Parenting: How to Get First Time Obedience

Training your children to obey the first time you ask them to do something is not for the faint at heart! It is very hard work to train your children to obey "right away, all the way, with a cheerful heart." This used to be a little saying that we used with the children when they were toddlers. I have found that often my children will obey - just not right away. Or if they do it right away - it's not with a cheerful heart but with some whining and stomping of feet.

So I read of a method in two different books of "how to get first time obedience." The Ezzo's say that teaching your children to say "yes mommy" or "yes daddy" after you've given them directions - help to solve the authority issue right in the moment. Usually once a child says "yes mommy", their will has submitted to you and they will follow through with obedience. If they are not willing to say "yes mommy" - then right there you know that there is some training that needs to be done (or consequences coming!).

Also, I have found that the kids use the excuse that they "did not hear me" as a reason for disobedience. But requiring your child to say "yes mommy" solves that problem - you know they heard you and now they are responsible for their actions.

The Duggars (family with 18 children) also require their children to say "yes mommy" and they play a little game regularly to train or remind their kids of this rule. So this week - my children entered "yes mommy/daddy" boot camp!

Here's how our game worked: Every time you say "yes mommy" you get to take one nickel out of the middle jar and put it into your own jar. When all the nickels are gone from the center jar we'll have enough money to go out for small ice cream cones at Dairy Queen. So this week - "yes mommy" could be heard for EVERYTHING!!! It was a wonderful thing to hear those nickels dropping into their jars!!! They were eager for me to give them some directions just so they could say those magic 2 words "yes mommy!" and earn a nickel.

So they filled their jars quite quickly and the children got their reward. I have emptied the jars and we are going to do it again - but this time there are some new ground rules - they get a nickel every time they say "yes mommy" but they lose a nickel every time they disobey! This will be a bit more challenging for them and I don't expect their jars to fill quite as quickly.

God tells us in Ephesians 6:1 "Children obey your parents in the Lord for this is right." It is our job as parents to train our children to obey God by obeying us - so make it fun! Be creative! If you have any creative ways that you have done "first time obedience training" - please share in the comments section!

Walk with the King!

http://www.womenlivingwell.org/