How To Truly Hug Your Children

“A hug is an exchange

of two hearts entwined for

one precious moment in time.”

~ Darlene Schacht

Darlene from Time Warp Wife is a guest here today!  She writes:


Since we found out that my dad was sick with cancer this past year, I won’t leave the house without hugging and kissing my parents. I have come to realize that every minute I have with them is a gift from God. Every hug, every word, every kiss—all gifts that I tuck into the treasure chest of my heart. I cherish their wisdom, their loving kindness, and yes—their touch.




We all need physical contact–numerous studies have proved that, and common sense confirms it to be true.




“Verbal and physical affection enable a child to learn morality. When loving parents teach morality and impulse control children listen. Physical affection turns children into sponges ready to absorb the lessons parents teach. Teens also need hugs and praise.” Liane J. Leedom, M.D. Mother, Author, Psychiatrist.



We all know the benefits of hugging our children, but how many of us are hugging them to the fullest?



My mother is 78-years-old, and for the first time this month, I have felt a hug from her unlike any I’ve ever experienced before. Same goes for my husband. I’ve started receiving hugs from him that not only remind me of how much he loves me, they tell me he doesn’t want to let go.



For years my parents have been doing the “pat.” In fact, my teen-aged son had started doing the “pat” too in recent years, until I pointed out to him that a pat could never hold the same potential that a genuine embrace can. It is now a topic of humor in our family, but nevertheless the hugs have improved immensely.



Since I’m a self-proclaimed “self-help junkie,” it’s no surprise to anyone that I have a book on body language. I picked it up last summer and thumbed through it on our holidays.



In The Power of Body Language, author Tonya Reiman writes, “[The pat] is the universal signal for, ‘OK, the hug is coming to a close now.’”



The pat is commonly used for social hugging, and it can also indicate that a hugger is uncomfortable and wants to let go.



A hug is an exchange of two hearts entwined for one precious moment in time. It’s a warm embrace that reminds you you’re loved. It’s a squeeze that tells children they are secure in your arms. It’s being held close by a gesture that signifies, “You are cherished and loved.”




In an article titled, “Soaking Up More than Spilled Milk,” author Ann Voskamp writes, “So I do it. I grab the angriest, messiest heart and hold it close. A wonder! Every single time you can feel it right through you, that potency of touch. It’s how Jesus healed the leper, the blind men, the deaf and dumb man, the mother-in-law of Peter. He absorbed the sin with a lingering, intentional touch.”



A genuine hug entails an


intentional, lingering, and deliberate


touch that sews their heart with yours.


Linger a while longer, embrace with intention, and let your hearts mingle before you let go.

You are loved by an almighty God,

Darlene

Find me blogging daily at Time-Warp Wife

and on Twitter @darleneschacht

This post is linked to: Titus 2sdays, We Are That Family and Raising Homemakers.

Summer Boredom Busters For Kids

The Boredom Buster Jar!

I was so excited to discover on Smockity Frocks this link to The Happy Housewife with a free download of ideas for when your children are bored!!!

We printed out the download, my son cut the pieces and folded them and now our jar is ready to go!  The next time they say they are bored - they will choose an idea from the jar and that is what they will do for the next 30 minutes!


Busy hands and busy minds keep children out of trouble!


Here's what else we've been up to - and some ideas if you are looking for something to do.  Take note: there are NO crafts...I'm terrible at crafts.  I feel badly about this - just being honest.  If you are a crafty mom - I think my daughter would like to move in with you lol!

Washing Bikes


 


Our very fancy backyard pool lol!  I told my husband when I lay on that raft and close my eyes - I can't even tell that I'm not in some huge fancy in ground pool!  I love this!  And it's fun to spin the kids on too!

Making bouquets from the flowers around our house!

A trip in a small airplane.

School work at Starbucks!

The zoo! I love looking at God's creation - so do the children!

Our Doodle books! These are SO much fun!

Doodling outside!

The slip and slide!

Nerf Gun Wars

Play dates - these are the sweet mamas!  You might recognize Janelle from Comfy In The Kitchen on the far right!

Friends lined up to go down the slip-n-slide!

Summer Vacation Bible School (this is a picture from last year - we'll be headed here in July!)

The Library and reading outside!  This is my favorite!

Some have asked if we are doing any summer school.  We are taking the month of June off and then in July we'll be focusing on the basics: Reading, Writing, and Arithmetic.  We are reading library books and the Bible.  We are writing in our journals and writing out verses.  And we'll be doing some flash cards for math. 

Have a GREAT summer with your kids!  Remember how quickly it goes - savor the moments and enjoy your children!  And if you need some encouragement on the topic of Motherhood, we are currently in the midst of a series over on GoodMorningGirls.org where 3 times a week we have posts up to encourage moms in their Ministry of Motherhood.


Please feel free to share in the comment section some of your boredom busters! 

Walk with the King!

This post is linked to Titus 2sdays, We Are That Family and Raising Homemakers.

Today is Women Living Well Wednesday! It's a Link-Up Day!!!

Join the fun, do a little blog hopping and don't forget if you join below -please add the Women Living Well Wednesdays button to your post so your readers can find us here! (posts can include the topics of marriage, parenting, homemaking, finances, recipes, organization and more!)

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I Stumble A Lot!

We are now up to chapter 3 in our James Video Series!  This chapter is a HARD one for me. It really points out so many flaws that I have. I am a woman of many words  lol! and Proverbs 10:19 says “When words are many, sin is not absent. But he who holds his tongue is wise.”

James 3 says that NO man can tame the tongue. It is filled with deadly poison.

I long to be a woman who is filled with life giving words. Who is filled with grace and mercy. But the reality is – I stumble in many ways (3:2). And when I stumble, it brings pain to others and to my own soul. I long to be free of this problem in my life – to be so full of wisdom and self-control that I never ever stumble again!

But let me be honest, I stumble!  I stumble all the time in my marriage, in my parenting, and sadly with my friendships!  Just this week, I had to email a friend and apologize for critical words I spoke.  SO embarrassing! I urge you to be very careful with your words in friendships. Pray before you send emails or post on facebook.  Pray God would show you if anything you type could hurt another. Filter your words with love and grace. Be forgiving when someone else acts immaturely. Pursue unity.

I made a video last summer about this very passage of James and included my children. Let’s teach our children while they are young the power of words. It will save them a lot of heartache and produce a generation of children who are world changers for Jesus!

James 3:1-12 ESV - Taming the Tongue

3:1 Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness. 2 For we all stumble in many ways. And if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle his whole body. 3 If we put bits into the mouths of horses so that they obey us, we guide their whole bodies as well. 4 Look at the ships also: though they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs. 5 So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things.

 

How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! 6 And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell. 7 For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by mankind, 8 but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. 9 With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. 10 From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so. 11 Does a spring pour forth from the same opening both fresh and salt water? 12 Can a fig tree, my brothers, bear olives, or a grapevine produce figs? Neither can a salt pond yield fresh water.

We will never master perfect control of our tongue.  Forever we will need to daily align our heart with God's word, filtering our thoughts and words through the strainer of God's word and repenting when the words we speak hurt others.  The next time someone hurts you with their words - remember grace...because you at any minute are about to slip up too!  As a matter of fact, often it's right after someone else's slip up that I slip up 10 times worse (for example in marriage - my husband says one word critical - and whamo - out comes 2 critical words from me.  Often what I say  is far worse than the first offense.) 


I like to journal my confessions...it reminds me how much I need Jesus.  The cross says I am flawed but it also says I am forgiven. 

Walk with the King!

This post is linked to Titus 2sdays, A Holy Experience, We Are That Family, and Raising Homemakers.

Super Nanny, Pollution, and God's Word

In this video, I mention Super Nanny. I want to clarify that I am not against Super Nanny but rather I am for looking in scripture first for our parenting answers. If we follow Super Nanny's methods we will raise respectable citizens (which I'd like to raise!). But our children will be lacking spiritually. We need God's word and God's principles to be our guide. Our children NEED the gospel. They need to know they are sinners in need of a Savior and that Savior's name is Jesus.  They need the help of the Holy Spirit to transform their hearts, minds and lives.

I also mention pollution in this video. I believe the digital age has the potential to pollute the minds of our teenagers. If iphones, ipads, and ipods go unmonitored we will raise a generation of children who are polluted with the worlds junk. As parents, we must be vigilant and pay attention to everything that goes into our minds and our children's minds. If we don't monitor it - who will? It is our responsibility!

My parents did this for me - and though I didn't like it at the time - now I am beyond grateful! I was a foolish daughter with wise parents! Please do not let your teens persuade you into believing they are wise and you are the foolish parent since you don't understand all the workings of these gadgets and gizmos they carry in their pocket.  They need us to guide and direct them into righteousness.

James 1:19-27 (ESV)
Hearing and Doing the Word

19 Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; 20for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God. 21Therefore put away all filthiness and rampant wickedness and receive with meekness the implanted word, which is able to save your souls.

22But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. 23For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror. 24For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like. 25But the one who looks into the perfect law, the law of liberty, and perseveres, being no hearer who forgets but a doer who acts, he will be blessed in his doing.

26If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person’s religion is worthless. 27Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.

Wednesday, I'll move into James chapter 2 and discuss the issue of favoring the rich over the poor.  I hope you will join me!


Walk with the King!

This is linked to Titus 2sdays, Raising Homemakers, We Are That Family and A Holy Experience.

Summer Bible Reading Plan For Moms

John Piper writes: Don't let summer make your soul shrivel. God made summer as a foretaste of heaven, not a substitute.

If the mailman brings you a love letter from your fiancé, don't fall in love with the mailman. That's what summer is: God's messenger with a sun-soaked, tree-green, flower-blooming, lake-glistening letter of love to show us what he is planning for us in the age to come—"things which the eye has not seen and ear has not heard, and which have not entered into the heart of man, God has prepared for those who love him" (1 Corinthians 2:9).

It is easy in the midst of summer fun to let our time in God's word slip.  If you are in need of accountability, I want to invite you to join me as I follow this summer reading plan for moms.

This reading plan follows the "S.O.A.P" method and I will be using it alongside Sally Clarkson's book The Ministry of Motherhood.

YOU DO NOT NEED TO HAVE SALLY'S BOOK TO JOIN ME!!!!  Reading God's word is first priority.  There will be videos over on Good Morning Girls.org that accompany this reading plan.  We'd love for you to join us - come alone or come as a group!

What is the S.O.A.P method?  The S.O.A.P. Method stands for:

1. S- Write out the scripture passage for the day. (I have a shiny new notebook where I will be writing out the verse/s of the day.)

2. O- Write down 1 or 2 observations from the passage. (After I write out the verse, I will write what I learned from the verse.)

3. A- Write down 1-2 applications from the passage. (Then I will write out how this verse applies to me if it is applicable.)

4. P- Pray over what you learned from today’s passage. (Then I will pray this verse over myself and my family.)

As you go through this study, if you come across a verse or passage that you don’t understand, I recommend Crosswalk’s Bible Study Tools found here: http://www.biblestudytools.com/ On this page in the lower right hand corner, you can find links to Bible dictionaries, commentaries (I like Matthew Henry's and John McArthur's), concordances, and other Bible translations, etc.

I need accountability.  If you need it too just print out the summer reading plan here.

And if you are a blogger and would like to share this with your readers - feel free to copy and paste this little button and link it too http://www.goodmorninggirls.org/

If you don't have a blog - I invite you to spread the word to your family and friends - share the link to this post or Good Morning Girls.org with your facebook, twitter or email friends.

 

Walk with the King and let him knock your socks off – he loves you so!!!!

To make sure you don't miss a thing - follow me on Facebook or Twitter!

I am linked to Raising Homemakers, Titus 2sdays, We Are That Family and A Holy Experience.

Happy Mother's Day!



Me, my Mom, my Mom's Mom, sister Kristen, sister Jennifer

 I celebrated yesterday with my mom, grandmother, and sisters!  So today - I will celebrate with my own family! 


This is my prayer today for all mothers everywhere:
"Oh that God would give every mother a vision of the glory and splendor of the work that is given to her when a babe is place in her bosom to be nursed and trained! Could she have but one glimpse in to the future of that life as it reaches on into eternity; could she look into it's soul to see its possibilities; could she be made to understand her own personal responsibility for the training of this child, for the development of its life, and for its destiny,--she would see that in all God's world there is no other work so noble and so worthy of her best powers, and she would commit to no others hands the sacred and holy trust given to her." -JR Miller


Walk with the King!

A Summer Book Club You Don't Want To Miss!

Summer break will be here in a flash! 


All of our kids will be home - so this is the perfect time for us to be encouraged, inspired and challenged through a Summer Book Club on Motherhood!


Angela (my partner over at GoodMorningGirls.org - who lives in Texas) and I are so excited to share the details with you here:




Starting May 23rd on GoodMorningGirls.org, Angela and I will be leading this book club(you do not have to be a Good Morning Girl to join us).


We have exclusive videos from Sally Clarkson that we will be playing every Monday for you to view for free. On Wednesdays, we will have guest bloggers writing about what they learned from that week's reading and on Fridays, Angela and I will record our skyped discussion using Sally Clarkson's discussion questions.


To learn more about the book club and to enter to win this book - go to GoodMorningGirls.org (do not enter here.)  (You can purchase the book at Amazon here for $10.19 or less if you choose a used book).


I'd love to know who is joining us!  So feel free to leave a comment and let me know if you are in!


Walk with the King!

This is linked to Titus 2sdays, We Are That Family,and Raising Homemakers.

Today's post is a part of the "Put Your House In Order" Series. Please visit the ladies below for great spring ideas in their areas of expertise!

Learning New Frugal Skills - Kingdom First Mom

New Growth {Signs of Spring} - Smockity Frocks

Home Organization Tips- My Blessed Life

Meal Planning For Easter Week- Good Cheap Eats

Motherhood is a Huge Time Zapper!

I remember when my son lost his very first tooth. A funny thing happened, he swallowed the tooth - which made for a little pickle when I tried to figure out how we were going to do the whole "tooth fairy" thing!

Daddy wrote a note to the tooth fairy explaining the situation and - good news - the tooth fairy did indeed show up!  But not without my husband and I first having a discussion about the going rate for a tooth these days. My husband suggested a pretty high price - I on the other hand tend to be cheap, so I threw out a low bid and we ended up in the middle.

Considering the cost...do you realize how much these kids have cost us? I'm not even talking about money here - I'm talking about time and energy!

Before I had my first child, I thought the hard part was going to be the pregnancy and delivery. Boy, was I wrong!  First it was my nursing struggles ,which I shared on Monday, and NOW the hardest part for me is taking the time and energy to train my children to do what is right.

The wise mother takes the time to correct her children over and over and over again so they can experience the peace and freedom of living a life in accordance to God's word and in peace with God and others. But this takes something very BIG - OUR TIME!

How are we doing with spending time with our kids? I have felt myself tempted to get the kids outside so I can get my work done inside. I have felt the pull of trying to get the kids in bed early so I can find some "me" time. These things are not wrong in and of themselves - but it is wrong if we spend the entire day - just corralling them like cattle from one activity to another and never spending real quality time with them during their day. 

Our children need their mommy's time. They need us to take the time to look into their little eyes and tell them they are loved. They need us to just sit and listen to their goofy story. They need us to look up the answer to that weird question they have, that we don't know the answer to - but they are really interested in. And they NEED us to take the time to read them God's word and train them to do what is right.

Deuteronomy 6:7 says it is the parents job to teach our children God's commands.  "Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up."  The only way to live out Deuteronomy 6:7 is by giving your children time talking together.

Motherhood is a huge time zapper! I see some moms bitter at their kids for the time they require - they snap at them and growl at them for being such a burden. God does not want us to resent our children for taking our time and they should never feel guilty for the sacrifices we make as moms. Let your complaints of motherhood remain between you and God and not you and your children and cling to Jesus and his example in John 15:13 "Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends."

Now go let's go look our sweet peas in the eyes and be there for them.  If this is a struggle  - we need a perspective change.  Let's View our children as gifts - say it out loud to them - "you are a gift".  Watch them light up - they hunger for words of love and affirmation.  When we see them as gifts - we open ourselves to the joy that they bring us - like when your first child loses their first tooth! So exciting!

Walk with the King!

This post is linked to Raising Homemakers, Titus 2sdays, and We Are That Family.


Today is Women Living Well Wednesday! It's a Link-Up Day!!!

Join the fun, do a little blog hopping and don't forget if you join below -please add the Women Living Well Wednesdays button to your post so your readers can find us here! (posts can include the topics of marriage, parenting, homemaking, finances, recipes, organization and more!)

<a href="http://womenlivingwell-courtney.blogspot.com/search/label/Women%20Living%20Well%20Wednesdays"><img border="0" src="http://i457.photobucket.com/albums/qq297/courtneylivingwell/LivingWell.png" /></a>

Our Weekend Birthday Bash

Alex turned 8 last week and Alexis is about to turn 6! So this weekend we had our big birthday bash!
It started out with a massive snow storm! It was breathtakingly gorgeous outside!
Then daddy took Alex on his annual trip to Friendly's for his birthday breakfast! (Side note: Friendly's is a chain of ice cream shops in the mid-west. I worked there for 4 years as a waitress! We LOVE Friendly's in my family!)

The theme for the birthday party was dogs! Alexis wanted 101 Dalmation Dogs.


And Alex wanted military dog fighting planes. The centerpiece was our pinata!

Mommy made 2 pans of lasagna for our relatives, along with Caesar Salad and Italian bread.


Then we took pictures before all our guests arrived!

Sweet!

Cousins! (a couple are missing in the picture)


The cake was from Dairy Queen. Our local Dairy Queen said - "choose any theme and we can google it and put it on your cake!" Awesome huh? They did a GREAT job!


Singing Happy Birthday and blowing out candles.

Lexi's favorite gift - roller blades! She spent her Sunday afternoon rolling through the house! We need some warm weather so she can use these OUTSIDE lol!


Tired parents! lol!

Silence...

The evening ends with wrapping paper, plastic cups, balloons, new books and toys scattered.

Mommy gulps as she reflects on the memories of her little ones who each day grow a little bigger.

Time.

Time seemed so slow during the Barney days.

Time.

Time is moving so fast I just want to hit the pause button.

Where did the days of binky's, bottles and blankies go?

Gone.

Completely gone - never to return.

Tear *

She wonders is she good enough?

Is she doing the right things for her children?

Has she given them too much, too little, enough?

It seems like life is 2 steps forward, one step back.

Signs of maturity sparkle but then the bubble bursts and ugly messes she never saw coming spill out.

And she wonders - trembling - how will this end, will they live well?

She lays her head in the chest of her strong man and says, "I think this is hard for a reason.
God is making sure I don't think I can do this in my own strength.

He is keeping me humbled so I will learn to persevere in prayer.

It seems I forget to pray on my knees when we take 2 steps forward.

But on days when we are one step back, I am reminded I am weak. He is strong."

And 2 who are 1, comfort each other as together they look to the future with hope.

Hope in a great God who is faithful.

Hope that in our weaknesses, God will give us strength for the days to come.

Hope that our children will be the next generation to shine like lights in a dark world.

And hope for future generations.

Lord, have mercy on us - help 2 who are 1, spiked hair son and dimpled daughter. Strengthen us. May we be fully committed to you.

2 Chronicles 16:9 "For the eyes of the Lord range through out the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to Him." NIV

Walk with the King!