The Duggars Top 5 Parenting Tips

On the Duggars website they have posted their top 5 parenting tips - here they are for you:

1. Teach our children to love God with all of their heart, soul, mind and strength, and memorize God’s word together as a family.

2. Teach them to have a servant’s heart, leading by your example. Love your neighbor as yourself.


3. Daily read the Proverb of the Day that corresponds with the day of the month and discuss it as a family.

4.Diligently keep up with each child’s attitudes and actions and ask what is going on in their heart. Pray with them one on one letting them lead in prayer and then you closing the prayer time together.

5. Ask God to help you conquer anger because it can destroy your relationship with your children. Praise them ten times more than you correct them.

I have latched onto tip number 5 - "Ask God to help you conquer your anger because it can destroy your relationship". In their book Michelle says - anger shows your worst side. And often times when we have angry outbursts our anger is worse than what the child has actually done! Michelle follows Proverbs 15:1 "A gentle answer turns away wrath but a harsh word stirs up anger." She says when she feels angry, she lowers her voice rather than raises it and will sometimes take it to almost a whisper! Now that's self-control at it's best!

So you are thinking - my kids will walk all over me. Nope - I've been working on gentleness for a while now and I must say I feel much better about myself as a mother - and the children are responding. Michelle is right - anger will destroy your relationship with your children. On days when I find myself yelling - I feel guilty and like a failure as a mom. But when I apply Proverbs 15:1 - I find this principle bringing peace into our home.

Tip number 5 also says "praise them 10 times more than you correct them." Ten times more? That's a lot I've discovered - cause guess what? I've been counting to see what I do exactly and well - I do praise my children - BUT I feel like I am always saying "keep your hands to yourself, that's not nice, watch your words, don't take that from her, don't give me attitude, walk slowly, be gentle, look at me when I am talking, that's not kind, take care of your toys, don't make a mess" and on and on the correction list goes.

The Duggars try their best to not say "don't don't don't". Instead they work hard focusing on the behavior they expect. They compliment every little positive thing they see. They praise their children when they demonstrate diligence, thoroughness, punctuality, patience, compassion, orderliness, generosity, and other Christlike qualities.

My children are often punctual - yet I rarely praise them for that. Often they are thorough and I just say "great job" rather than "great job being so thorough". When they put their shoes in the wrong place I correct them but when they are in the right place I say nothing - when I could say "thanks for putting your shoes in the correct place and being so orderly."

I've been looking for virtues to praise my children for in hopes that some of their vices will shrink. So last month, I focused on the area of gentleness in my home. And this month, I am adding to my gentleness, words of praise for Christlike qualities.

Join me today in dealing with your children gently, praying for them, and praising them for the behaviors we want to see grow and blossom in their lives. If we don't encourage our children who will? If we don't lovingly and gently correct them who will? If we don't pray for them who will?

Walk with the King!

http://www.womenlivingwell.org/