My Marriage Looks Nothing Like Your Marriage

It's Marriage Monday!

So last week I had a woman approach me concerned because her husband loves to cook. She wanted to be sure that I understood that some men are different than my husband (I mentioned on the Rachael Ray Show - my husband has NEVER cooked a meal in 12 years of marriage.)

I have had similar comments in emails and on the blog, so I want to clarify, my marriage should look different from your marriage. Why? Because my husband is different than your husband!

God has given us clear direction in the Bible that the husband is to be the leader of our homes. Because each man is unique that means each of our homes will be unique. Our leaders are all going to lead differently. My husband runs 2 businesses, so he works long hours - when he comes in the door he is whipped. He needs a warm meal, a cold drink and some lovin'! I do not ask him to bathe the kids or do dishes because he needs to decompress from the stress of his work.

My husband is a detail guy - he is very clear about what he likes and does not like. He likes heavy starch on his shirts, an endless supply of granola and water bottles and he expects coats always to be hung on their hooks.

After 12 years of marriage, I have learned his likes and dislikes. Through conflicts (that's code for fighting lol) and long talks (sometimes tears) I have learned to keep the endless supply of things he loves, hang the coats right away and spray heavy starch on his shirts! As a result I am able to keep him quite happy and we rarely have conflicts over the small stuff anymore.

What are your husbands likes and dislikes? Maybe he likes meat and potatoes for dinner, cans of Coke in the fridge, and his sink clean. Maybe he could CARE LESS about any of that - and he happily makes his own meat and potatoes, cleans his own sink, and buys his own Coke! Wonderful!

The Biblical principles that we apply to our marriages should be the same but how this is carried out in our homes will look different. Your husband is not my husband but my God is your God, so our principles should match!

We must all respect our husbands. (Ephesians 5:33)

We must all submit to our husbands. (Ephesians 5:22, 24)

We must all be a helpmate to our husbands. (Genesis 2:18)

I hope this clarifies my views and if I have ever put an unnecessary burden on you - I apologize. Find out your husband's likes and dislikes (ask him if you don't know - most likely if you think back over the past fights you've had, you already know what he wants). Respect his opinions on small stuff. Submit to his leadership in your home and seek to please him. Overtime you will find your home is a more peaceful place for your children, a haven to your husband, and joy in your heart as you know you are in the center of God's will.

Walk with the King!

I am joining Julie over at Marriage Mondays - check out her post today on "Books to Bless". If you leave a comment on her site today, you will be entered into her giveaway for a marriage book.