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Women Living Well Blog: The Duggar's House Rules

Women Living Well Blog

Thursday, February 4, 2010

The Duggar's House Rules

Often times I feel like a referee in my own home. There are days I wished I had a striped shirt and whistle - they would be very effective in getting my message across to the children!

So now that we have moved into our new home it is time for a new set of house rules. For the past 6 years we've had three simple rules:

1. Obey right away, all the way, with a cheerful heart.

2. Honor your parents

3. No hitting, kicking, pushing or tackling.

But after reading the book The Duggars: 20 and Counting! I have decided to turn over a new leaf in our new home and attempt to implement the Duggar's house rules. (If you've watched their show on television you have seen that these parent's have 18 well behaved children.) Their rules are more detailed than my "simple" rules and I hope to see some growth in my children in all of these areas. Here they are:

1. Always use soft words, even when you don't feel well.

2. Always display kind actions, even if you have been mistreated.

3. Show joyful attitudes even when no one is looking.

4. Have sincere motives with no thought of self-gain.

5. Think pure thoughts.

6. Always give a good report of others. Never tale-bear unless physical harm will come to someone. Use Matthew 18 as your standard.

7. Never raise a hand to hit.

8. Never raise a foot to kick.

9. Never raise an object to throw.

10. Never raise a voice to yell.

11. Never raise an eye to scowl.

12. Use one toy/activity at a time.

13. Never let the sun go down on your wrath. (Don't go to be angry or guilty.)

14. Amendment J.O.Y.: Put Jesus first, Others second, Yourself last. Make serving your family a priority.

If you are like me and feel at times like there's chaos in your house - maybe the Duggar rules can help you too. I must say that implementing the Duggars "Chore System" has done wonders for accomplishing orderly chores daily. We have used the system seamlessly for 9 months now! I am hopeful that these rules will work as well.
Do you have house rules? What are they?

Walk with the King!



Blogger Sherry said...

Loved the book! Their family is so inspiring. Thank you for your post on this!

February 4, 2010 at 7:34 AM  
Blogger jenniferO said...

This is a great idea! Thanks for sharing :)

February 4, 2010 at 7:47 AM  
Blogger daningo said...

Great post! I appreciate your honesty. I laughed at your rule about no tackling. I have 3 boys and that just wouldn't work around here :) I still haven't read the Duggars book but would like to sometime. Glad you are getting settled into a new home.

February 4, 2010 at 8:34 AM  
Blogger Courtney (Women Living Well) said...

Daningo - yes, no tackling has been the rule - but my son cannot keep his hands off his sister - who when she is tackled screams so loud it's piercing! So we had to make it a rule BUT it's very hard for him. (this is not a no wrestling rule - but a no tackling rule).

She really hates it - sure wish he had a sister who thought that was fun!!! I've been trying to teach him when and where it's appropriate to tackle - like on the football field, in the backyard with other boys - NOT in church or on his sister when she's unexpecting!

We have a ways to go - and I must say - I have never seen the Duggar's boys tackle an unexpecting sister - so I know this is possible to train!!!! lol!!!


February 4, 2010 at 8:40 AM  
Anonymous Angela said...

Wow - great rules. I'm not a parent, but I think my marriage would be happier if I applied these rules to myself. Problem is, my mouth moves before my brain and conscience. Much prayer to be done here!

February 4, 2010 at 8:52 AM  
Blogger Morgan said...

I read the book and do like the idea of house rules. Some friends of mine have their rules posted on the wall. For handwriting practice, my friend has her kids write out the house rules- print, cursive, whatever they're currently working on. I thought that was pretty clever- not only does that help with their handwriting, but also with getting those house rules memorized!

Congrats on your move! Did you find the process stressful or not too bad? It's been 9 months since our move and I still haven't recovered from the experience of having our house on the market for 7 months.

February 4, 2010 at 10:05 AM  
Blogger Courtney (Women Living Well) said...

Morgan - great idea to have the kids write out the house rules! I love that idea!! Thanks! I am going to have my son do this!!!

The move has definately been stressful but exciting too!!! Our schedules are all off which kills me - I am really looking forward to next Monday when we return to our old schedules and find a new normal in the new home!

Thanks for asking!

February 4, 2010 at 2:17 PM  
Blogger Traci Michele said...

HI Courtney! So nice to meet you!

I JUST posted the Duggar's House Rules on my blog last week!

I think they are great and LOVE that family!

I'll have to check out your post about meeting Michelle! Way cool!

Hugs and LOVE your blog!


February 4, 2010 at 2:34 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

Courtney, wondering if you could tell me where you got the "chore pack" bags that you use with your kids? Thanks for all your helpful posts.

February 4, 2010 at 6:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

These are great rules! I'm curious how you are beginning to implement them. (I look at the list and think, "Wow. That's a lot of rules. And my kids can't read yet. How do I teach them such a long list?!") I just requested the book from the library; maybe there is some application there as well. Thanks for taking time to pass on wisdom, even while your family is in transition!

February 4, 2010 at 10:43 PM  
Blogger Courtney (Women Living Well) said...

Lisa - I bought their packets at Office Max - they were about $4 each and hanging in the name tag isle.

Stephanie - yesterday I read through the rules at breakfast time and we discussed the first one. Through out the day I would remind them - by saying "remember the new rules - are you using soft words?"

I think for a while we will read over them at breakfast, discuss them and I will remind them of them through out the day. Then in about a week I will begin to hold them accountable for following them with consequences. But for now we are all still just learning the BIG list :-)!

But so far it has helped even me keep my words soft and my attitude joyful!!!

February 5, 2010 at 7:05 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

We tried various lists of rules throughout the years. Either we couldn't remember them all or the kids couldn't, and we really tripped up when we were away from the actual list. My husband and I decided that if WE couldn't recite them all, and THEY couldn't recite them all, then how could we be consistent and effective?

SO, we decided on only TWO rules. Yes, ONLY TWO RULES in our house, because everything seemed to fall under these two categories:


Think about it! Everything seems to either be about obedience or kindness.

Great post, and would love to read your tips and advice on moving as we are getting ready for a cross-country move soon.

February 6, 2010 at 11:15 PM  
Blogger michelle said...

These are great. I like you, have high energy children! It seems the simple things, like keeping your hands to yourself and not being ugly, are the most difficult to follow! Thanks for sharing these! I may just take a few and start small!

February 7, 2010 at 2:42 PM  
Anonymous Hope said...

Lisa, just an idea for you, I made chore packs for my kids cost free. I took an old pair of jeans, cut off the back pockets and attached some rick-rack and viola, we had chore pouches!
It was budget friendly and fun for the kids to help make them! Every once and a while one of my girls will hold up her chore pouch and say-'this is your old jeans, right mommy?"

February 7, 2010 at 4:22 PM  
Blogger Danielle said...

I am at the point of trying anything with my children. I love the Duggar family. What a testimony! I recently was at Woman's Retreat at church and Renee Swope spoke. Very awesome part of Proverbs 31 Ministries. She mentioned a method she uses with her children. Mining for Gold in the Heart of a Child. I bought it and love the idea. I have not started yet but I have high hopes for change. I am guilty of focusing on all of the negative and my discipline is not affective. This is the link. I just wanted to share. Best of luck with your new journey.

February 19, 2010 at 12:18 AM  
Blogger Courtney (Women Living Well) said...

Danielle - thank you for Renee Swope's link - she is excellent I agree!!!


February 20, 2010 at 10:42 AM  
Anonymous Jorene said...

The Duggars are an amazing family. I am so happy they are permitted to share their faith and family values across the same television that brings smut, filth and immorality into our homes- it is very much needed and I hope to see more true family shows (NOT family guy, there is NOTHING family oriented about that show)--Keep up the great work TLC---Oh our Family "Rules" (more like Goals)

JOY (Jesus, Others, Yourself) --if you really apply this to your life, everything else falls into place. We have broken it down into specific categories beneath this, but the main focus is

"Live in such a way that those who know you, but don't know God, will come to know God because they know you." ~Author Unknown

For young kids this would be: Treat others like you would want to be treated

Show God's love in the way you interract with others

Use your words to build each other up, not tear each other down....

February 22, 2010 at 11:16 AM  
Anonymous Laurie Delk said...

These are great - Thanks so much!

Laurie Delk

March 16, 2010 at 1:13 PM  
Anonymous Kamika said...

HI I have a rule for my family that I started in awareness to all the domestic abuse that has been so prevalent in today's society. I have four boys and one girl, so our number one for the boys is never hit a girl or take what is precious from her. My daughter's not allowed to hit boys either, but I try to make it a point that girls need to be respected in that manner. I also follow a rule of modesty for all my kids but especially my daughter. Our bodies are not only our temple but our greatest witness to the world of how we view ourselves.

March 18, 2010 at 6:48 PM  

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