Summer is coming to a screeching halt and it's almost time to pull out our sweaters and pumpkins! But while the August heat lingers -I want you to reflect back on your summer. Let's pause to assess how our marriage has been lately.Was it a good summer for your marriage? Or a hard one? Was it a joyful time with lots of memories? Or was it filled with ups and downs?
All of our marriages go through different seasons. We all have our ups and downs. We have the newlywed season, then the... I'm so tired I can't keep my eyes open cause we have a newborn... season, the on the go with the kids and their activities season, the challenging teenage season, the empty nest season and the golden years.
As you look ahead to the fall, do not lose your focus on building a strong marriage.
1. We must continue to remember those dating days and what made us fall in love with our husbands in the first place.
3.Remember to ask your husband how you can be praying for him daily.
4.Remember to tell your husband how you admire him.
5.Remember to keep your priorities in line.
6.Remember to follow your husband's lead and vision for your family.
7.Remember to respect your husband.
8. Remember to keep kissing him like you mean it!
No matter what season you are in, God longs for you to follow his design for marriage.
This summer, many of you participated in the Marriage Challenge. How did it go? How did it change you and how did it change your marriage?
If you blog, please link up below with your response to the above question and then link back to this post. If you do not blog, please comment in the comment section below.
Everyone who links up or comments answering the question above will be entered to win a $50 Gift Certificate to Vintage Pearl. The winner will be chosen Thursday, August 19th. Check out the necklace they made me and their other adorable stuff!!
And by the way, if you were wondering how our marriage was going this summer - I have to say this challenge really made it great! To be honest though, we did have one kink. Mid-summer we had a strong disagreement on a Sunday night - right after I posted the challenge: what I admire about my husband . I was so annoyed at him I didn't tell him about the blog post...it wasn't until Tuesday that I said - go check out all the "wonderful" things I said about you on-line Sunday lol!!! Interesting timing wasn't it! So in case you wonder if we are "normal" and fight - indeed we do from time to time. But we are both decent forgivers and I believe a strong marriage takes 2 decent forgivers!
Walk with the King!
I really appreciated this series! It reminded me to love and respect my husband more each day!
ReplyDeleteI was shocked and relieved when my hubs told me that a clean house was last on his priority list. I now have adjusted my schedule for him and it has been great!!! Loved this challenge, it has made me look at our marriage with fresh eyes.
ReplyDeleteI loved finding out that the house wasn't his big "thing." He actually would prefer that I do the bedtime routine and he could "help" when he wants. I've been happy to come downstairs to a clean kitchen most nights now that I've given him some relief: )
ReplyDeleteThis series just made me so much more conscious of our marriage!! Thank you!
Thank you so much for doing this challenge. It inspired me to love him more, to respect him more, and to be his wife in every way more!
ReplyDeleteBlessings to you Courtney!
I actually went out and bought one of the books you had suggested on your video blog and it was a wonderful read! (and hubby was thankful too :) Thanks for the suggestion!
ReplyDeleteAngie - glad you followed along!
ReplyDeleteValencia - I LOVE this!
Janenes - woohoo -that's great enjoy!
Jennifer - Loved your post.
Alissa - I think I know which book you bought and oh yes I'm sure hubby was very happy :-) That's GREAT :-)
Courtney
I'm still single but it's interesting for me to read these posts and the comments. I think it's important to be prepared and learn what it means to be a godly Christian woman and wife!! I hope you get lots of entries for the necklace!! I'm NOT entering...I just love the blog :) :) Have a good week. Hugs from Oregon, Heather :)
ReplyDeleteWe had the privilege of doing some great serving and traveling and playing together this summer. It was such a sweet summer together, and I'm SO sad it's done. I want the fall to be another "sweet" season, but I'm bracing myself for some of the ministry and kid schedule pressure of our upcoming fall. I will have to intentionally and prayerfully keep it from robbing us of our enjoyment together.
ReplyDeleteOh, and thanks, Courtney, for linking this up to Marriage Mondays each week. It's been a great addition.
ReplyDeleteBlessings,
Julie@comehaveapeace
Marriage Mondays
Awesome post! We do have to work at our marriages. Loving someone other than ourselves takes work, lol!
ReplyDeleteHad to laugh at your disagreement with your hubby, as you say we all have them.
Thanks for linking up today!
I found your blog near the end of your challenge. However, even after joining in late, I've reaped some great encouagement. Thank you so much!!!
ReplyDeleteAlso, the vintage pearl giveaway is wonderful!
We are in the newlywed season preparing for a new season of pregnancy and parenthood. So it has been a great summer full of sweet memories and wonderful deep conversations!
ReplyDeleteI haven't followed all this seris but have found the ones I've caught to be interesting and given me a lot to think about. I know I am blessed by my husband but it has been good to cherish him a little more even if our children are now describing us as sloppy. Thank you xxx
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I have an excellent marriage, praise the Lord. However, with six children, four of whom are four years old and younger, it's easy to get so busy that we overlook each other's needs. The summer challenge helped to remind me that I am his helpmeet, and that job is second only the serving the Lord. Thanks for the encouragement!
ReplyDeleteThis has been the most stressful summer of our lives, so things have had ups and downs, but it's been good to remember the things that matter and don't worry about situations you can't change.
ReplyDeleteI was so thankful to discover your blog, as my heart's desire is found all through your posts. My husband definitely likes that I'm setting priorities in a manner that makes him feel more appreciated. ;) Keep up the wonderful messages, Courtney. I'm so enjoying your blog and website.
ReplyDeleteBlessings,
Toni
It went well. I would have to say the best part was the priority list. Because, quite honestly, I've read many wife or marriage books and implemented the information, but my priorities were so different from his. I just didn't realize. Intimacy was always #1 one on my list for him, but he actually placed it at around #4. Shocking! I had many other shockers. I am still having fun, thinking about how to just bless him each day. It was great to see others doing the challenge as well, it's always nice to know someone else out there is dealing with the same things. :) thanks!!!
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, I have to be HONEST. My husband and I have been married since Sept. 6th, 2008...almost two years now. Both of us are believers but both of us lacked a sturdy christian view of what our roles were designed to be since the dawn of creation. God's provision is amazing though. Key things since our wedding day: We've been battling infertility since we got married, unexpectedly (PCOS). We bought a house about 7 months ago. We've wanted to make our house a ministry by opening it up to people in need. (Its big, far too big for an empty womb, and a traveling husband.) Recently, I came across your site- actually...it was RECOMMENDED TO ME from my loving older sister. =) It sparked my interest. That was 2 weeks ago. Since then, I've not only read MOST of your blogs, but I've also watched ALL your videos, read the book "The Excellent Wife" By Martha Peace (HIGHLY RECOMMEND TO OTHER READERS!!! FULL OF SCRIPTURE) and read "Crazy Love." Our marriage has a deeper, and completely God- driven PULSE! We've had a tearful awakening. It drives me to a speechless place....to think we were "happy" and "living as God wanted" before now, is unbelievable. We didn't realize how much the world had influenced our marriage. We now are REALLY diving head first into scripture, and basing our lives, our marriage...our everything on God's word!!! We are in a different place now: simply put. IT IS SOOOO WONDERFUL to know that as a wife, I CAN have faith and trust God--by TRUSTING my husband! And thats just the beginning. We're cleaning our house of certain DVD's that aren't pleasing to God...and guess what, we got a call just the other day, a family needs a place to stay..full time missionaries. They're moving in with us end of next month...We've offered several people a home at our house, but God's always found them other arrangements! I WONDER WHY!!!! LOL! Oh, and the wife that is staying with us is newly pregnant--so there will be a baby in the house..Just like we had been hoping for :) Life is good---GOD IS GREAT. Thank you for being open and honest. Your website started a chain reaction that has completely changed our life, and our marriage. To answer your question...I think this summer GOD has REALLY challenged, changed, grown, inspired, and uplifted... our marriage...:) We are a different couple. Its a joy to be a Christ-centered wife, my pleasure ...Truthfully. I can already see a happy and healthy change in my husband! My husband loves prayer together, and being the spiritual leader,---(which is NOT the norm!) the growth in him is remarkable!! God is good!!! I can't stop saying that! :) GOD IS GOOD!
ReplyDelete-The Reichmuths
First of all, I have to be HONEST. My husband and I have been married since Sept. 6th, 2008...almost two years now. Both of us are believers but both of us lacked a sturdy christian view of what our roles were designed to be since the dawn of creation. God's provision is amazing though. Key things since our wedding day: We've been battling infertility since we got married, unexpectedly (PCOS). We bought a house about 7 months ago. We've wanted to make our house a ministry by opening it up to people in need. (Its big, far too big for an empty womb, and a traveling husband.) Recently, I came across your site- actually...it was RECOMMENDED TO ME from my loving older sister. =) It sparked my interest. That was 2 weeks ago. Since then, I've not only read MOST of your blogs, but I've also watched ALL your videos, read the book "The Excellent Wife" By Martha Peace (HIGHLY RECOMMEND TO OTHER READERS!!! FULL OF SCRIPTURE) and read "Crazy Love." Our marriage has a deeper, and completely God- driven PULSE! We've had a tearful awakening. It drives me to a speechless place....to think we were "happy" and "living as God wanted" before now, is unbelievable. We didn't realize how much the world had influenced our marriage. We now are REALLY diving head first into scripture, and basing our lives, our marriage...our everything on God's word!!! We are in a different place now: simply put. IT IS SOOOO WONDERFUL to know that as a wife, I CAN have faith and trust God--by TRUSTING my husband! And thats just the beginning. We're cleaning our house of certain DVD's that aren't pleasing to God...and guess what, we got a call just the other day, a family needs a place to stay..full time missionaries. They're moving in with us end of next month...We've offered several people a home at our house, but God's always found them other arrangements! I WONDER WHY!!!! LOL! Oh, and the wife that is staying with us is newly pregnant--so there will be a baby in the house..Just like we had been hoping for :) Life is good---GOD IS GREAT. Thank you for being open and honest. Your website started a chain reaction that has completely changed our life, and our marriage. To answer your question...I think this summer GOD has REALLY challenged, changed, grown, inspired, and uplifted... our marriage...:) We are a different couple. Its a joy to be a Christ-centered wife, my pleasure ...Truthfully. I can already see a happy and healthy change in my husband! My husband loves prayer together, and being the spiritual leader,---(which is NOT the norm!) the growth in him is remarkable!! God is good!!! I can't stop saying that! :) GOD IS GOOD!
ReplyDelete-The Reichmuths
You're so funny, I just expected that you were normal and had your "intence fellowship" (as my mom's foster mom calls it *smile*) from time to time. It's something that reminds our beloved that we are just as human as they are. *smile*
ReplyDeleteQuickly scanning, I am with Valencia about the clean house thing. When I found out how unimportant that is on my husband's priority list I too was surprised. *smile* It really helps one to relax and enjoy life a bit more knowing that truth. *smile* Have a great week Courtney. Sincerely, Mommy of two little blessings & so much more!
We talked! It's something that we were really neglecting after having our fourth child... We're making a habit of talking about everything now and even praying together before bed to know God's will for us and our family. Thanks Courtney!
ReplyDeleteI've been more aware of his needs and have been disappointed by his lack of asking about my needs. I'm trying to give without expecting, but sometimes I feel like he's just going to expect more from me then. His adhd plays a big role. I feel as though he wants me to switch back and forth from being his mother to being his wife at the flick of a switch. Does that make sense to anyone? If I call and remind him of his appts on one day I'll receive "thanks, I would have forgotten." On another given day, I'll get "Do you think I'm twelve? I know what to do!" It can be frustrating. To be honest I feel like while he's working outside of the home so that I can stay home and homeschool and do billing for his business, I'm expected to do everything else. He does work a lot of hours, but I feel like I'm never "off". Thanks for my brief vent. I hope others can relate and that it's not just me. I'm not husband bashing.
ReplyDeleteI found this challenge, exactly that, a challenge. I'll be honest, it was NOT easy, but man was it well worth it! Yes we had our ups and downs. Many of them, but as we got further and further into the challenge, could I ever see the changes!!!
ReplyDeleteOur marriage is so much different now. We're both happier, our daughter is happier. We;re doing more things as a couple, even simple things like doing the dishes together, making dinner together (for our 7th Anniversary yesterday :D). Simple things like that, but also other more intimate things together!
Thank you so much Courtney, for putting that spark back into my marriage & for helping me learn to be a better wife & be the man of my husbands dreams! I am so much more conscious of his likes & dislikes. What he enjoys doing around the house & what he really despises! Since discovering those things, opening up our communication lines & both of us being much more open with each other, our relationship has become incredible!!!
Thank you thank you thank you!!!
I found your blog this summer and it has been a source of joy in our house! I have discussed the topics with my DH and he just smiles saying... Read more Read more... You see i have been a believer for as long as I can remember. My children and I had been going to church for years... My husband was saved at 39,000 ft right before Father's Day and has become the man I always knew I was meant to marry! God has renewed a new spirit in me as well! Your guiding words of advice have been so relevant! Thanks You!
ReplyDeleteHi Courtney,
ReplyDeleteThis challenge came at just the right time for my marriage. We are struggling with huge changes in my husbands career. He may have to completely re-invent himself as he moves out of the health insurance field with all of the current changes going on. Imagine having to switch careers at 43 years old with a wife, three kiddos, a mortgage, etc. etc. (and we homeschool!)
This challenge has shown me how to bless my husband with grace as he deals with the stress of all of this. With the Holy Spirit pulling me along I have been able to be my husband's "soft place to land" in the evenings when he comes home from the office. I am praying constantly that God grants my dear husband peace as he follows this new path. I know it will bring us exactly where God wants us! Thanks so much for your wonderful words that show many women what God's model of marriage truly looks like. Hugs! Stacey
This summers challenge has strengthened our marriage in so many ways; I am so thankful that I completed this with all of you! God has grown our love for each other and given both of us a deeper desire for Him.
ReplyDeleteWe've learned how to talk to each other better, pray together and ask each other for prayer more, support and care for each other, and be in each others corner. As all of this happened, we also learned that just how angry this makes Satan and that it's crucial to put on the full armor of God.
This is a summer we won't soon forget!
I didn't find your site until mid-summer and had a baby July 3rd, so I didn't actually participate, but I have enjoyed reading when I can your reminders about keeping my husband first in this tiring season!
ReplyDeleteI need prayers for our home. We are both going through chronic health problems that are draining us. Yesterday he was lashing out that I had not idea what he was going though. I guess I feel the same way. I am so discouraged.
ReplyDeleteI joined the challenge late in the summer - but it couldn't have come at a better time. My life and marriage is better for it. We are more of a team and communicating better than we have in months. Thanks for sharing!!
ReplyDeleteI have really enjoyed this challenge! I came in at the beginning but have missed some weeks due to traveling, etc. I agree that one of my favorite things about it was the priorities list. It was very practical and extremely informative as most of us probably did not know these things about our spouse. (Even if we *thought* we did. ;)) Thanks for this series!!! :)
ReplyDeleteI just found your blog about a week ago, but it has already been a HUGE encouragement and blessing to me and our marriage! Our summer has been amazing, but still with it's share of problems. We've been married for 2 years now, and I still think of us as newlyweds...even though I feel like our love is sooooo much deeper and stronger than on our wedding day. You've encouraged me to pray more specifically for my husband and to put his needs and desires ahead of mine, as well as to follow his vision for our family (even when I don't exactly see it myself!)...and I definitely want to check out some of the books that have been recommended here! Thank you so much for your commitment to this blog and to us!
ReplyDeleteAnonymous #1 - I'm so sorry. I know that marriage can be very hard. It really is a sanctifying process in our own lives as we learn to do what is good and pure despite how our husband responds. God is so pleased with our efforts. Continue to do what is right and pray for your husband. In time, God will work in your marriage. Be patient on the Holy Spirit to work on your husband. I have heard many testimonies from women who have prayed many years for their husband and then finally God answered and their marriage is amazing. Be faithful to God and hang onto Jesus and believe that God can renew your marriage!
ReplyDeleteAnonymous #2 - I guess what I said above applies to you also - I am praying right now for your marriage!!! You are not alone - Jesus sees you and loves you so much. Cast your cares on him - for he cares for you I Peter 5:7. ((hugs))
Courtney
This challenge, although I didn't blog about all of them, gave me a new perspective for my marriage. My husband and I have been married for almost 4 years, and we have 2 very young children. life get's very challenging with little ones at your feet, but I have learned to pray for God's help more and more and it has been working!
ReplyDeleteI loved this challenge and it was so helpful to me to simply focus on my hubbie. We just went through a really tough year together in which I had a miscarriage and our daughter had to have surgery all while my husband was completing his Master's degree at seminary. A really tough year for our family. This summer has been such a blessing with the challenge because it made me remember how important it is to maintain and strengthen our #1 human relationship with our spouse. Thanks so much!
ReplyDeleteThis year has been the most difficult in our marriage. Earlier this year started a major trial. We have been working at our marriage and your blog as helped me so much personally. I admit I didn't doing everything that you suggested, it can be hard during a difficult time. Our marriage is doing much better right now. I would appreciate any prayers! Thank you for all you do! I also enjoy following you on fb!
ReplyDeleteHave enjoyed the challenges of this series! My marriage has been up and down this summer, mostly due to stressful circumstances outside of our marriage which coupled with lack of sleep meant we were too cranky and tired to deal with things well. But priorities are getting rearranged and we're growing through it. Thanks, Courtney!
ReplyDeleteShannon in Indiana <><
Our marriage has definitely been strengthened over this summer. We had been having a rough time, but all the sudden last month it seemed like HE was right there with us. Taking us by the hand and physically leading us where He wanted us to be. It's almost like we're a completely different family now, but oh my WORD we're so much happier ... so much closer ... and things are running so much smoother. The Lord is GOOD!
ReplyDeleteI read your posts every week and really enjoyed them, but I must be honest, we have been going through a tough time. We have 3 great kids, but we disagree on how to discipline, my mother-in-law lives with us and we barely have time to talk. Talking is what we do when we have to get something done. We are both pulled in many directions. As I read your posts I was continually reminded about how i should treat my husband and I thank you for the reminders. I hope to continually be reminded by others about how to work on my marriage once this season is over. Thank you so much for your insights.
ReplyDeleteWhat a wonderful challenge! I am going to take some time and read your prior posts!
ReplyDeleteMe and my hubby make sure to have 2 dates (1 during the day and 1 at night) a week. It has really strengthened our marriage!
Courtney, I have enjoyed the marriage focus series and definitely have been encouraged to put more sincere effort into my relationship with my husband and count my blessings. Thanks for your inspiration. Jenny C. email orosco99@juno.com
ReplyDeleteCourtney,
ReplyDeleteGreat challenge. . .so glad God led you to share it. I'm still learning to recapture the early days when I kissed like I meant it. When the kids came along, I became focused on them and put him -- and passionate kissing -- in a closet.
Time to let him out, doncha think?
Blessings, Lucy
Thanks for your honesty in your own marital friction. It's a sign of healthy communication. (We can't ALWAYS agree right?)
ReplyDeleteI appreciate the challenge to have a self-assessment of our marriage. We've been married for going on nine years and I've been feeling like only in the last couple years have I really started to get the hang of being the wife God has called me to be. Thank you for following God's leading on your heart to be an encouragement to all of us. :)
It has never occurred to me to ask him my priorities. Nor did i ever think of asking him daily how I can pray for him. The challenge was great :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for your obedience!
This was a really good series. It was good to read about some tangible things and specifics on how one can disrespect by expressions and not just words, and likewise, how one can build him up with doing, not always saying. I am not a very talkative person, my husband is. It seems a lot easier for him to put things into words. When I say things it doesn't seem to carry with it the beauty of what I am thinking inside. The words aren't eloquent enough. So I was relieved to know there are ways to show it besides being romantic verbally. Thank you very much. I am working on both sides, but my hands do better than my lips most often.
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I had a date at home after the kids went to bed one night. It was then that I asked him many of the questions that you posed during the challenges. He really felt loved, respected, and appreciated by the fact that I just wanted to know these things about him. He then turned many of the questions on me, so I was able to share my heart as well. It was a great way for us to reconnect that night. Thanks Courtney!
ReplyDeleteI loved this series, what a great reminder to keep our priorites straight and keep our marriages fresh...thanks for all the time and love you put into your blog! rachel
ReplyDeletegreat post..I just found your blog. I love it!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for putting together this wonderful summer challenge!!! It has been such a blessing to my marriage.
ReplyDeleteHi Courtney! I've just recently found your blog at the very end of this challenge, but have to say I agree with all of your points! My hubby and I have actually been working on our relationship and our communication, trying to focus more on each other's needs. It's really eye opening how we can incorrectly assume things of each other, therefore constantly being disappointed if you're not communicating and connecting! What a time of growth and deeper connection we're gaining! (And we've been married 19 years!)
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I were actually married over the summer. When I found your blog, I went back and picked up where I had missed and started again. I feel that the challenge has greatly helped us already! He has opened up to me soo much more now that I truly show respect for him and show him the ways I admire him. Thank you so much for all of your encouraging words each day!!
ReplyDeleteTabitha McWhorter
LOved this challange! Reminded me of the importance of praying for my husband!
ReplyDeleteCourtney,
ReplyDeleteI loved doing this challenge with you (and starting on Good Morning Girls as well) and I am looking forward to more :)
Just submitted my reflection post.
Be blessed beyond measure!
My husband and I where in the baby to tired season, we had 3 children in 3 1/2 years. So we where so busy surviving we didn't have time for US. This series help us refocus on US now that our children aren't babies. We are reconnected and so happy. Thanks for the series.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteCourtney, I am so thankful that I came across your facebook page and ultimately your blog. I don't blog myself, but I have really enjoyed reading yours. Your summer marriage challenge really helped me to think about my marriage and focus my attention and efforts on being the best possible wife I can be. Your challenge has really opened my eyes and allowed me to see that I have a lot of areas that I still need to work on and improve. Thank you for taking time out of your life to do this blog. I look forward to reading more of your encouraging words.
ReplyDeleteCourtney, I have really enjoyed this series. I haven't been able to do everything, like so many others who've commented, we've had a difficult summer. What I have found myself doing most of the summer is praying for him. I plan to go back and re-take the challenge when things calm down a bit. I appreciate that you prepared and shared all of this. It's a challenge I can take on an ongoing basis.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the encouragement over the summer- your postings really made me think. So excited to start my new GMG group in September:)
ReplyDeleteThank you for hosting the challenge. I just wanted you to know that I appreciated it and enjoy your blog.
ReplyDeleteGlad we are bloggy friends,
Amy @ Missional Mama
Courtney,
ReplyDeleteDitto to being thankful for finding your blog :) Your "focus on him" challenge has been a challenge for me! This is my second marriage (my first lasting over 18 years) I thought I knew how to be a wife... but thanks for the refreshing, encouraging & inspiring lessons! My hubby & I talked about most of them and if I could consistently follow through I am sure our marriage would be strengthened.... I will keep pressing on!! On a lighter note my husband's over all comment on this series.... he thinks you are secretly a guy because your ideas and challenges were so on target LOL
Thank you for being open & honest about your marriage because overall I was thinking I was just not measuring up... and yes I need to work on that but like your blog on the children PROGRESS not Perfection!!
Thank you for being a woman concerned about other women living well!!! I appreciate it!!
I actually just stumbled on this site, so I haven't done the challenge officially, but I have been doing something like this on my own. It's super hard to remember during the annoying times what a gift from God my hubby is. But, it is what God commands us to do. Count our blessings rather than focus on the negatives.
ReplyDeletenoellengod@hotmail.com
The past 3 to 4 yrs have been really tough due to issues with my ex-husband and 2 youngest children but I have tried to do some of the things you suggested and things seem to be slowly getting better with my husband.
ReplyDeleteThis challenge was just that a challenge. Each time I followed a new weeks challenge all sorts of things would come up. I am very grateful for the opertunity to work on this. I to was suprised by the priorites list. I guess I has made some incorrect assumptions. It has been a summer of learning and renewing. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteI read some of the post now need to put them into action. Great challenge.
ReplyDeleteThe challenge has just helped me to remind myself every day why I fell in love with my husband and to tell him every day how much I love him and how proud I am of him!
ReplyDeleteYour challenges were like a big, extra sticky band-aid for me. LOL! It will do me good in the long-run, but it sure did sting when pulled off... rrriiippp!!!
ReplyDeleteIt was amazing how I would be in the midst of something with my hubby and then I'd open your blogsite and find something posted that I truly needed to hear. And I thought that being married for 19 years expempted me from needing a marriage challenge. Haha.
Thank you!
~KHeather