymous pinkcombatboots said...

What a beautiful and encouraging post! I'm married to a believer, but found many of the points to be just as valid for me.

And it gave me some insight into what others are working through too.


February 7, 2011 at 4:11 PM  
Blogger Juarezitos said...

I've been struggling with this for several years and this is the first article I read on the subject. Thank you so much for this post!
Much love,

February 7, 2011 at 4:16 PM  
Blogger The Gimlins said...

What an encouraging post! I too am married to an unbeliever and now that we have a son I find myself returning to some of these thoughts. I am going to post that passage from 1 Peter where I can see it daily as a reminder. My husband isn't a believer (yet), but I can still experience God's joy daily as I witness to my husband as He would have me to. Thank you!

February 7, 2011 at 7:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What an amazing post!! My husband is a Christian. When we met and married, he had a very close walk with the Lord. He was such a great example to me; a baby Christian back then. But slowly as years went by and lots of tribulation, far beyond our control, began steam rolling thru our lives, he became backslidden. Tho' I have no idea what it is like to be unequally yoked, I do feel I've gotten a true taste of it. So, I gleaned A LOT from this post! It was very encouraging. I want to be a godly example to my hubby and not lose heart that he will one day be walking closely with the Lord again.


February 7, 2011 at 8:29 PM  
Blogger D L McCarragher said...


Thank you for a great post on living in an unequally-yoked marriage. I have been married for 29 years and was saved 7 years into our marriage. It has been a difficult road over the years - but God is good and indeed gives us the strength to carry on and be a light to those in darkness. Asking God to renew the love you have for your spouse is key to seeing your mate as a gift from above, and not as a "burden to bear" or the old "martyr" syndrome.
I wrote a Christian book for women titled MISSION POSSIBLE. It gives the reader a glimpse into my marriage and quest to reach my husband for Christ.
Great blog you have Courtney. God bless...

February 7, 2011 at 8:34 PM  
Blogger Darlene Schacht said...

Beautiful post. I love it!

February 7, 2011 at 10:26 PM  
Blogger Saved by Grace said...

What an awesome post, and great encouragement to those with unbelieving husbands. I want to forward this to my Mom, my Father is not a Christian but He attends church. I know the seeds are planted and I am just waiting for that bud to crack threw the dirt and flourish. Please keep my Dad in your prayers, that He would accept Jesus Christ in His heart and that He would become his Lord and Savior. Thank you!


February 7, 2011 at 11:16 PM  
Blogger Myra @ My Blessed Life said...

Wow! What an excellent post! My heart is so convicted and encouraged and my husband is a believer.

Thank you so much Courtney and Deanna!

February 7, 2011 at 11:47 PM  
Blogger Smockity Frocks said...

What a wonderful encouragement! Doing the right thing isn't always easy, but it is always RIGHT!

February 7, 2011 at 11:56 PM  
Blogger Beverley said...

I wasnt going to read this post has i am no longer married and didnt think it applied to me. I divorced my husband 12 yrs ago but it wasnt an easy decision and life hasnt been easy since. I thought we believed the same things. We went to the same church and we appeared to walk the same road. However we cannot hide what is truely in our hearts and eventually it comes out. We were married for 12 yrs but for 8 of them years i lived in an abusive relationship, which both myself and my children continue to pay for. Attending the same church does not guarantee anything but having faith brings hope that things can be better. I still walk the same road i have always done but he, he walks a very different road.

February 8, 2011 at 4:27 AM  
Blogger Kathryn said...

What a great post! Thank you so much for sharing!

February 8, 2011 at 7:39 AM  
Blogger american girl primitives said...

Thank you so much, I needed to hear this right now. I know I have been judging too much. The author's story is just like my life. It gives me strength to know that after 27 years her husband is saved. I pray that being faithful will create the same thing in my marriage.

Thank you for posting this!

February 8, 2011 at 8:23 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow, I couldn't imagine being with a husband who doesn't believe. Although my marriage has had to deal with other issues. The children that my husband and I have LOVE God. But when it comes to my step children they don't believe in God. That can be hard as well. But we work our way through it.

February 8, 2011 at 10:18 AM  
Anonymous Lynn said...

Hi Courtney,

I want to thank you for sharing this beautiful woman's story. There are so many women who live in a spiritually mismatched marriage. They feel alone and judged by other believers, they struggle with how to honor God and their husbands. I so appreciate Deana's story. It's my story as well. It's also the passion the Lord has given me to help these women find others who are traveling this path.

We pick them up, dust them off, and we travel this crazy and mixed up journey to heaven, praying for and loving our husbands with fever. We also pray for them. Send them to us and we promise to help them see Jesus fresh and powerful in their marriages, BIG hugs, Lynn

February 8, 2011 at 10:36 AM  
Blogger suzel said...

Dear Courtney, I love this post. It spoke to my heart!!!!
Blessings from France

February 8, 2011 at 11:07 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you so much for this. My husband knows Jesus, but does not live for Him in a way that I desire for him to.... while I dig into my Bible for hours each day, listen to at least one sermon every day, and read Bible stories with my children, my husband tends to lean more toward Sunday Christianity, and it breaks my heart. This is a wonderful post not just for the wives of the unsaved, but for those of us who are married to "Sunday Christians".

February 8, 2011 at 11:44 AM  
Blogger Cafe/Angell said...

I personally have read Beloved Unbeliever, and although I think it's a pretty good book, I know of a better one.

It's by Linda Davis and it's called "How to be the Happy Wife of an Unsaved Husband."

Here's a link to Amazon:

February 8, 2011 at 4:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What a great post. It's great to apply this not only to husbands, but unbelievers in our life in general. Respect is KEY! Thanks for the post.

February 8, 2011 at 6:32 PM  
Blogger Dianne said...

Awesome and encouraging post! What a mighty God we serve!

February 8, 2011 at 7:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you for this! So needed a different perspective!

February 8, 2011 at 7:57 PM  
Anonymous Aimee said...

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you for this post! There is nothing we need more than hope the constant reminder that our Beloved is more than enough.

February 8, 2011 at 9:20 PM  
Blogger Toni said...

I lived 1Pet3:1-4 with an unbelieving spouse for several years. I came to Christ first, and actually those verses were the first time I ever heard God speak directly to me. We had had a pretty big fight (worse than an argument, actually) over my faith and his refusal. I cried out to God to SHOW me what I was to do in the midst of his unbelief. That evening, as I read my Women's devotional bible, I was instructed to read those verses. I couldn't get over the very direct answer I had received. My husband loves the Lord today, and I still marvel at God telling me what to do as I waited.

February 8, 2011 at 9:54 PM  
Blogger Raine said...

Thank you for this post. I was saved a few years into my marriage, and my husband is still unsaved. For a while, I meant through many of the things you mentioned - fear for him, as well as anger that he wouldn't just "wake up & see the truth", then the smug "superiority" of feeling like I was more spiritual, judging him and treating him with resentment instead of respect.

I was also greatly helped by the book "Beloved Unbeliever". That book helped me to see that I needed to just live my faith and accept who he was, and stop trying to force a change in him. I was finally able to put his salvation back where it belong - in God's hands, and in God's timing.

It is still hard at times, not knowing if he will ever be saved, and wishing we could be the "model" family so many others seem to be, but I can respect and appreciate him as he is now, rather than feeling burdened by things beyond my control.

February 8, 2011 at 11:17 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you so much for the encouragement!

February 9, 2011 at 5:46 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've had young women come up to me and say to me, "well, you're happily married to an unbeliever, so I could be, too." I would tell them, "Yes, I am. I love my husband and God blesses marriage, even unequally yoked ones because He created marriage, but we're not receiving the FULL blessing he gives to a couple who are one under Him completely. It's also heartbreaking to know that should something happen now, my husband is going to spend eternity separated from God."

Thankfully, after 8 years of marriage and prayer, my husband has accepted Christ. Now it is a whole new ball of wax in wifehood for me as he journeys through Christian infancy and I must also toss aside preconceived ideas as to how he should be as a Christian. I also have the responsibility as his sister in Christ now concerning spiritual things as the Lord leads!

February 9, 2011 at 9:22 AM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

Very well said. You captured well some of the painful realities of women in unequally yoked marriages and gave very sound, Biblical advice for overcoming them.

I have been married to my beloved unbeliever for over 21 years now and I can add my endorsement of Jo Berry's book as well. It is one I read recently but wish I had read earlier in my marriage. My own review is here.

February 9, 2011 at 10:07 AM  
Blogger Lisa notes... said...

This is a very enlightening post and a great encouragement. I'm thankful I'm not in that situation, but I pray this will be beneficial to help me be more understanding of those who are.

February 9, 2011 at 11:25 AM  
Blogger JD said...

One of the best posts I've read this year. Thank you so much for these precious reminders and teachings, they were just what I needed.

February 10, 2011 at 7:24 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is a great post and I agree with Deanna. I just want to point out a couple of things. One, having a joyful marriage to an unbeliever is possible but it's not permission to get married to one. Single ladies, please, let a relationship with Jesus be the top requirement for even considering dating a guy. Two, don't put up with abuse and addictions or any behaviors that put you and your children in danger in the hopes of "winning his soul". Your and your children's welfare come first. This is a lesson that, sadly, I learned the hard way.

February 12, 2011 at 2:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you so much for this post.... my husband is unsaved, grew up Catholic, and was not exposed to the Word himself much, and it's frustrating to love someone so much and not be able to share this deep part of life with each other. And yet often he is a better person than I am. We can learn lessons from each other and yet I know it's God's will that he come to know Christ. What I long for is to be pulling together toward the same goal, on the same road. And that our 3 young children would see us both united in faith as well as in our daily life. If anyone would like to pray for him, his name is Peter. :-)

February 12, 2011 at 3:07 PM  
Blogger Courtney (Women Living Well) said...

Just writing - thank you for adding your thoughts - I agree 100%!

Anonymous, saying a prayer for Peter right now.
Much Love,

February 12, 2011 at 4:41 PM  
Blogger Diane said...

I can very much relate to this post. For the first 14 years of our marriage my husband was an unbeliever. After my son turned 5 we would go to church every Wednesday and Sunday on our own. My husband's heart changed slowly over time and now is a believer and was even a deacon at our current church. God obviously answers prayers. It was a long go but we made it thorugh, it was not easy. My mother has been married to my father for 50 years and I wouldn't say that he is an unbeliever but he has never gone to church as an adult. We continue to pray for his salvation.

February 13, 2011 at 7:25 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Another great book on mismatched marriages:

"Surviving a Spiritual Mismatch in Marriage" by Lee and Leslie Strobel

February 16, 2011 at 4:53 PM  
Blogger Krista said...

Very encouraging and confirming. Thank you!

March 2, 2011 at 3:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks a lot for the post, i washed my face with tears reading it, but make me fee better knowing that i am not the only one who feels like this, after 27 years, God give wisdom and strength to run my race with grace. May God bless your family evem more.

May 19, 2011 at 11:12 AM  
Blogger Maid4Him said...

I too have been saved for about 16 years and in an unequally yoked marraige. Experienced all of those emotions but THANK GOD his word has been my guide so even though I have stumbled over and over -I confess , get back up and go on. My question is ,is it my imagination or is this subject not talked about too much in church circles? I was in a church once and wanted to form a group for support or at least be a part of it and there was great resistance to that. My understanding was that they thought it would be a big pity party or something. Sadly I think not allowing a group to be formed did more to cause us to feel isolated and discouraged. Praise God though He is faithful in everything. Still praying and believing for my unsaved husband!

May 20, 2011 at 6:14 AM  
Blogger Courtney (Women Living Well) said...

Maid4Him - I'm so sorry there's not something for you in your church. The ladies ministry in my church has a group for ladies with unsaved husbands called "Caught in the middle". Many testify that it has helped them to have this community to comfort and encourage them. I do think there's a need...pray that God changes your pastor's heart...or consider starting it yourself!

May 20, 2011 at 8:31 AM  

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