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Women Living Well Blog: Captivate Your Husband

Women Living Well Blog

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Captivate Your Husband

Proverbs 5:18b&19 tells husbands "May you rejoice in the wife of your youth. A loving doe, a graceful deer - may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love."

The Webster definition of captivate is: to capture the attention or affection of, as by beauty and excellence; fascinate; charm

Do you remember when your husband was first captivated by you? He saw you as beautiful and excellent. You fascinated him. Your eyes twinkled, you smiled with each thought of him, you bonded over long conversations of who you both were and dreamed to be.

Do you remember the butterflies when he was around, how it felt for his hand to hold yours, how your mind soared when you dreamed of taking his name as your last name. And then when the diamond wrapped around your finger you sat and stared at the reality that indeed you were about to become the wife of the man you were head over heels in love with!

Remembering does wonders for our soul to remind us of how fabulous our men truly are! We are the wife of our husband's youth and God tells our husband - be satisfied and captivated by her love!

But I wonder, are you still captivating or has pleasing, pursuing, touching, loving, listening and feeding you relationship been lost somewhere in the busy shuffle of life?

It's Week #1 of the Completing Him Challenge. If you are a blogger - share your dating pictures and story (save the wedding ones for next week!).

Consider: How much time do you spend on a daily/weekly basis cultivating your marriage now? In what ways can you regain some of what has been lost in the daily shuffle of life?

Purpose this week to do something that reminds your husband of the youthful wife you once were - maybe it's wearing something you know he loves on you (remember we dressed to please back in those dating days!), go somewhere you both used to enjoy going together - alone!, look at photos together of the "good ol'days", watch a favorite movie, or just simply sit together talking, listening, dreaming, holding hands, rubbing his back, and simply paying attention to the amazing husband of your youth! Treasure him this week!

Here's our dating story!

Keith and I met at church when I was 17. He went to a Christian school but came from a family who did not attend church regularly. I went to a public school but came from a family who never missed a Sunday at church. And our two worlds collided! It was not fireworks immediately as I had very high standards and knew exactly what I was looking for in my future husband. He made a fatal error on our first date - he took me to Aladdin (yep, remember I was only allowed to see G movies but that was not the error).

The error: HE HELD MY HAND! That crossed the line with me and I came home and told my mom - "nope that is not the man for me! He's too fast!" But alas, we went on a second date and at the end of the evening, as he was about to walk me to the door I said "I am not interested in a physical relationship, so if you are looking for that you won't find it here." I jumped out of the car - and ran into the house. lol! This memory cracks me up! Luckily, my husband is a man who embraces a challenge and that day I became one. He pursued me while respecting my wishes and so began the uniting of two souls as we fell in love and became best friends.
We attended prom together - had a dreamy summer and then off to college we went. I went to Chicago to attend the Moody Bible Institute and he went to Columbus to attend Ohio State University. And so began the beginning of a 4 year long distance relationship of letter writing (this was before cell phones and email - boy I sound old lol!). Remember how I mentioned my husband loves a challenge - well, dating long distance is indeed a challenge. He wrote me a letter EVERY SINGLE DAY for FOUR years of college! And every evening I wrote him a letter and on the way to classes in the morning, I dropped it in the mail box. I now have boxes and boxes and boxes of letters - I'm guessing there's at least 1,000 letters between the two of us I have saved! (Yes, he saved his too!)

Our summer's were filled with dreamy dates and our winters were filled with deep longings for one another. During quick weekend visits we would reconnect and then it would end with me in tears having to leave the man I loved so deeply. It was hard and long but we grew up together through this and finally college graduation came (graduation day below - woohoo! - finally no more goodbyes!). Our years of long distance dating taught us about the importance of communication, trust, loyalty, patience, praying for one another and leaning on Christ first to meet our needs above all.

Keith and I's ability to communicate (that includes listen) has been our greatest strength. But as I look back over our years of dating, I would say that the one lost art that we had mastered is the art of communicating through written words - letters. So this summer, I am going to work on writing letters once again to my husband expressing my appreciation, gratitude, admiration and love for him. And I'm gonna hide them beneath pillows, in the car, his laptop bag, etc.

It's your turn! If you have a blog - link up below and please link back in your blog post to this post. Tell me about those dating days and tell me what one thing you plan to work on regaining this summer to captivate your husband! A good relationship takes work, growth, unconditional love and 2 good forgivers.

One last thing, if you are singled or widowed, Jess over at The Space Between has begun a challenge just for singles mirroring Women Living Well's Marriage Challenge. Check it out!


Walk with the King!

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Blogger Muthering Heights said...

Awwww, this is such a sweet story!!! I love it!

June 13, 2010 at 11:12 PM  
Anonymous Brandy said...

OOOOOOPS!! I didn't mean to put my link through twice. I'm sorry, Courtney!

Yours is a SWEET story! Thanks for sharing!!

June 13, 2010 at 11:14 PM  
Blogger Nancy from OHIO said...

Beautiful Post! My husband and I had a two year long distance relationship. AND WE DID IT! We have lots of letters too. No cell phones or computers. We will be married 29 years this summer! Nancy from OHIO

June 14, 2010 at 6:48 AM  
Blogger Myra @ My Blessed Life said...

Courtney, you have such a sweet story!

My husband and I have known each other since we were 9 and 10. We had a long distance relationship also when I was in college. We have notebooks FULL of letters.

I think we might just get them out and read through.

Thank you for inspiring me!

June 14, 2010 at 8:06 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Love your dating story Courtney! My husband and I dated long distance while he was deployed to Iraq. I also have lots of letters - priceless! I am so encouraged by you and this challenge. Thank you for doing this!! I'm having fun thinking of all the things I can do for my sweetheart!

In His Love,

June 14, 2010 at 8:11 AM  
Blogger Jessica said...

What a great story! We have saved all of our letters to each other too. Such a special memory!

June 14, 2010 at 8:40 AM  
Blogger Jenny said...

I will have to come back and link up my blog post - wordpress is running very slow for me, but this is EXACTLY what my marriage needs!!

June 14, 2010 at 8:51 AM  
Anonymous Julie@comehaveapeace said...

Happy first day of the challenge. :) I'm not linked up, but I'm reading. Loved to hear your dating story, and I used the same verse about being captivating today in my post at Marriage Mondays! It's such a precious challenge to us as wives.

June 14, 2010 at 9:10 AM  
Blogger Julie Anne said...

arrghh! My scanner isn't working... might have to do the old "take pictures of my pictures" hopefully I will get the post up before the end of the week! :)

June 14, 2010 at 9:20 AM  
Blogger Stam House said...

What a sweet and beautiful story! I love how he respected your wishes and he was up for a challenge :-)

thanks for sharing this with us!!!

June 14, 2010 at 9:28 AM  
Blogger Lisa said...

My husband and I had a long distance relationship too. I still have all the letters as well!

June 14, 2010 at 9:42 AM  
Anonymous Julie@comehaveapeace said...

Thanks for linking this today to Marriage Mondays, Courtney. I almost forgot to put the link for the Marriage Challenge on today's post ... fixed it. :) I'm sure this will breathe fresh encouragement into marriages as women take the challenge.
~ Julie@comehaveapeace

June 14, 2010 at 10:06 AM  
Blogger Heather G. said...

I love your story Courtney! So sweet!

June 14, 2010 at 10:22 AM  
Blogger {The Classy Woman} said...

Your story is so sweet, I laughed when you mentioned jumping out of the car and running into the house. Good for you!

My hubby and I were dating long distance too before we got married, in two separate countries. It was very difficult but as a result were are better commnicators and I have fond memories of receiving lots of beautiful flower bouquets, post cards, note cards and letters from my now hubby. I kept them all. :)

We still write each other little note cards now and then and he writes me poetry which I always enjoy.


June 14, 2010 at 10:33 AM  
Blogger kristent1 said...

Such a sweet story Courtney! My husband and I also went through a long distance courtship, but fortunately we had email, cell phones and text messaging! It's wonderful that you have all of those letters to remember that special time in your relationship!

June 14, 2010 at 10:40 AM  
Blogger The Working Home Keeper said...

Found a link to your challenge at Buildeth Her House. I'm looking forward to reading more as this is an area I need to grow in as a wife.

Mary Ellen

June 14, 2010 at 11:16 AM  
Blogger Dani Joy said...

This looks like so much fun! I would love to join in!

Your story is so beautiful! Wow that is something that you made it 4 years through college having a long distance relationship. that´s call strong character for sure! I wasn´t that stong and we were going to the same college. LOL

I notice too that you were a brunette then. Now you are a blond. What made you change? I am somewhat a brunette but here in Spain everyone calls me blond and it´s starting to rub. I am wondering if I should go darker or like they say "if you can´t beat em join them." and just go blond. Everyone here wants to be blond. LOL

well, let´s see how much time I get this week to post our dating story.

Thanks for the encouragement to captivate our husbands.

Dani Joy
coming over from Nan´s Moms the Word blog

June 14, 2010 at 12:08 PM  
Blogger Traci Michele said...

You both are so cute! Loved your photos.

Thought of you as we drove home yesterday in the rain... and saw the Akron sign ;-)

June 14, 2010 at 12:10 PM  
Blogger Savannah said...

what a sweet story..and WOW all those letters, what a great keepsake. I just wrote my week 2 post, you can find it on my Ramblings blog in my profile!

June 14, 2010 at 1:19 PM  
Anonymous Debbie aka The Queen Mommy said...

Love your post and your sweet pictures! We did not get too many pictures of our dating time since it was so short - BUT what sweet memories! I've got a goodsized stack of cards and letters and even emails I printed off since much of our relationship was spent long distance. GOOD STUFF!

June 14, 2010 at 2:10 PM  
Blogger A Loved Wife said...

What a fun story and GREAT challenge! I had a blast going through our old photos and reminiscing about our beginning.

June 14, 2010 at 4:34 PM  
Anonymous Misty said...

What a beautiful love story!

Thanks for sharing... I am excited to get this challenge started in my own marriage. Tonight is my hubby's birthday, so his favorite meal is cooking away now, but I plan to do 2 more of his favorite meals this week. :)

Thanks again sweetie for challenging me to grow into the wife and mother God destined me to be.

June 14, 2010 at 5:21 PM  
Blogger Christen said...

What an awesome story! I applaud you for your high standards and for sharing them right from the start of your relationship! It is so neat that you have all those letters!

June 14, 2010 at 6:27 PM  
Anonymous jen at Soulfull Cafe said...

What a sweet story. I loved reading it and looking at your photos!
For the first day of the challenge, Chris and I are doing great! We had a wonderful evening together. I praise God for how he is working in all our hearts!
Bless you Courtney,

June 14, 2010 at 7:34 PM  
Blogger ~Amy~ said...

I loved your story! Thank you for leading this challenge! It has been such a blessing to me!
God Bless!

June 14, 2010 at 7:47 PM  
Blogger Nancy M. said...

What a great story! It was harder in those days to communicate quickly, it made loved ones seem so much further apart!

June 14, 2010 at 11:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love your story, Courtney! Chris and I met in college. I remember we both took the same class; he would sit near the front and I would sit in the back. He would turn around and look at me. He tells me that he told his friend back then (13 years before we were married) that he was going to marry me. We dated a bit, but stopped seeing each other shortly before he moved out of state. We reconnected via the internet in early 2000 (still in different states) and were married toward the end of the year. It was difficult being in two different states, but we did have email and cell phones. I have to admit I'm kind of sorry that we don't have any letters from that time period.

This summer, I'm going to make more of an effort to put the laptop down a bit more. I spend more time on it during the evening hours so I can get more accomplished after the kids go to sleep. I think he'll be pleasantly surprised.

June 15, 2010 at 12:20 AM  
Blogger mom-2-4 said...

My husband and I were highschool sweethearts as well, and I do remember that I always looked my best when he would come over to pick me up, and I wore perfume back then too. I bought my first bottle of perfume in many years recently because I know my dear husband loved it when I used to wear it. There's nothing like smelling lovely for your hubby- sparks start flying!
Julianne :)

June 15, 2010 at 4:15 PM  
Blogger ~Joann~ said...

Courtney~ loved your story and hope you treasure those letters as I am sure you will. I would love to participate in this challenge but right now if I add one more thing to my already overflowing plate I think I will just go bonkers. I will be reading all your posts and others and maybe as the weeks go by I can join in with you all.

June 15, 2010 at 5:35 PM  
Blogger Mrs. Joseph Wood said...

What a neat testimony! I love to hear of God's work in His people's lives! Praise God!

June 15, 2010 at 5:42 PM  
Blogger Mrs. Joseph Wood said...

By the way, after all these years I still write my husband love notes. In fact one of the children found a love note I had written him a few years back tucked into his tool box. When they showed it to him his face lite up and he said, "Oh where did you find that? I laid it down and didn't remember where I put it." He explained how important it was to them and gave them orders to put it in his closet. They came to me with a smile, showing me a well read note worn and ink that had bleed through the page and said, "Daddy sure does love you momma!" It is so important that our children see our love displayed for one another!!
Okay, I must get back to my projects.
With much love,
Mrs. Joseph Wood

June 15, 2010 at 5:46 PM  
Blogger Mariah said...

I'm joining in, I can't link up, because it's full. but just thought I'd make my presence known, somehow, haha :D


June 18, 2010 at 2:42 AM  
Blogger Dani Joy said...

You know what, my link is there! ok. sorry about that. I know you are so busy with this. NOrmally I see the link up right away and it wasn´´t there and it said it had been closed. Must have been something else.

Just glad I made it in! was planning it all week.


Big hug
Dani Joy

June 20, 2010 at 3:34 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I know I linked up but for some reason it's not there now?! Hopefully my wedding one sticks!

June 25, 2010 at 3:10 PM  
Anonymous becca banana said...

Just added my dating days post!

June 28, 2010 at 11:06 AM  
Blogger Jan said...

I loved this story! It is so inspiring!

July 1, 2010 at 7:30 PM  
Blogger Kori said...

I'm doing this way after the fact and not keeping up well, but since the linking is closed, I thought I would just attach my link the comment.

Thanks, Courtney, for setting marriage at the forefront. You are an inspiration!

September 22, 2010 at 5:12 AM  

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