Do Not Be Discouraged When You Feel Judged

Almost 7 years ago I brought my first born son home from the hospital. At the time, I had decided to do a scheduled feed, wake, sleep cycle. I had read books about this type of nursing and had discussed it with my husband and we had decided we would give it a try.


It wasn’t long before I explained my schedule to other moms and I realized that some of them felt I was out of my mind! I remember becoming defensive. I didn’t really know what I was doing – I was a first time mom – but my method had my baby sleeping through the night which made me happy. I was zealous about my method and wanted to share it with other new moms and again received some resistance. I didn’t understand why?


Since those newborn days, I have learned an important lesson in parenting. Do not squabble with your sister’s in Christ over methods! Many parenting methods are not moral issues –whether to nurse or bottle feed, whether to let the baby cry it out or not, when to potty train, what time bedtime should be, home school, christian school or public school choices … these are all matters of opinion. We must not judge other mom’s choices.


If we begin to criticize each other over methods eventually pride, self-righteousness and superiority enters in and that can give the enemy a foothold real quick!


Let me advise young women, consult your husband on what method you would like to use. As long as he is in agreement, do not worry what other moms think of you. And sister’s in Christ, beware of criticizing other’s behind their backs (the Bible calls that back-biting) – your friend may be cheerfully submitting to her husband and you may discourage her or worse cause her to be disobedient to God by following your advice rather than her husband’s.


It is important that we learn to be less opinionated for the sake of unity on matters that are not spelled out in the Bible. I believe this is why Titus 2 women are SO vital! If a woman has already raised her children, she may not not recall the details of the methods she used. Rather she will remember general principles that kept her on tract. Those principles are far more important than the methods we choose. So take the time to encourage your sister’s in Christ today and consider asking an older wiser woman for advice the next time you are wondering what to do with your toddler or teen.

Proverbs 17:27 and 28 says “A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, and a man of understanding is even-tempered. Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue.”

Use restraint when you disagree with another's methods - and if you feel judged - stay the course and remember you and your family are unique. What is best for each family will look different.

Walk with the King!