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Women Living Well Blog: June 2009

Women Living Well Blog

Monday, June 29, 2009

Tasty Tuesday: Red, White and Blue Desserts


This is a super-easy, no-cook trifle! My friend Rachel made this last summer and I have been saving the recipe for an entire year to make for this 4th of July! I am so excited to make it! Isn't it gorgeous!

Star-Spangled Triple Berry Trifle
2 pkg. angel food cake (comes in rectangles)
2 pkg. frozen mixed berries (thawed) - do not drain the juice from the bag
6-8 vanilla pudding cups
1 12oz container of cool whip
Fresh strawberries to decorate the top

1. Cut up the angel food cake into little squares

2. Layer the trifle like this...angel food cake squares, then berries with juice, then pudding, then cool whip. Do this layering twice.

3. Spread some cool whip over the top and decorate with fresh berries!

Quick and Easy - just the way I like it! Here's another simple one...


Star-Spangled Cookie Pizza (Fun for the kids!)
1 package (18 oz.) refrigerated sugar cookie dough
1/2 cup whipping cream
1 container (8 oz.) lowfat vanilla yogurt
1 pint basket (12 oz.) strawberries, stemmed and halved
1 cup blueberries
  1. Heat oven to 350 degrees F.
  2. Grease and flour bottom and side of 14-inch pizza pan. With floured hands, press cookie dough evenly onto bottom of pan.
  3. Bake in center of oven 14 to 16 minutes until golden brown.
    Run metal spatula or thin knife along edge of crust to loosen from pan; cool in pan on wire rack.
  4. In mixer bowl, beat cream to form soft peaks.
  5. Fold in yogurt to blend. If made ahead, cover and refrigerate.
  6. Just before serving, spread cream mixture evenly onto cooled crust. Arrange strawberries and blueberries decoratively over top; cut into wedges and serve immediately.

Mmmmmm...Enjoy!


Walk with the King!

www.womenlivingwell.org

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Sunday, June 28, 2009

Book Review: God's Little Princess Devotional Bible

I have fallen in love with Sheila Walsh's book titled "God's Little Princess Devotional Bible". At first glance, the pictures and colors are very appealing to little girls ages 4 to 9. Well, it's even appealing to mommy who is old hehe!

As I read this book with my daughter, I enjoyed the interaction that each short story gave us. Sheila starts by giving a scripture passage straight out of the Bible to read. Then she writes a short lesson teaching a virtue that a child/princess of God should seek to obtain. She encourages little girls to be wise with their words and to seek to know their loving and forgiving God. She encourages little girls to love and serve those in her home, her church and school.

Throughout the book she assigns activities to do such as: putting on a ring to remember that you are God's precious jewel, make a list of those you need to pray for with your mom and pray for them daily, or list things that worry you and sing the song "He's Got the whole word in his hands" and add each item to the verse as you sing.


She also has a portion where you and your child can act out stories in the Bible. For example the parable of the sower: she suggests you pretend to be a farmer and spread some seeds on the floor using m&ms. Then have your little princess pretend to be a bird and swoop them up! Then you as the mommy move to another place in the room and pretend to plant your m&ms along a weedy, thorny area - have your princess quickly swallow them up - like the weeds did to the seed...and on it goes.

Sheila does a great job of taking abstract spiritual thoughts and making them concrete for little girls to learn. I highly recommend this book and know that this is a book that my daughter is going to bring to me over and over again to read with her. Grandma's, I recommend you buy it for your grandchildren for their birthdays or Christmas (maybe include a pretty princess necklace with it so they can remember they are a child of the king). Their mommies will thank you!

Walk with the King!

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Friday, June 26, 2009

Jon and Kate Plus 8 Plus a Divorce

Jon and Kate have announced that they have seperated. I will admit that I have been watching Jon and Kate Plus 8 for a few years now. I am so sad to see this marriage fading.


But this one thing I am sure of - this marriage did not crumble in a day... it's a slow fade. I am reminded of the lyrics of Casting Crowns song "Slow Fade":


Be careful little eyes what you see
It's the second glance that ties your hands
As darkness pulls the strings
Be careful little feet where you go
For it's the little feet behind you
That are sure to follow


It's a slow fade
When you give yourself away
It's a slow fade
When black and white are turned to gray
And thoughts invade, choices are made
A price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
It's a slow fade
It's a slow fade


It appears that the show will go on - and we will see what you get when you do the equation Kate minus Jon plus 8. If you are from a broken home - you already know what this equation equals - a lot of heartache. If your marriage is crumbling today - go to God's word for direction, read some of my posts on marriage, seek Godly counsel - and then make deliberate changes to restore your marriage.


Proverbs 14:1 says "The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down."


It's a slow fade - people never crumble in a day. Go build your house today to the glory of God!









Walk with the King!

http://www.womenlivingwell.org/

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Thursday, June 25, 2009

A Lesson Learned from Chef Mesnier

Yesterday I met Chef Roland Mesnier, the retired Master Pastry Chef of the White House. He worked at the White House for 25 years and served 5 Presidents - Carter, Reagan, Bush Sr., Clinton and Bush Jr. He told stories of serving the Queens, Heads of State, Senators, Congress Men and parties where over 800 were invited for dinner at the White House. What impacted me the most about him was his desire to please each President he served. He was meticulous about every detail that left his kitchen and did it with excellence for the approval of the President and First Lady whom he served.


He spoke for nearly 3 hours (while also doing a cooking demonstration). He talked about what it was like to help little Amy Carter bake cookies. He talked about Nancy Reagan's perfectionism and how she demanded that every thing be the best. She was a difficult First Lady to please and often sent him back to the kitchen to remake dessert. Ronald Reagan was a pleasant easy going man who would tease him with his acting skills.

Then he shared about the George Bush Sr. days and how the White House was filled with grand-children and dogs and birthday parties for all the family. He baked many cakes for the family during those days.

Then the Clinton's came to the white house and the parties went from being around 120 in attendance to up to 800. He had a small kitchen and not a lot of room to store all the desserts he had to prepare over and over for the parties. He recalled serving Bill and Hillary dessert in their private residence separately during some of their marital troubles and what they particularly craved during their down days.

Then George W. Bush Jr. came to the white house along with all the children, dogs and birthday parties again. Chef Mesnier enjoyed seeing the twins all grown up and having the family back in the White House. Laura liked him to make fancy ginger bread houses at Christmas which he worked many long hours on.

It was during the Bush Jr. administration that he chose to retire after 25 years of being at the President and First Ladies beckon call. He said it was an intense job and he saw many many chefs fired over his long career for not pleasing the President and First Lady.

The chefs love for the President whom he served was so clear and as a result he strived hard to please them. Can you imagine standing in the presence of the President and what that must have been like? Do we strive like this to please the one we serve in the same way? We serve someone greater - not the President and First Lady - but the King of Kings and one day we too will stand in his presence. What is it that you offer the Almighty God?

Romans 12:1 says "Therefore, I urge you brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God - this is your spiritual act of worship."

We must make an intentional decision - a deliberate choice to change behaviors and make pleasing God our first priority. Just like weight loss - it doesn't just happen. We have to make "on purpose" life choices to pursue God and please him. One day we will stand in our King's presence. Oh how I long to hear those words, "Well done, good and faithful servant." (Matt. 25:23)

Walk with the King!

http://www.womenlivingwell.org/

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Wednesday, June 24, 2009

How To Fold a Fitted Sheet Neatly


A couple years ago I saw on Martha Stewart a GREAT way to fold my sheets. Not only is this easy - but it is also very neat and orderly in the closet!


So here's my trick on how to fold and store a sheet set neatly:


1. Fold the flat sheet and fitted sheet. (confession: often times even though I try to fold the fitted sheet flat - it almost looks like a wadded up ball! But now no one sees this!)


2. Insert it inside the pillow case!


Voila! Now it's easy to find your set all together and they look really nice and neat in the closet!

Walk with the King!

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Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Tasty Tuesday: Peanut Butter Cereal Bars

I was at my sister's house last week and she made these Peanut Butter Cereal Bars. The 7 cousins ate the whole pan in about 10 minutes flat! Kids love these and they are a healthy treat because of the cereal and peanut butter! Mmmm...mommies love them too!

Peanut Butter Cereal Bars
1 bag mini marshmallows
1/4 cup butter
1/2 cup peanut butter
4 cups cheerios
3 cups rice krispies (or omit rice krispies and and add 2 more cups of cheerios)
1 cup m&m's (best if frozen when added)
In a saucepan or microwaveble bowl, bring the marshmallows and butter to a boil. Add peanut butter, stir well, and heat for one more minute. Add the cereal to the melted mixture and stir well. Add m&m's and stir gently. (If they are not frozen, they will begin to melt quickly!) Press into greased 9X13 pan. Let it cool and serve (we cooled ours in the fridge so we could serve it quickly to the kids.)


Enjoy!

Walk with the King!

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Monday, June 22, 2009

How To Do a Word Study

There are many different ways to study the Bible. One way is to do a word study. A word study can be as deep as you choose to make it. I am going to give you the simple version but at the end I'll give you a few extra tips on how to make it deeper if you'd like.

Step #1 - Determine what you would like to know more about from God's word. It may be something you struggle with like anger, worry, fear, joy, or forgiving others. It may be a theological area you'd like to study like grace, faith, sanctification, hell or the return of Jesus. Maybe you'd like to know more about a woman in the Bible such as Eve, Mary, Esther or Ruth. Maybe you'd like to look into family matters like what God says about children, marriage, or homemaking. Whatever it is - write that down on the top of your paper.


Step #2 - Go to the green box, right here on my site, along the right hand column that says "Search the Bible". Enter in the word that you would like to search the Bible for. This will take you to another website - so read the rest of the directions before you do this step.


Step #3 - Go to the "Reference and Keyword box and again enter your search word.


Step #4 - All the verses in the Bible that contain the word you are searching for will pop up. For example there are 238 verses with the word anger in it. Now skim through those verses and write down on your paper - 10-20 of the verses that pertain to your situation or what you are looking to know more about.


Step #5 - Take the verses you wrote down on your paper and look each one up in their context to see what God has to say about the word you are studying and write down what you observe and how you can apply it.

Step #6 - Memorize the verse that speaks the most strongly to your heart.

That's the easiest way to do a word study.

If you'd like to do further study on a word - you would want to look up the definition of the word in the Greek/Hebrew. This can be done through a Concordance or Bible Dictionary. Then I like to read the verses in a couple different versions of the Bible such as New International Version, New King James Version and New American Standard Version.
Then look up further information on the verses in a commentary. My favorite commentary is Matthew Henry's Commentary. All of these tools I've mentioned are available online by going to http://www.biblestudytools.com/ This website is the most exhaustive that I have found and I've spent hours on there having lots of fun learning God's word - so check it out and enjoy!

Walk with the King!

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Friday, June 19, 2009

Recognizing Joy as a Weary Mom - Feed Back Friday

Are you a weary mom? I must confess I have many days that I am. Do you have days where you wonder - will my children ever rise and call me blessed as Proverbs 31:28 says?! Oh the children have risen me in the night with wet beds and have risen up against me in anger - but during weary days the dream being a super mom or of my children praising me fades. But then I sit and ponder the blessings of being a mom.

Have you recognized the joy of being a mom? I know one day the theme song of Sesame Street will play and my children will no longer come running. I know a day will come when I sing this little light of mine and they'll be too cool to put their finger up and sing with me. I know a day will come when spaghettios just will not do for lunch. My daughter brings me babies to feed and rock regularly and it can get in the way of what I am trying to accomplish - but someday those wore out dolls will be packed up in a trash bag and left by the street. Have I taken time to enjoy these moments that God has given me - these blessings? There has been so much joy in this season and yet at times I've been too weary to recognize it.


So weary moms - let's take time today to recognize the blessings and joys we have right now from being moms. Don't try to look ahead to better days - enjoy today! It's "Feedback Friday" - let's take a minute to build each other up and encourage each other - you are not alone! Share one thing you love about being a mom or one thing you would say to a weary mom.


And don't forget to encourage the weary dads this Father's Day!!! Daddies get tired too! I highly recommend you take the time to list 10 things you appreciate about your husband for Father's Day this Sunday. Every dad needs to hear these things. I know he'll enjoy it more than another tie!

Walk with the King!

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Thursday, June 18, 2009

Teaching Children the 10 Commandments

If someone asked you to list the 10 commandments right now - could you? Would you get 8 right? 9 right? Or all 10?


This summer we have decided to memorize one commandment a week as a family. So by the end of the summer we should have the entire 10 commandments memorized.


In the picture you'll find two tools we are using:

1. The book titled Carved In Stone by Craig Peters (my Sr. High Youth Pastor - and a graduate of my Alma mater, the Moody Bible Institute - for a copy of the book email him at Craig@m-b-c.org). This is a book written to teach children the 10 commandments. So each week, we sit down as a family and my husband reads one chapter from the book out loud. Then we memorize that one command for the week and discuss it.


2. Our Memory Verse Box - as you can see in the picture - it's a simple cheap box - that I have placed index cards in. We have used this box for over a year. It contains all the verses we have memorized in the past (plus extra cards for adding new verses) and it sits in the center of our kitchen table. Over lunch we usually review a few verses for fun. We also discuss the verses and it makes for good conversation.


Since the summer is young - we are only on commandment number 2, but already we have had a lot of great discussions about what God requires of us. If you don't have a summer plan for memory work with your kids - then why don't you start by teaching them the 10 commands? They are in Exodus chapter 20.


My elementary school librarian heard I was teaching my children the 10 commandments and she called me up and taught me this cute little jingle that moms, grandma's or Sunday school teachers can use to teach children. So I thought I would pass it on.


Sing the song to the tune of "The Farmer in the Dell" and hold up the appropriate number of fingers for that commandment.


Commandment number one, commandment number one:
There is only one God
Commandment number one.


Commandment number 2, commandment number 2:
Worship no one else but God,
Commandment number 2.


Commandment number...

3:Use God's name in special ways
4: Use Sundays to honor God
5: Respect your mother and father
6: Never kill anyone
7: Love the person you marry
8: Never steal anything
9: Don't tell lies at any time
10: Be content with what you have


And for older children, teens and adults, I found a neat finger play to teach the 10 commandments at Run Watch Play Wait - check it out here!


Walk with the King!


http://www.womenlivingwell.org/

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Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Word Filled Wednesday: Job

My mom's brother, who lives in Colorado, sent me this photo in an email along with this message: "An elk calved it's baby right by our front door yesterday!! How cool it was. After about 6 hours the mother came back and the baby was up and walking and ran out to greet "mom". Way cool to see!!"


Can you believe an elk had her baby right by their front door? That stuff just doesn't happen in Ohio!! This photo immediately made me think of Job. At the end of the book of Job, God speaks to him out of a storm to remind Job that the wisdom that directs the Creator's ways is beyond the reach of human understanding. God questions Job rhetorically to show Job his ignorance. And in the end this brings Job back around to complete faith in his Almighty God and Creator despite the terrible plight and trials he was facing.

So for Word Filled Wednesday, here is a portion of God questioning Job starting in chapter 38.

God asked Job: "Where were you when I laid the earths' foundation? Tell me, if you understand. Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know! ... Who shut up the sea behind doors when it burst forth from the womb...when I said, "this far you may come and no farther; here is where your proud waves halt."


Have you ever given orders to the morning...have the gates of death been shown to you? Have you comprehended the vast expanses of the earth? Tell me, if you know all this?


Do you know when the mountain goats give birth? Do you watch when the doe bear her fawn? Do you count the months till they bear? Do you know the time they give birth? They crouch down and bring forth their young; their labor pains are ended. Their young thrive and grow strong in the wilds; they leave and do not return...


Do you give the horse his strength or clothe his neck with a flowing mane? Do you make him leap like a locust, striking terror with his proud snorting? He laughs at fear, afraid of nothing; he does not shy away from the sword... At the blast of the trumpet he snorts, "aha!" He catches the scent of battle from afar, the shout of commanders and the battle cry.


Does the hawk take flight by your wisdom and spread his wings toward the south? Does the eagle soar at your command and build his nest on high?"


Job replied to the Lord in Job 42:2: "I know that you can do all things; no plan of yours can be thwarted."


The purpose of Word Filled Wednesday, according to 160 Acre Woods, - is to share God’s word (no famous quotes or other literature — only the beautiful word of our Father) through photo’s & a Bible verse! So though I am tempted to write more and be "devotional in nature" I will let the photo and God's word stand alone to work in your heart. If you've never read Job 38-42 it's a must read!


Walk with the King!

http://www.womenlivingwell.org/

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Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Tasty Tuesday: Homemade Salsa Recipe

My sister introduced me to this recipe about 8 years ago and now it's a summer staple in our home. If you've never homemade your salsa before - give it a try! It's fun - the kids love to help with this one!


Homemade Salsa Recipe: (I usually double and triple this recipe when I make it. It goes fast!)

1 Tomato
1 can whole tomato
1/4 onion
1/4 green pepper
3-5 sprigs of cilantro
1 garlic clove (you can substitue garlic powder)
1/4 jalapeno pepper (you can omit this)

Finely chop all of the above (I use a mini-chopper).


Then stir in:
1 tsp. vinegar
1 tsp. lemon juice
1 tsp. lime juice
Dash of salt and pepper.


Refrigerate and serve!


Walk with the King!

http://www.womenlivingwell.org/

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Monday, June 15, 2009

My Daily Encounter With Buddha

I daily encounter Buddha. My next door neighbors on both sides are friendly, kind to the children and I truly love my neighbors BUT... the man next door has built a pond with a pretty little fountain and beside the pond he has placed a rather large statue of Buddha. This statue has crossed arms, a pointy head and he happens to be a straight shot out my kitchen window - so daily I am encountering Buddha!

Normally when I look out the window I notice the birds, squirrels, flowers and sunrise. Then this Buddha statue arrived and began to taunt me each morning. I briefly discussed Buddha with the neighbor man while my children listened intently. Once inside, I read to the children out of Exodus 20 where we are given the ten commandments. Commandment #1: "You shall have no other God's before me." Commandment #2:"You shall not make for yourself an idol in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below."

Are you daily encountering a Buddha in your life? You see in America we don't think we are idol worshipers but an idol is anything you place before God. What is your idol? Could it be your children, your husband, your identity, appearance, clothes, house, car or a sport? What do you trust in more than God - could it be your family, money, or your job? What sort of sacrifices are you willing to make for your idol? Whatever is getting the most of your time and resources could potentially be your idol.

Is there something that you habitually are drawn to that controls your emotions? When the number is low on the scale you are happy. When the number is high on the scale you are sad. When the kids behave well you are happy. When the kids don't behave you are sad. When you get to go shopping you are happy. When you have to stay home you are sad. Is there something that you have built your life on that if it fails you will be destroyed. For some - getting a baby or a spouse is their savior. They seek it with all their might because they believe it will give them meaning and purpose rather than finding that in God alone.


Mark Driscoll says "we worship our way into sin, and we have to worship our way out." In many churches, we chase all the problems people have and try to help them solve their troubles in the areas of marriage, food, money, alcohol, addictions etc. but the root problem is idolatry!


Often times we create mini-idols in our life and anything that comes before God will lead us into sin. So the only escape is to turn our eyes back to God and worship him alone. If money has a grip on you - begin to give it away - break that grip. If the scale has a grip on you - throw it away. If your stomach is your god, turn to God for comfort and stop eating comfort foods - the Holy Spirit is the only true comforter. If the television has a grip on you - unplug it.


If your children have a grip on you - stop worshipping them or they will be spoiled rotten and of no kingdom use! There are stadiums filled with little gods with numbers on their backs and their parents sacrificing everything for them to be the ultimate god in their sport. If you make people your god they will be crushed under the weight of your expectations. They were not created to be our gods and cannot live up to our expectations.


Nothing in all creation should have a tighter grip on you than your hunger and thirst for our Creator. So today I urge you to take a hard look inside yourself and ask yourself - has something replaced God as my idol? That Buddha next door was taunting me - but now it just simply reminds me each day to turn from my own mini-idols and worship the one true God alone.
If you have an extra 3 minutes watch this video made by John Piper's Desiring God Ministries - it goes along perfectly with today's theme.



Walk with the King!

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Friday, June 12, 2009

5 Steps to Dealing With Bitterness Toward Your Husband

So this week I focused on respecting our husbands - but let me go one step further and say that we can give respectful lip service and appear on the outside to be very respectful toward our husbands but we must guard our hearts and minds. Guard them from what? Bitterness.


Hebrews 12:15 warns: "See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many."


Dare I admit that it was my husband who first detected my bitterness. In the midst of a heated discussion a few years ago - my mouth overflowed and he was shocked and immediately he said - you are really bitter about some things! That was a dagger in my pious heart. In my pride, I certainly was not about to admit that he was right...but when I opened up my prayer journal that night and began to pray and talk to God I was completely convicted. The Lord had used my husband to open my eyes to a poison that was eating me up - bitterness.

I am so thankful for that night when my husband put his finger on why I was in distress - it wasn't him - it was me! Proverbs 27:17 says "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another." Boy was the Lord using my man to sharpen me and to get serious about some of the negative and critical thoughts I was playing in my head very quietly for no one to hear. These thoughts gave root to bitterness. And just like the weeds in my garden that need to come out at the root or else they will be back again next week - I had to get serious and uproot these thoughts. So here's what I did.

1. I Confessed my sin to God and my husband.


2. I put a plan in place. I put a filter on my thoughts - my filter is Philippians 4:8. I already had it memorized but I needed to start using it to frisk all the thoughts about my husband at the door of my mind. It reads: "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy think about such things."

3. When I have a critical, negative, bitter thought I ask myself - "is this a noble thought? Is this pure? Is this lovely? Admirable? Praiseworthy?" If it is not - I must do what 2 Corinthians 10:5 says "Take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." I must make my mind obedient to Christ. Soooo...


4. Eject - do not let those thoughts swirl in your head because eventually everyone in the family can see it in your demeanor, your lack of joy, and even in your words - though you may think you are hiding it. Replace those thoughts with thankful thoughts full of grace.


5. Forgive your husband and pray - ask the Lord to give you eyes to see your husband as he sees him.


This is not something that will happen overnight - it's a life long journey of guarding your mind and your marriage. The enemy would LOVE to get a foothold using bitterness - so beware - and put Philippians 4:8 as a filter over your mind. Be free from bitterness!


Walk with the King!


http://www.womenlivingwell.org/

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Thursday, June 11, 2009

Thrifty Thursday: Get John McArthur's newest book - FREE!

I am so excited to share with you these fun freebies!


John McArthur has a brand new book about to be released and you can have it for free simply by going to his website here and signing up for his mailing list. When you sign up you will automatically receive a copy of "The Jesus You Can't Ignore". This book retails for $22.99!


I also discovered on Money Saving Mom a Free download of a Future Christian Homemaker's Handbook. It's all about how to teach your daughter homemaking skills and it normally retails for $29.95 but you can view it and print it for free here!


Walk with the King!


http://www.womenlivingwell.org/

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Respecting Your Husband's Weaknesses



Monday I wrote: "Ephesians 5:33 says,"However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband."

In other words, a wife needs to feel love and a husband needs to feel respect. Consequently... Without love she reacts without respect, and without respect he reacts without
love."

I received an excellent question from a reader, in regards to Monday's post. One wife asked: "How do I respect the areas where my husband struggles?" For this wife it is in the area of finances. For you it may be in another area such as parenting, differences in goals, likes and dislikes, too much time spent on sports and hobbies, mother-in-law troubles or his lack of helpfulness around the house. And this is just to name a few - there are many other serious issues and addictions that often require intervention.

None of us are married to a perfect man - they are all flawed - just as we wives are all flawed - simply because we are all sinners. In most sitcoms, the husband is the brunt of jokes - he is stupid while the wife knows it all and runs the house. This may be culturally acceptable - but it is NOT acceptable to God.

God has placed an order in our homes according to Ephesians 5 and the man is the head of the home and is to be respected in that role. Since this order is God ordained - when a wife bucks the system and disrespects her husband, her problem is not with her husband but with God. Does she trust God enough to take care of her? Is she willing to quietly pray about the problem she is having with her husband and give God room to work in her husband's heart? Is she willing to support her husband fully as his helpmate and make it safe for him to make a mistake and ask for help - or does he fear his wife's harsh tongue when he fails - and therefore, not feel safe to ask for help?

Often times we disrespect our husbands out of selfishness - we are not getting our way or what we want and so we go the route of criticizing, crying or pouting. You see, we as women think it is okay to cry in a fight but it is not okay for the man to get angry. We think he's not controlling himself and judge him for it. But why is it that women tend to cry and men tend to get angry? Because crying is often the result of a woman feeling unloved and anger is often the result of a man feeling disrespected. We provoke our husband's anger when we are disrespectful.



If you are not able to communicate respectfully with your husband about an area that you are concerned, then you should wait to communicate with him about it until you can. This takes patience, prayer, and emotional maturity. Otherwise, your husband will feel the need to pull back from you and disconnect. Then you will cry and tell him how unloved you feel. But in reality, you have poked him in the eye and now you are crying and begging him to see you and your pain. But he won't be able to see past his own pain.

When we are faced with our husband's weaknesses, much about our maturity is revealed. Your husband should not have to earn your respect just as you would not want him to make you earn his love. Our spiritual maturity and emotional maturity are tested.


So if you have failed to be respectful - go and make things right with God and then your husband - apologize and begin your journey towards doing what is right. You will need to trust in God to give you the strength to bite your tongue till it bleeds if you must - as you wrestle with self-control! In time, you will find an overwhelming sense of peace that the Holy Spirit will bring you as you walk yielded to the Spirit. (In regards to more serious matters of infidelity and addictions I suggest that you talk to a trusted elder or pastor.) So I encourage you today, go and give your husband what he so desperately needs - respect - and watch your marriage bloom.

These may have been some very hard words to hear for some of you - but they are God's truth and the truth will set you free. I am praying for all of my readers today - that this truth will fall on soft hearts. Marriage in America is in jeopardy - Christian marriages need to be a light to the world! When you follow God's plan for marriage you will be different and your light will shine for the whole world to see! Go let your light shine and live well!!!


Walk with the King!


http://www.womenlivingwell.org/

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Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Tasty Tuesday - Hawaiian Meatloaf

This is a great summer meatloaf that I've been serving since our first year of marriage (almost 12 years ago)! This is definately a favorite in our house!

Hawaiian Meatloaf (can also be made into meatballs)
1 lb ground beef
1 egg
1/3 of a can of crushed pineapple (or tidbits if you aren't trying to hide them from the children like I am! :-) , Drain and save the juice
1 tbsp. chopped onion
2 tbsp. of pineapple juice
1/3 cup of breadcrumbs
1 tsp. of salt

Mix it all together. Bake it in the oven at 350 for 1 1/4 hours.

Hawaiian Meatloaf Sauce:
1/2 cup of pinapple juice (or as much as you can get from the can)
1/2 cup of brown sugar
1/2 cup of ketchup
Mix and warm on the stove-top over medium heat and ladle over each serving. Enjoy!


I received a good question from a reader, in regards to Monday's post about respecting our husbands. "How do I respect the areas where my husband struggles?" Come back tomorrow for the answer.
And find more recipes here:

Walk with the King!

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Monday, June 8, 2009

Why Marriage is Difficult

I found my son's tank in my daughter's room - she had decorated it with heart stickers and I had to laugh at the irony! I had to laugh at the obvious difference between my little girl and my little boy.

We were at Chuck E Cheese over the weekend and they had a slow moving carousel with 4 little horses. My little girl chose a horse, climbed aboard and rode with smiles the whole ride through. Do you know what the other three boys did? They rode backwards, hung from the side poles and jumped on and off of the ride the entire time. I had to laugh again at the difference between little girls and boys.

When I flip through a toy catalog it is obvious how different God made boys from girls - the girl toys include doll houses, barbies, princess dresses, pretty ponies and pretend baking items. For boys there are transformers, spidermen, Nerf guns, swords, planes and trains.

Why is marriage difficult? Because God made men and women differently! And then we come together and rub each other the wrong way - we can either choose to respect and love each others differences or... fight. And then how we handle that conflict will determine whether there is peace, joy and unity in your marriage or contempt, bitterness and isolation.

Dr. Emmerson Eggerich says in his book Love and Respect the secret to surviving is this communication code:

1. Love is her deepest need and respect is his deepest need. (Do you believe this? You may already have your doubts this is true - but this is not man's psychology - this is God's truth.) I believe this based on the Bible. Ephesians 5:33 says,"However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband." In other words, a wife needs to feel love and a husband needs to feel respect. Consequently...

2. Without love she reacts without respect, and without respect he reacts without love.

And when this happens marriage becomes very difficult. So if you are struggling today in your marriage, I recommend you follow the guidelines that God created and give your husband unconditional respect. God does not say that your husband needs to first earn it - but simply that the wife is to give it up willingly.


As you willingly give your husband what he so desperately needs - respect, you will find God cleansing your heart of contempt and bitterness and you will be lovely in your husband's eyes. As you radiate the beauty of a respectful wife - in most cases (not all) the husband will begin to feel safe to draw near to you in loving kindness. Then you will find your difficult marriage fading away.


Walk with the King!

http://www.womenlivingwell.org/

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Friday, June 5, 2009

Today Is National Donut Day!

I was planning on taking today as a vacation day but instead I'll do a "Freebie Friday!" I just discovered that today is National Donut Day and Dunkin' Donuts and Krispy Creme are both giving away free donuts to celebrate. So go get your free donuts and have a wonderful Friday! You may want to call ahead to be sure your donut shop is participating before you tell the kids!




Walk with the King!





http://www.womenlivingwell.org/

Thursday, June 4, 2009

The Duggars Top 5 Parenting Tips

On the Duggars website they have posted their top 5 parenting tips - here they are for you:


1. Teach our children to love God with all of their heart, soul, mind and strength, and memorize God’s word together as a family.


2. Teach them to have a servant’s heart, leading by your example. Love your neighbor as yourself.


3. Daily read the Proverb of the Day that corresponds with the day of the month and discuss it as a family.


4.Diligently keep up with each child’s attitudes and actions and ask what is going on in their heart. Pray with them one on one letting them lead in prayer and then you closing the prayer time together.

5. Ask God to help you conquer anger because it can destroy your relationship with your children. Praise them ten times more than you correct them.


I have latched onto tip number 5 - "Ask God to help you conquer your anger because it can destroy your relationship". In their book Michelle says - anger shows your worst side. And often times when we have angry outbursts our anger is worse than what the child has actually done! Michelle follows Proverbs 15:1 "A gentle answer turns away wrath but a harsh word stirs up anger." She says when she feels angry, she lowers her voice rather than raises it and will sometimes take it to almost a whisper! Now that's self-control at it's best!


So you are thinking - my kids will walk all over me. Nope - I've been working on gentleness for a while now and I must say I feel much better about myself as a mother - and the children are responding. Michelle is right - anger will destroy your relationship with your children. On days when I find myself yelling - I feel guilty and like a failure as a mom. But when I apply Proverbs 15:1 - I find this principle bringing peace into our home.


Tip number 5 also says "praise them 10 times more than you correct them." Ten times more? That's a lot I've discovered - cause guess what? I've been counting to see what I do exactly and well - I do praise my children - BUT I feel like I am always saying "keep your hands to yourself, that's not nice, watch your words, don't take that from her, don't give me attitude, walk slowly, be gentle, look at me when I am talking, that's not kind, take care of your toys, don't make a mess" and on and on the correction list goes.


The Duggars try their best to not say "don't don't don't". Instead they work hard focusing on the behavior they expect. They compliment every little positive thing they see. They praise their children when they demonstrate diligence, thoroughness, punctuality, patience, compassion, orderliness, generosity, and other Christlike qualities.

My children are often punctual - yet I rarely praise them for that. Often they are thorough and I just say "great job" rather than "great job being so thorough". When they put their shoes in the wrong place I correct them but when they are in the right place I say nothing - when I could say "thanks for putting your shoes in the correct place and being so orderly."


I've been looking for virtues to praise my children for in hopes that some of their vices will shrink. So last month, I focused on the area of gentleness in my home. And this month, I am adding to my gentleness, words of praise for Christlike qualities.

Join me today in dealing with your children gently, praying for them, and praising them for the behaviors we want to see grow and blossom in their lives. If we don't encourage our children who will? If we don't lovingly and gently correct them who will? If we don't pray for them who will?


Walk with the King!

http://www.womenlivingwell.org/

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Wednesday, June 3, 2009

I Met Michelle Duggar!!!!!

Something VERY exciting happened Monday night - I met Michelle Duggar!!! Woohoo!!! I wanted to stand at my seat and cheer but I restrained myself hehe! Do you know the Duggars? They have a television show on TLC called "18 Kids and Counting." They have 18 beautiful children who sang, played violin, piano and recited Ephesians 6:10-20 (with hand motions) for the large audience. Their presence as a family 20 strong spoke volumes. What a powerful testimony of how God is faithful in blessing a family who is completely surrendered to God.


Michelle GLOWED! She really does - she literally overflows with a passion for Jesus. Jesus was the topic of the evening - NOT parenting, homeschooling, or homemaking. Now I must admit - I went hoping to get some parenting and homemaking tips. So, for a moment I was disappointed - but today I am not. Because she left me with something greater - a resolve to trust more in Jesus' grace for my daily tasks.

If you want to know - how in the world does Michelle do it all with 18 kids? The answer is Jesus' grace! Michelle shared her life verse - 2 Corinthians 12:9 "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me."


Michelle shared the story of one night long ago when she had the first 7 children - she was up past 1AM doing laundry and she began to cry. She was overwhelmed with the diapers, dishes, laundry, meals, cleanup, corrections, school lessons, baths, hugs, kisses, and the list went on. It was at that moment that she cried out to God "Lord, I need your help, I can't do it all!"


Do you feel like that somedays? I know I do and I only have 2 children - which is humbling! But I see her now, many years later standing with her sweet husband and 18 children - and through God's grace he has given her the strength to do the work He has given her to do. She said, "God will not call you to do, what he does not give you the grace to do."

That one sentence resonates in the depths of my soul. "God will not call you to do, what he does not give you the grace to do." God has not called me to the same tasks as Michelle - I do not have 18 children or a television show. But God has entrusted 2 little ones, a husband, a home, a ministry, and a few other things into my hands. Do you feel overwhelmed as Michelle once did? Take heart, I saw with my own eyes Monday night - It IS possible with God's grace to do marriage, motherhood and ministry well!

I must applaud the Duggars for their willingness to open their home for all of us to see on television. They do not claim to be perfect, as they humbly said, "We don't know all the answers but we know the One who does." I see the fear of the Lord in their lives and I want to follow in their footsteps - (not to have 18 children but) - see my children as a reward and blessing as they do, to speak gently to my husband and children, to spread the truth and love of Jesus with the world, and to trust in God's grace to help me do the work that God has called me to do.

George Washington Carver said, "When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world." The Duggars do just that! Let's follow in their footsteps as we live out Matthew 5:16 in our lives. "Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven."


Tomorrow I will blog more on the Duggars and some of the things I learned from their new book titled: The Duggars: 20 and Counting.


Walk with the King!

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