Women Living Well Blog

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

10 Things I Wish I Knew Before I Became a Mother

Women of Faith is asking Bloggers to share their List of 10 things they wish we knew before we became mothers - so here's my list!

1. I was going to have a boy! I had all sisters - so having a boy has opened an entire new world to me!!!

2. That the child throwing a tantrum in the middle of the grocery store would one day be MY child! I so thought I would never allow my child to do such a thing. And well - I didn't allow them to - but they did it anyway!!! lol!

3. That you can't make a kid sleep. You can make them stay in their bed but you can't make them sleep!

4. You can't make a kid eat. You can make them sit in their chair until the sun sets but you can't make them eat. Thus we implemented the "no thank you bite" rule. Take one no thank you bite of everything on your plate and then you can leave the table with no snacks for the rest of the evening.

5. You can't make a kid go "potty". You can make them sit on it - but not release it! So frustrating!

6. That when I left my children for a fun weekend away I would miss them so much! And they seem to become even more beautiful while I'm gone!

7. That it would be SO fun to home school them - I NEVER planned to home school! I grew up in the public school all 12 years - shared my faith regularly and liked my experience. My plan was to raise my children to be lights in the public school. Someday that will happen - but first I'm gonna keepem' close to me. I'm really enjoying this season of life with them.

8. That I would feel so guilty for mistakes I make in parenting. If I ponder my flaws too long, I end up being a puddle on the floor!

9. That it would take more patience than I had. Good parenting takes A LOT of patience and gentleness! Something I am still working on!

10. That I would get angry with my children and yell. Surprise! I didn't know I had a temper until my son turned 2! The first time I felt my face get hot and I raised my voice, I was shocked at myself! One of the BEST things I have ever done for my family was to participate in the Good Morning Girls Gentleness Challenge. During that time, I found some mastery over my temper. I worked the entire summer of 2009 on this Godly trait and though it is something I will have to continually work on - I have come a long way!

So it's your turn - tell me in the comments section something you wish you had known before you became a mother!

Walk with the King!

Labels: Parenting

16 Comments:

Bevy @ Treasured Up and Pondered said...: I had to laugh - especially at number 10. SO RELATABLE!!

Actually, I'm so in the throws of all of these...

((sigh)); April 14, 2010 at 4:09 PM
Meg P said...: I have just recently stumbled upon your blog, and have spent (an embarrassing number of) hours going through your old posts!
I'm not usually one to comment, but I couldn't pass on this one! Number 8, 9, and 10 really resonated with me as they've ALL been heavy issues on my heart this week. I feel like I've never had so little patience before (can I chalk it up to being VERY pregnant??), and therefore have never yelled so much, resulting in so much guilt!
It is refreshing to hear another mother (one who I've really grown to respect) admit struggling in these areas.

The one I appreciated most, though, was #4. My 3 year old has just begun to boycott eating at ALL meals, and my husband and I have really been struggling to meet in the middle on how to handle this. We've had some very stressful evenings this week, a few of which have left me in tears! What a fabulous idea -- the "no thank you bite" rule!!! Why didn't I think of that?! I'm so excited to run it by my husband, and hopefully try it out tonight!

Thank you so much for your ministry!!; April 14, 2010 at 4:15 PM
Brenda said...: 1. No one can measure the amount of love your heart can hold for your child.

2. The days are long but the years are VERY SHORT.

3. Yes, the temper throwing child, would never be my child - ya right!

4. Patience and gentleness is a necessity - I never had much patience until I became a mom. Now I am learning that virture everyday.

5. Let Dad care for their children "THEIR WAY." If you stand over them critizing how they do everything they will never want to help again!

6. Make sure to laugh a lot - it helps relieve stress and make for a happier home. I tend to get too serious sometimes.

7. Rarely, will you recieve compliments as to how good a mother you are. My friends and I call each other often and send notes that say "your a great mom and you are doing a wonderful job!"

8. As a mother who works full-time and a person is is slightly OCD - I will never be able to accomplish and be ALL to everyone. But the only requirement I need to fullfill as a child of God is to love as Jesus loved. If you let guilt and anxiety overtake your spirit then you will not be able to love as God intended. Giving love is the greatest gift a mother can give. So be free from the guilt and love. Your whole home will be transformed.

9. Taking trips with your husband and friends without the children is a must for your sanity and you will come home feeling refreshed and they will have missed you too.

10. The appreciation you will have for your own mother and her sacrifices will not be completely understood until you are a mother and only then can you fully appreciate all she has done for you and your family.; April 14, 2010 at 4:26 PM
Courtney (Women Living Well) said...: Meg - let me encourage you by saying #1 pregnancy does affect our mood and exhaustion level so hang in there!!!

#2 The great part of the no thank you bite is SOMETIMES they take their "one" bite and if I don't say anything - they'll take 5 more! Woohoo!

Also, research says children have to taste some things 20 times before acquiring a taste - so hopefully by the 20th no thank you bite they learn to like it :-)!

We decided that the food issue was not going to be a hill to die on - it makes precious meal time miserable and we want it to be a sweet time of open communication and connection not misery! So if there is any meal time training, I do it at lunch when daddy's not there so it doesn't ruin family time.

Also, I do allow a piece of bread and butter on nights when I know that they are going to refuse everything on their plate (some meals are predictable - but I'm not going to stop serving them because mommy and daddy like them :-)!

Hope this helps!
Courtney; April 14, 2010 at 4:28 PM
Joshlin said...: #3,4,& 10 are on the top of my list!!! Every day I find something I never thought of before. Like how attached he would be to me, and how I wouldn't have any family to help me. I always expected to have my family want to babysit and spend time with him. Silly me. I don't have a mother and my mother-in-law is not a boy kid of person.; April 14, 2010 at 6:59 PM
Susan said...: 1. That their childhoods really would go by SO quickly . . . and believed it!

2. That I would be so fiercely protective. I try not to let it interfere with good sense, but I hurt when they hurt and see red when they are mistreated. I've managed not to make a fool of myself, though! ;)

3. That their teen years would be wonderful! I dreaded them, but they turned out to be great, thanks to consistent training in their early years.

4. That it would be so hard to be consistent in their training! LOL; April 14, 2010 at 9:43 PM
Unknown said...: Yes, patience is needed in abundance for parents! Hehe! =); April 14, 2010 at 9:46 PM
Unknown said...: My 10 things:

1. That even though I knew the signs I would not recognize PPD once it hit.

2. That I don't need any child-rearing books, other than my Bible.

3. That even though this is what I've always wanted, there would be times I'd want to strangle them.

4. That I'd have a hard time not giving unsolicited advice to pregnant women.

5. That I could love someone so unconditionally.

6. That through this I'd develop the fruits of the spirit...the hard way.

7. That I'd have to be willing and committed to giving up my wants in order to fulfull their needs. I struggle with this daily!

8. That I'd one day actually look forward to getting a mini-van!

9. That it is better to teach self-control and boundaries than put everything out of reach!

10. That spanking really would hurt me more than them.; April 14, 2010 at 10:07 PM
Anonymous said...: The biggest thinks I have learned from my children. Is never take anything for grant it. And to celebrate even the smallest of accomplishment. I have 3 children (one has alot of special needs and a second has alot of medical issues).; April 14, 2010 at 11:37 PM
kimmy said...: I looove yours b/c they are all so true!! I dont think any mom knows how hard parenting is going to be until they experience it!

Heres mine:

How much disciplining would be involved and how hard it would be to be consistant with it!

How I could love my job as mom and hate it all at the same time some days!!But in the end I am always thankful for it!

That she could make me cry with frustration and smile with joy within 10 seconds of each other...I have learned what true unconditional love really is!!

That my child could be so completely opposite of me in almost every way!

To appreciate those early days when all they do is sleep..even when they are getting up 5 times a night to eat!

That I would be pregnant with twins! Biggest shock of all!lol

I am also finding #10 to be extremely difficult these days..I'm gonna try to blame it on the pregnancy hormones as well!! But truly I just need to chill out a little...; April 15, 2010 at 9:15 AM
Daenel T. said...: Your list made me chuckle. Having children really does make you realize how hard you can laugh, cry, worry, pray and everything in between.; April 15, 2010 at 10:11 AM
Anna said...: #8, #8, #8. I had heard of "mommy guilt" but never knew how real it was until I became a mom!

My son is 2 months old, so I'm still working on my own list. *grin*; April 15, 2010 at 11:08 AM
Dusty (To the Moon and Back) said...: I love your list! I, too, naively thought that my kid would NEVER be that one that threw the tantrum in the store. Well, needless to say, two kids in, I've had my fair share of those embarrassing experiences!

I also homeschool(although I'm a newbie) and I am wonderfully surprised by how much I enjoy it!; April 15, 2010 at 11:09 AM
Traylor Branch Farm said...: Yeah, that kid in the store is mine, too! I referred to your comment on my post :); April 16, 2010 at 2:57 PM
YvonnePierce said...: I really admire you for homeschooling. We are prayerfully considering homeschooling our 10 year old at this time. Though fearful, I am hoping it will be the Lord's will. I have never "not worked" outside the home so it will be a HUGE adjustment for all of us - from time to finances. Do you have any archived posts on homeschooling?

Have a blessed day!
Yvonne; April 19, 2010 at 9:16 AM
Courtney (Women Living Well) said...: Yvonne,

I have not written on homeschooling yet. Someday I'll get to it lol!!!

One GREAT homeschooling website I can refer you to is:

http://heartofthematteronline.com/

And my favorite mommy/blogger homeschooler is:

http://amomentwithmom.blogspot.com/

When I get a little more experience under my belt maybe then I'll write about it - I still feel like I am learning and growing in this area. I absolutely love homeschooling!

Courtney; April 19, 2010 at 11:12 AM

Women Living Well Blog

: Name: Courtney (Women Living Well); Location: Ohio, United States

I am a stay-at-home home schooling mom of 2, a son (age 8) and a daughter (6). I have been married to Keith, my high school sweet heart, for 13 years. My passion to know God and share him with others led me to the Moody Bible Institute where I graduated with a degree in Evangelism and Discipleship. Last year, I appeared on the Rachael Ray Show as a 1950's Housewife. To learn more about me visit my "About Me" page.

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Wednesday, April 14, 2010

10 Things I Wish I Knew Before I Became a Mother

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