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Women Living Well Blog: Do You Like Being a Wife?

Women Living Well Blog

Monday, January 18, 2010

Do You Like Being a Wife?

I am joining Julie over at Come, Have a Peace for Marriage Mondays!

Last Wednesday, Oprah's topic was "Marriage Around the World", so I DVR'd it with interest. When Elizabeth Gilbert (Author of Eat, Pray, Love) came on, she shared her "insightful" view on marriage which Oprah endorsed. "She predicts the dawn of a new kind of American marriage that she dubbed the "wifeless marriage." "All my best friends want to be married," she said, "But none of them wants to be a wife. "That's because being a wife is a sucky job."(please excuse the foul word *The Washington Scene Website.)

Is this what we have come to in America? No one wants to be a wife? We now want "wifeless marriages"? This cultural lie is the underlying root of many of our marital troubles and will cause our daughters to fall into the pit of despair if we do not teach them this is false and from the enemy. This lie that a "wifeless marriage" is better than doing the job of a wife encourages our daughters to:

1. Cohabitate with the man they love, rather than marry him, thus breaking God's commands to not have relations outside of marriage.

2. If our daughters do marry, it discourages them from taking on the traditional role of a wife - remember it's a sucky job!

3. If our daughters do take on the traditional role of being a wife... there's a stigma. You have the job that nobody wants!

A "wifeless marriage" is a perverted view of the glorious role God has ordained women to hold in marriage! And it's a sad trend we face today as there are less wives now than there have ever been, due to cohabitation and divorce.

Do you like being a wife? Is it a precious title you hold? If you are married and you do not like this title, you WILL face marital troubles. Because your husband needs a wife, not another husband in the marriage.

According to Proverbs 31:10 - A good wife is of exceptional worth. We hold a vital role in the life of our husbands. God said in Genesis 2:18 "It is not good for a man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him." There is nothing on earth more fulfilling than the intimacy I share with my husband and the day our wedding bells rang - I was thrilled to be receiving the title "wife".

I refuse to be scorned by this culture. The idea of a "wifeless marriage" causes social confusion, discontentment and dissatisfaction in women and I will not surrender to this fallacy! God created the woman with her heart rooted in helping her husband. He has given us the innate abilities to be caretakers and home builders and when a woman builds her house in wisdom and has a husband who like the Proverbs 31 woman, rises and calls her blessed she has achieved the finest accomplishment on earth for God's glory.

So wives, embrace your noble and holy role and do not surrender to the enemy's lies!

Walk with the King!

Check out other Marriage Monday posts here and Fresh Year Fresh Start posts here.

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Blogger Suzanne said...

Good Morning Courtney,
What a wonderful post. I happen to love being a wife...and mother...staying home to teach and raise my children. I truly feel blessed to have these titles;

On another note...tell your little ballerina to start practicing her twirls because she just won a tutu!!! How funny...this is the 3rd giveaway I've had where the random number generator picked the last entry. I'm happy it was you..and your little girl. Email me sometime with an address and the age/basic size of your little girl and her tutu will be on it's way.
Have a wonderful day!

January 18, 2010 at 7:57 AM  
Blogger The Mommy said...

Thank you for sharing this post. I have always wanted to be a wife and a mom when I was little. Now that I'm older I realize it is a much harder job than I anticipated but I wouldn't trade if for anything.

This post made me realize what an aweful example I am being to my daughter when I complain about my wife/mom duties. I want her to see me doing this without complaining and with a smile. Thanks again.

January 18, 2010 at 9:33 AM  
Blogger Mandi Miller said...

That is CRAZY! I love being a wife! As hard as it is sometimes I couldn't imagine doing anything else. Thanks for sharing this!

January 18, 2010 at 10:15 AM  
Blogger Mom24Blessings said...

Wow....this is so sad! Being a wife is hard work but there is nothing wrong with working hard. When you see your husband and children as the blessings God intended them to be its easy to serve them the way God intended. Sadly, my eyes get focused on ME and I forget the wonderful gift of a husband/children God gave me. Remembering this verse helps me so much. Hebrews 12:2..Let us fix our eyes on Jesus the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the JOY set before him endured the cross, despised the shame and set down at the right hand of God.

Kelly C.

January 18, 2010 at 10:35 AM  
Anonymous tiny twig said...

wow--what she said has some pretty serious implications. i love being a wife...but i do understand that the world has perverted even that. a lot of women don't know the JOY of being a wife, just the burden...and that's where these claims come from.

it's sad and unfortunate, but its just another way that the body of Christ needs to show godly examples of happy, healthy, and whole wives.

thanks for bringing this to light. :)

January 18, 2010 at 10:35 AM  
Anonymous Julie@comehaveapeace said...

Courtney, thanks for joining me in the first "open" Marriage Mondays. I'm so glad you jumped in. A "wifeless" marriage is truly a sad and hollow idea, really missing out on so much of what God has to offer through His gift of marriage.

I love being a wife and consider it a title of honor.

January 18, 2010 at 10:58 AM  
Blogger Stacie said...

Thank you for taking the time to write this post.

It saddens me that so many women in today's society frown upon the beautiful relationship of husband and wife as God intended it to be.

I love being a wife and a stay-at-home Mom. In fact, I feel blessed to be a wife and a Mom. I pray for these women that do not feel the role of wife is worthy.

Thank you again for sharing this.

January 18, 2010 at 11:33 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Makes NO sense! So...who does she expect to be setting the tone for a home? Who is supposed to be teaching the children? Maids and daycare?...does this mean she doesn't mind if her husband doesn't fulfill his role either? I choose to love honor and cherish, I choose to teach my children in the way they should go. I'm so blessed that my husband knows his heart can safely trust in me and my children will one day rise up and call me blessed because they know they are a joy and a delight, not a BURDEN to me! <3

January 18, 2010 at 12:21 PM  
Blogger Wordy Wife said...

I don't get it. You're a married woman who doesn't want to be a wife? By default, you already are. That's the word used for a married woman.

January 18, 2010 at 3:12 PM  
Blogger kimmy said...

This does not surprise me one bit!! Women today are selfish and have a "me" attitude where its all about them and what they can attain on their own. This is completely a feminist thing and nothing new to me..just a name for it now. Of course its a "sucky" job to someone who's heart is selfish, unloving, and most of all prideful. No surprise the divorce rate is climbing with attitudes like this. I hope these poor husbands know what they are getting when they go to marry them:(
I like what the other girl said about wondering"if the husbands have to fulfill their roles"...seems like a problem if everyone is looking out for themselves.
Also I happen to think that the role of the husband is waaay harder so maybe men should just stop working and providing for their families b/c they have such a crappy role....

January 18, 2010 at 4:13 PM  
Anonymous Michelle said...

That really is sad. Would the same "wifeless wives" prefer that their husbands feel the same way about their husbandly roles?

Just a word about the idolized Oprah: There was an article in our paper a couple of weeks ago about how one woman decided to follow Oprah's advice to the tee for an entire year.

She said that at he end of the year she was insecure, self-conscious and her husband was even less happy because of the changes in her.

Further more, her advice was often contradictory. What she promoted one week often contradicted what she promoted the week before!

We really need to guard our hearts against this type of mind poison if we want a happy marriage!

January 18, 2010 at 5:16 PM  
Anonymous Tricia said...

I would not trade being a wife for anything in this world. I love being a wife.

I am so proud to say that yes I belong to my husband. I am my husbands wife. Just the word wife makes butterflies in my stomach.

I pray that with what I am teaching my daughter she too will love to be a wife.

There are days where I want to pull my hair out run in the bathroom lock the door and turn the shower on full blast so I can't hear anything but those are the days that I end up loving the most because I pray to God and he opens my eyes and shows me how truly blessed I am.

January 18, 2010 at 6:53 PM  
Blogger METAL.MOMMA said...

This post hits me hard! My own mother is a feminist and sees her marriage to my dad as a trap. The way she always complained has really hurt my own relationship with my Husband. I love being a wife and Mother. I would do anything to be at home with my ds everyday!!!! I hope I will show him what a wife and mother should look like in God's way.
Blessings and Thanks for your words,

January 18, 2010 at 10:49 PM  
Blogger gail said...

I so agree with you. To be a wife is wonderful and it brings peace and joy to my husband and my life. I would say also that its not always easy but I'm working on that.

Blessings Gail

January 18, 2010 at 11:30 PM  
Anonymous Laurel@FromMyHeartToYours said...

Courtney - THANK YOU for posting this. Good food for thought!

I LOVE being a wife. When I was a little girl, all I dreamed of was becoming a wife and a Mom...and doing so on a farm. I guess I have all of my dreams now.

I wear my role as a wife around my neck, like precious gems...necklaces of diamonds set in precious gold. Nothing is sweeter to me, than being a wife to the man I adore!

That is why it is so important to share your heart when you are a godly wife, a Titus woman - keep touching hearts Courtney!

Love from Canada

January 19, 2010 at 11:40 AM  
Blogger Joshlin said...

This is one great post! I really love that there are others who think this way. I LOVE being a Wife! I love every part of it.

I don't know why others would want to go and have a marriage without a Wife in it. It makes me wonder what kind of kayos is going on in those house holds. Are those marriages really happy ones?

My family life was more that way as I was growing up, and now the marriage no longer and growing up no one was happy. Now I am as happy as I could ever imagine being!

January 19, 2010 at 12:15 PM  
Blogger Heather Simpson said...

I love being a wife!I want to encourage wives to reclaim the ground that we have lost...we need not be shy to share the joys of a wife with other ladies. We need to offer Biblical counseling to struggling wives and we need to train our daughters to be content with God's BEST !A Wife is Honorable in the eyes of our LORD!I would recommend Return of the Daughters DVD if you have not seen it. You can order it from Vision Forum. We can make a Difference!

January 19, 2010 at 10:55 PM  
Blogger quartermom said...

every time i watch oprah here and there i always end up feeling like i have to say this is a lie. she is such a demonizer of things that are good. as far as the wifeless marriage goes, Oprah herself lives with her man. She doesn't believe in marriage. I would hate to see what that life is like. Very selfish I'm sure. Anyway we can only control our personal ventures in our walks with God. I shouldn't judge. But this is so annoying b/c it is such a misfortune for young woman out there who are trying to make their marriages work. Marriage is hard and thank you for sharing this post. We have to realize men are different. THey aren't our girlfriends. They are creatures all their own. And beautiful in their own right. We have to love our men. They are loyal to ONE woman that they love. I'm serious. A man wants you to love him and nurture him. Go love on your man tonight. Thanks!

January 20, 2010 at 9:49 PM  
Anonymous Alyssa Avant said...


Honestly, I am in shock. This is HORRIBLE! OF course I love being a wife, isn't this the job every little girl dreamed of? I can't believe that someone would want to do away with this role.

it makes me wonder if they'll come up with a mother-less motherhood next?

What has the world come to?

January 24, 2010 at 11:11 AM  

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