Women Living Well Blog

Monday, March 15, 2010

Respectfully Changing Our Husband's Opinion

Last week I blogged about My Movie Standards. In response, I had a lot of wives asking, "how do I change my husband's standards?" Here's my 5 minute answer.

Walk with the King!

Labels: Marriage, Videos

20 Comments:

M's Family Blogs said...: Well said, Courtney. It took me sooooo long to see that this was what I should do when differences crop up. It was so encouraging to hear in your video blog that I wasn't the only wife that believed this was how to handle differences. :-D

I still mess up sometimes by being 'Holy Spirit Number 2"! (LOL as if God didn't know how to get to my husband's heart...so he must need my help!)

Susan; March 15, 2010 at 7:53 AM
René said...: What a great reminder! Thank you! I needed it so much. I agree w/Susan, I find myself often trying to give God direction. STOP THAT René. LOL.

I did also view the link you had for Deanna (mismatched marriage). Do you have anything that focus' on "mismatched marriages, therefore severly different mismatched parenting".

Prayers,
*´¨)
¸.•´¸.•*´¨)
(¸.• René ¸.•*´ ¨)
( ¸.•´ ( ¸.•* (¸.•´; March 15, 2010 at 8:43 AM
Unknown said...: Good Answer! Imagine how many arguments we can avoid with our husbands if we would first pray. The holy spirit will convict him if correction needs to be made.; March 15, 2010 at 8:49 AM
Regina Coblentz said...: I started reading "Created to be his helpmeet" which was recommended by some of your followers and I do enjoy reading that book but last night while reading one of the chapters I started feeling like a woman has no say so in what decisions the husband wants to do. Then I listened to your blog and it helped clear up some of my discouragement. You said that sometimes a husband does need help from us for advice, wisdom, etc., then pray and let the holy spirit convict him. For a minute there I think I misunderstood what the author was really trying to say. I'm glad I listened to your blog this morning. Makes things much clearer.; March 15, 2010 at 8:51 AM
Anonymous said...: I totally agree! But I do have a question - Say that I am watching tv with my husband AND children and something comes on that I really don't feel comfortable with my children watching but my husband doesn't change the channel? Do I tell my children to leave? How can I do that respectfully?; March 15, 2010 at 9:18 AM
Unknown said...: Very well said Courtney. It took me some time to learn this cause like you said we like to talk. Thanks for the great reminder that we can still be respectful and voice our opinion.

Much love
Sonya; March 15, 2010 at 10:17 AM
Anonymous said...: Courtney- I thoroughly enjoy your blogs- especially "Marriage Mondays". Your video blog today really hit home with me. So often, I find myself being critical of my husband; telling him what he should watch/not watch or what he should say/or not say. I have been guilty of taking a self righteous approach with him, instead of using a soft and gentle approach and praying for God's intercession. Thank you for helping me to see that I am not winning my husband over by this approach.

Once again, I say thank you for your biblical wisdom and insight, and I thank God for how He is using you to help us women live Godly lives. Have a blessed day!; March 15, 2010 at 10:56 AM
Courtney (Women Living Well) said...: Dear Anonymous,

When something comes on the television that my husband is watching but I think is questionable for the kids I do pipe up. I usually say "I'm not sure if that's good for the kids to see."

If he does not change it - I do not superceed his authority in front of the children. (Although, It may be a good time to invite the kids to play a game of Uno or something if it's a long show!) If it was something that really troubled me - when the kids are in bed I talk to him about it. If he does not see it from my point of view - I pray.

Courtney; March 15, 2010 at 10:59 AM
Courtney (Women Living Well) said...: That last response is for anonymous #1! :-); March 15, 2010 at 11:00 AM
Courtney (Women Living Well) said...: Rene - I'm sorry I don't have anything further on mismatched parenting. The only passage that comes to mind is I Peter 3. "Winning your husband by your purity and reverence."

In parenting, though your husband may be lost he still is the head of your home and should be treated as such. What he says goes unless it goes against God's written word.

As long as he allows you to read God's word to your children, pray with them and take them to church, I would trust that God will protect your children as their father may lead them sometimes in a different direction.

Always speak respectfully and lovingly of your husband even when you don't agree - one day your children will look back and see that though you did not agree - you always followed God's word in respecting him.

I am sure he is a good man - praise him in the areas that he is worthy of praise and pray for him in the areas where he desperately needs prayer.

He is lucky to be married to a praying woman! If you are faithful in obeying God's word and prayer, God can use you as the tool to change your husband's heart - don't get in the way of the Holy Spirit!

Walk with the King!
Courtney; March 15, 2010 at 11:15 AM
BeechemBrightSpots said...: Thank you so much for your wisdom & reminders that we need to respect our husbands & sometimes just keep our mouths quiet. Your blog is so inspirational to me! I needed this today as we had a disagreement just this morning. After 15 years of marriage, you'd think I'd learn but I'm a little stubborn. :) Thank you again! Kim; March 15, 2010 at 1:10 PM
Queen Los said...: thanks for stopping by my blog the other day!

I love this post.. my motto is Say it, then pray it! Because i have to be careful or i easily start to nag!; March 15, 2010 at 2:38 PM
Julie@comehaveapeace said...: Thanks for linking up to Marriage Mondays, Courtney. Your topic today is one that I know so many wives wrestle with, and it can become a real source of bitterness. I appreciate your practical and Biblical advice for dealing with this dicey issue.; March 15, 2010 at 2:59 PM
comfy cozy said...: What a wonderful post!! I couldn't agree more with everything you said!

Thank you so much.; March 15, 2010 at 4:01 PM
Joy @ SAH Missionary said...: I love it! I love your way of sharing truth in a way that people can hear and understand it!
I love watching your vlogs...I think I may need to do some more of these...
Blessings!!
Joy; March 15, 2010 at 5:12 PM
Ice Cream Lady said...: Thank you Courtney,
I definitely need to start watching my tone more closely. I think the disrespectful, judgmental behviour my kids see me exhibit must be far worse than anything they've been exposed to from my husband's tv habits. You have such a gentle and truthful way of convicting me. Thanks for taking the time to address my question.; March 16, 2010 at 12:34 AM
Traci Michele said...: I heart this post! Praise the Lord for the truth of His Word!

Thank you for being so bold and honest, yet loving, about how we need and are commanded to RESPECT our hubby!

I wrote a post awhile back entitled Drip Drop Drip Drop:

http://ordinaryinspirations.blogspot.com/2009/06/drip-drop-drip-drop.html

Have a wonderful sunny Tuesday!

Traci; March 16, 2010 at 4:10 PM
Denise said...: Thanks for sharing! What a great reminder for me. Just tonight I was critical of my husband for something rather than holding it in and letting the Holy Spirit be his guide. What a difference it makes in how we say things and that we don't keep on saying them, as if he didn't hear the first time.; March 18, 2010 at 11:56 PM
Heather said...: I am new to your blog and was watching all of your old videos. Just curious as to why you removed this video. I read all of the comments and I too have difficulty in this area. Would love to hear your advice!
Heather; May 8, 2011 at 10:17 PM
Courtney (Women Living Well) said...: Oops - I removed the video and not the post - I need to do this! I redid this video and titled it "how to communicate your needs to your husband." In that video and post I explained that I had not explained as fully as I would have liked on this video. You can find the new video along my sidebar.

Courtney; May 11, 2011 at 9:44 PM

Women Living Well Blog

: Name: Courtney (Women Living Well); Location: Ohio, United States

I am a stay-at-home home schooling mom of 2, a son (age 8) and a daughter (6). I have been married to Keith, my high school sweet heart, for 13 years. My passion to know God and share him with others led me to the Moody Bible Institute where I graduated with a degree in Evangelism and Discipleship. Last year, I appeared on the Rachael Ray Show as a 1950's Housewife. To learn more about me visit my "About Me" page.

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Monday, March 15, 2010

Respectfully Changing Our Husband's Opinion

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