The Quest For the Perfect Holiday

We were newlyweds. I had never cut down a real Christmas tree so when Keith suggested that we cut one down it sounded exciting! I was gung-ho ready to go in my pretty boots, pretty coat, and fancy matching gloves, scarf and ear muffs.

We drove to the tree farm and I hopped out of the car ready to go in search of the perfect tree. Wow - they were all so gorgeous - I found the perfect one within 15 minutes. So I declared "this is it!" I was smiling ear to ear just dreaming of this tree in our house. What a delight! My husband pulled out his measuring tape, measured it, "too short". Bummer.

5 minutes later I found the one! "This is it!" Again Keith began to measure - this time it had a crooked base. Bummer. "Well, how about this one?" "No" he answered, "that one has a nasty bare spot." "We can turn it to the corner" I suggest. "No." We walk on... and on....and on - an hour passes.

We come to a muddy spot and I'm a little annoyed to step my pretty boot into the muddy spot but I do - but not without grumbling. I suggest another tree - and again - it's not the right one. Now I'm starting to feel irritated, cold and deflated...we walk on...and we continue the cycle - I suggest a tree, he finds the flaw.

Keith decides that the type of trees in our section were the wrong type of tree - he preferred the Douglas Firs which were way over the hill and very far from the car but we went....went in search of the perfect Christmas tree.

We walk and walk and walk and finally Keith finds the suitable tree! It's the right height, has the right base, no bare spots and he tells me "stand by it" while he goes to check and see if there are any better ones a few rows over.

So, there I stood...tick tock tick tock...annoyed...it's now been nearly three hours looking for the perfect tree. Suddenly out of no where - a ferocious barking dog appeared and my husband was NO where in sight. I left the tree in search of my hubby. When I found him my patience was long gone, I was practically in tears and I said "honey, there is no such thing as a perfect tree - just pick one - I want to go home."

Poor guy. He truly wanted to pick the perfect tree for me. He was willing to tramp around in the freezing cold to find the perfect one to adorn our home. But what he didn't realize was that I wasn't looking for the perfect tree. It was the moment itself that was so exciting! Being outdoors with my husband cutting down a tree and dragging it home was the memorable moment I was hoping to make. But in his quest for perfection the dreamy moment was ruined.

Are you as wives and mothers trying to create the perfect holiday for your family? Are you stressed over trying to figure out how to make it perfect, memorable, special, meaningful and more. STOP. You might just ruin it for everyone if you are too focused on the details and missing the whole point of the actual experience together.

The holidays are a special time to make memories. The memories don't have to be perfect or grand. Actually, the memories I seem to remember from childhood are the ones where everything went wrong and now we laugh about it! It's the tradition of being together year after year that builds security and love within the family.

Typically, women plan most of the events on the calendar for the holidays. Have you asked your husband what he wants his holiday to be like? Maybe he wants it to be restful and go no where and you want to have a revolving door of people over. This is going to cause friction.

Communication is key. Find out what his expectations are and share with him some of your expectations. Had I realized when we went looking for a Christmas tree that it would take 3 hours to find the tree and I needed to wear old grubby clothes - my expectations would have been set and I could have enjoyed my time picking the Christmas tree. But instead, I expected to find it quickly and be on our merry way! My expectations for Christmas tree shopping have officially changed because this is how my husband enjoys shopping for a tree.

Let your quest for perfection go. Thanksgiving should be a simple holiday. Give your children more than a memory of a frazzled mom who had a perfectly set table and meal. Give them the memory of giving thanks. There are many ways you can do this:

1. Make a thankful chain and have everyone write on slips of paper things they are thankful for and hang the chain as decoration.

2. Go around the table and focus on each person. Have others share 2-3 things they are thankful for in that person.

3. Put out a jar and encourage your family to put in slips of paper with things they are thankful for all week long. When Thursday comes pull the pieces of paper out and read them together. Pray and give thanks.

4. Do a word study in the Bible on the word "thanks". Read these verses out loud together.

5. Read George Washington's or Abraham Lincoln's Proclamations of Thanksgiving.

6. Sing praises together to the Lord.

Ps. 34:3 "O magnify the Lord with me, And let us exalt His name together."

Walk with the King!

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