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Women Living Well Blog: Jon and Kate Plus 8 Plus a Divorce

Women Living Well Blog

Friday, June 26, 2009

Jon and Kate Plus 8 Plus a Divorce

Jon and Kate have announced that they have seperated. I will admit that I have been watching Jon and Kate Plus 8 for a few years now. I am so sad to see this marriage fading.

But this one thing I am sure of - this marriage did not crumble in a day... it's a slow fade. I am reminded of the lyrics of Casting Crowns song "Slow Fade":

Be careful little eyes what you see
It's the second glance that ties your hands
As darkness pulls the strings
Be careful little feet where you go
For it's the little feet behind you
That are sure to follow

It's a slow fade
When you give yourself away
It's a slow fade
When black and white are turned to gray
And thoughts invade, choices are made
A price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
It's a slow fade
It's a slow fade

It appears that the show will go on - and we will see what you get when you do the equation Kate minus Jon plus 8. If you are from a broken home - you already know what this equation equals - a lot of heartache. If your marriage is crumbling today - go to God's word for direction, read some of my posts on marriage, seek Godly counsel - and then make deliberate changes to restore your marriage.

Proverbs 14:1 says "The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down."

It's a slow fade - people never crumble in a day. Go build your house today to the glory of God!

Walk with the King!



Blogger Morgan said...

It's very sad. I still hope they can work things out, but the way the media is portraying it, a reconciliation doesn't look likely. : (

June 26, 2009 at 8:15 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Very powerful post. I’d never heard of Jon and Kate till a few wks ago when their names started hitting the internet news, but my heart is so sad for them and their kids. What a powerful song by Casting Crowns and a sobering reminder to be building our marriages!!!!
Kyiv, Ukraine

June 26, 2009 at 9:23 AM  
Blogger Clare said...

How ironic that you wrote this song in conjunction with Jon & Kate as I've been meaning to write a Facebook Status (lame, I know) regarding these same two things!! That's the first thing I thought when I'd watch this show this past season..'marriages don't crumble in a day...'

Thanks for the reminder. Oddly enough, the show was enough of a reminder to me to sharpen my marriage. Funny how things work.

June 26, 2009 at 9:26 AM  
Anonymous Kristi said...

Great post, Courtney - I've never seen the show, but I was watching a TV Guide recap of what's been going on the other day and was SHOCKED at how she spoke to him! It definitely doesn't justify an affair, but we women can surely destroy our husbands and our homes with our disrespect and harsh words.

June 26, 2009 at 9:31 AM  
Blogger April said...

Thanks, Courtney, for this message. My heart has been broken over this for their children and them as well. I have been praying that God would restore their marriage for the sake of the children and also because I hate to see Satan have another victory!! There is an awesome book titled "Love and Respect", by Emerson Eggerich, and it gives a wonderful perspective on how a wife needs to treat her husband. With respect.

June 26, 2009 at 11:09 AM  
Blogger kimmy said...

I liked the show as well for the same reasons (mostly I liked watching the kids and how much fun they seemed to have with them despite the craziness) but it did always bother me how she spoke to him and I started thinking that maybe she didnt realize how bad it sounded and maybe I dont realize how mean and disrespectful I sound to my husband and child. I'm sure if I watched a video of my everyday life and how I sounded I would not be proud....I pray that they will both be open to counseling and their eyes would be opened when they watch themselves and truly see how they hurt each other....sooo sad for everyone! I cant imagine how awful it must be to have this so public and scrutinized but its been a great reminder for so many to work on their marriage.

June 26, 2009 at 12:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is disappointing, as this post is adding to gossip and is mostly speculation. One side is seen, and really it is no one's business. Reality tv is not innocent tv watching. I'm pretty sure if you are really feeling pain for these children, your time could be better spent praying for them and not diving in on the dish.

June 26, 2009 at 2:37 PM  
Blogger Courtney said...

Dear anonymous,

I was hesitant in blogging about this family - I knew that someone would be offended - but it was worth the risk to make the point clear that marriages are crumbling and it doesn't just happen overnight.

This blog is less about Jon and Kate and more about how their marriage did not crumble in one day was a slow fade. NO ONE is immune from the slow fade.

In our culture - divorce is rampant - we see it everywhere and Jon and Kate just happen to be a perfect example - who will stand up for truth and God's plan for marriage if we don't?

I want to fight for marriages - I want to see them growing and thriving.

I want to be there to point to Jesus and his word and say - here - this is truth - don't buy what the world says about how marriage ought to be. Don't let the slow fade happen to you! Don't let your marriage crumble - fight for it!

So anonymous - I pray for marriages everywhere - including yours and mine and Jon and Kate's - that God would restore the broken places and be glorified by them.

And I will continue to point out the things in our culture that do not line up with God's word simply because black and white has turned to grey and God's word is not grey.

Much Love,

June 26, 2009 at 5:11 PM  
Blogger Melinda said...

Nice analysis ... I never was really able to get into Jon & Kate because of Kate's sharpness toward Jon. It just made me uncomfortable when I watched it.

I do think we as wives have to be so careful with our tongues. In the early years of my marriage, I used to be very good at speaking my mind often. And loudly. And it did not do good things for my marriage.

I find when I choose my words carefully and pray alot about what battles to choose, it has made such a difference. And he's far more receptive and loving as a result.

I do hope Jon & Kate eventually allow God to heal their relationship. He certainly can do it! ;0)

June 26, 2009 at 6:56 PM  
Blogger Miss Eve said...

Just stopping by and wishing you a wonderful weekend dear Courtney...I never heard about this couple (I guess it's a tv show in the USA) but I think relationships are always a mystery for outsiders...We probably will never know what is the real reason of they separation...

June 27, 2009 at 5:16 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

June 28, 2009 at 11:28 PM  
Blogger Courtney said...

Dear Anonymous,

Thank you again for sharing your thoughts but my comment section is not a debate forum. I respect your first comment and welcome differences of opinion and your second comment had some good points.

I am a flawed person NO doubt and I readily admit that. If you read my blog long enough you will surely be able to see even more flaws in me.

So please do not feel compelled to read on - you are free to read elsewhere. Your voice has been heard (and deleted now twice - please do not repost your comment a third time) and rather if you have anything further to say please email me privately and with a name. It's easy to sling mud anonymously. But again - I have no defense - I openly admit I am a sinner in need of Jesus' forgiveness and I am in no way close to perfect.

My blog will stand because I disagree with you - but I am sorry for offending you and hope you will forgive me. My intent is not malicious.

Very flawed but forgiven,

June 29, 2009 at 4:00 AM  
Blogger daningo said...

So sad. I use to watch and love the show. When all this media stuff started coming out I made the decision to stop watching. I haven't seen any of the new episodes and I even e-mailed TLC telling them I was boycotting their channel. I said that this was painful for these children and filming should stop. I wish this precious family should try and work things out. So sad!

June 30, 2009 at 8:39 AM  
Anonymous pattie said...

i also think that kate was to harse with the way she asked jon and told jon to do things for her and the kids. she very realy said anything nicely. she thought she was queen and no one could get in her space in the kitchen. she made jon bath the kids when they were little why didn't she? i like jon think he is a nice husband and a very good father.
i think someone should watch the money in that family and make sure the kids are taken care of today tomorrow and alway for what they have already done during the last 8 years on tv shows. if it wasnt for them the show wouldn't be here.
hope there is a law for the kids.
someone has to watch cause kate is bad why do we nt see her family or friends she pushes them away or is to demanding.o well just my thoughts pattie

June 30, 2009 at 9:31 AM  
Anonymous Jen said...

Hey Courtney,
Have been reading your blog for about 2 mos. and love it! It has challenged me as a wife and mom. I decided to bring your post to my bible study for moms this morning for their opinions. All (8) of them thought that parts of this is gossip. I don't think that is your goal, though. At the same time, you encourage us to walk I mention this. Please don't wig out on me, too. :) Made your cereal bars and they were great. Keep up the challenges!

June 30, 2009 at 11:11 AM  
Blogger anon said...

Hi-I am here for the first time from Beauty and Bedlam and Tasty Tuesday. I ejoy finding new blogs with great cooks. Your recipe looks fabulous-can't wait to try it. Is this a Christian blog? I ask because I too am shocked by this topic. Will read on before becoming a follower...maybe I'm just missing something.

June 30, 2009 at 11:27 AM  
Blogger Mom24Blessings said...

Great post Courtney on a difficult subject. America seems to be obsessed with Jon and Kate right now!

Jen, I am confused....if you are concerned about this post being gossip why would you bring it to 8 other women in a "bible study" and ask if they thought it was gossip!?!
Isn't that just gossiping?

June 30, 2009 at 4:26 PM  
Blogger Saelynriel said...

Please don't be too narrow-minded. Jen could have brought the post to her bible study in order to share a Godly woman's views on the world. Jen never said she ASKED the 8 women if it was gossip, they might have said that on their own. You assume that it happened one way. Please read more carefully before you criticize others.

June 30, 2009 at 8:18 PM  
Blogger Mom24Blessings said...


This quote from Jen seemed to make her intentions clear-at least in my opinion. "I decided to bring your post to my bible study for moms this morning for their opinions. All (8) of them thought that parts of this is gossip."

The hard thing about this is you don't know me and I don't know you and now we have offended one another. My intention wasn't to offend you or Jen. If it was a genuine concern then maybe a private e-mail would have been more appropriate than posting it publicly. Sorry to have come across as critical=) Jon and Kate isn't really a hill to die on but questioning someone integrity is.

June 30, 2009 at 8:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jen - I took your comments to 8 of MY friends and they said YOU were gossiping

June 30, 2009 at 9:49 PM  
Blogger Diana said...

Wow, I'm late coming into this one. I've never seen the show...Sad how it seems many missed the point of what Courtney wrote. Marriages are precious, they are under attack- by the evil one, by our own selfish sinful desires and the pull of the cares of the world. Not to beat a dead horse, but "none of us are immune"! Kimmy I believe you were so genuine in being open to admit that you too (as we all do) struggle in watching your tongue at times, and I so appreciated your transparency! I feel it was obvious that this is not for GOSSIP, but rather a wake up call that we all need and must admit that we can all identify with aspects of what happened in their marriage. We need to be on guard. Anyone who knows the writer of this blog knows that her care for marriage and family and the furthing of the Gospel is the heartbeat of who she is. Let's all try to build one another up more, life is hard enough! Sincerely,

July 1, 2009 at 12:07 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well-said Diana-but the point can be discussed without gossip, which is sin. Jen-this is a good topic to mention in a women's bible study, because some people do gossip, and do not understand what they are doing. Even if it is not deliberate, sometimes we need to verify what we say (or what we read) with others.

July 1, 2009 at 10:12 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nice revision. You go girl!

July 7, 2009 at 11:09 AM  

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