Why Marriage is Difficult

I found my son's tank in my daughter's room - she had decorated it with heart stickers and I had to laugh at the irony! I had to laugh at the obvious difference between my little girl and my little boy.

We were at Chuck E Cheese over the weekend and they had a slow moving carousel with 4 little horses. My little girl chose a horse, climbed aboard and rode with smiles the whole ride through. Do you know what the other three boys did? They rode backwards, hung from the side poles and jumped on and off of the ride the entire time. I had to laugh again at the difference between little girls and boys.

When I flip through a toy catalog it is obvious how different God made boys from girls - the girl toys include doll houses, barbies, princess dresses, pretty ponies and pretend baking items. For boys there are transformers, spidermen, Nerf guns, swords, planes and trains.

Why is marriage difficult? Because God made men and women differently! And then we come together and rub each other the wrong way - we can either choose to respect and love each others differences or... fight. And then how we handle that conflict will determine whether there is peace, joy and unity in your marriage or contempt, bitterness and isolation.

Dr. Emmerson Eggerich says in his book Love and Respect the secret to surviving is this communication code:

1. Love is her deepest need and respect is his deepest need. (Do you believe this? You may already have your doubts this is true - but this is not man's psychology - this is God's truth.) I believe this based on the Bible. Ephesians 5:33 says,"However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband." In other words, a wife needs to feel love and a husband needs to feel respect. Consequently...

2. Without love she reacts without respect, and without respect he reacts without love.

And when this happens marriage becomes very difficult. So if you are struggling today in your marriage, I recommend you follow the guidelines that God created and give your husband unconditional respect. God does not say that your husband needs to first earn it - but simply that the wife is to give it up willingly.

As you willingly give your husband what he so desperately needs - respect, you will find God cleansing your heart of contempt and bitterness and you will be lovely in your husband's eyes. As you radiate the beauty of a respectful wife - in most cases (not all) the husband will begin to feel safe to draw near to you in loving kindness. Then you will find your difficult marriage fading away.


Walk with the King!

http://www.womenlivingwell.org/