Equality in Marriage




4 years ago at St. Josephs Beach in Michigan

 This quote below is taken from Girl Talk Blogs. 


I LOVE it so much I had to share it with you all!

"I once had a lively discussion with a brother who insisted that in his relationship everything was equal, and that this was the hallmark of their marriage. To him equal meant same and therefore interchangeable. He proudly rejected the idea of male initiation and female response. And what is more, he thought he was serving the cause of women in this.

I responded by saying that in my marriage, my wife and I never think about equality, though if forced to think about it we would affirm our mutual worth before God. Instead, I see my wife as better and more precious than I--of greater worth. And I told him my wife took no offense in this matter. Indeed she gets upset with me precisely at the point when I start treating her as my equal. To her it feels like a step down."

~John Ensor, Doing Things Right In Matters of the Heart, p. 95

 

Walk with the King!

This post is linked to Titus 2sdays, We Are That Family and Raising Homemakers.

Today is Women Living Well Wednesday! It's a Link-Up Day!!!

Join the fun, do a little blog hopping and don't forget if you join below -please add the Women Living Well Wednesdays button to your post so your readers can find us here! (posts can include the topics of marriage, parenting, homemaking, finances, recipes, organization and more!)

<a href="http://womenlivingwell-courtney.blogspot.com/search/label/Women%20Living%20Well%20Wednesdays"><img border="0" src="http://i457.photobucket.com/albums/qq297/courtneylivingwell/LivingWell.png" /></a>

Summer Boredom Busters For Kids

The Boredom Buster Jar!

I was so excited to discover on Smockity Frocks this link to The Happy Housewife with a free download of ideas for when your children are bored!!!

We printed out the download, my son cut the pieces and folded them and now our jar is ready to go!  The next time they say they are bored - they will choose an idea from the jar and that is what they will do for the next 30 minutes!


Busy hands and busy minds keep children out of trouble!


Here's what else we've been up to - and some ideas if you are looking for something to do.  Take note: there are NO crafts...I'm terrible at crafts.  I feel badly about this - just being honest.  If you are a crafty mom - I think my daughter would like to move in with you lol!

Washing Bikes


 


Our very fancy backyard pool lol!  I told my husband when I lay on that raft and close my eyes - I can't even tell that I'm not in some huge fancy in ground pool!  I love this!  And it's fun to spin the kids on too!

Making bouquets from the flowers around our house!

A trip in a small airplane.

School work at Starbucks!

The zoo! I love looking at God's creation - so do the children!

Our Doodle books! These are SO much fun!

Doodling outside!

The slip and slide!

Nerf Gun Wars

Play dates - these are the sweet mamas!  You might recognize Janelle from Comfy In The Kitchen on the far right!

Friends lined up to go down the slip-n-slide!

Summer Vacation Bible School (this is a picture from last year - we'll be headed here in July!)

The Library and reading outside!  This is my favorite!

Some have asked if we are doing any summer school.  We are taking the month of June off and then in July we'll be focusing on the basics: Reading, Writing, and Arithmetic.  We are reading library books and the Bible.  We are writing in our journals and writing out verses.  And we'll be doing some flash cards for math. 

Have a GREAT summer with your kids!  Remember how quickly it goes - savor the moments and enjoy your children!  And if you need some encouragement on the topic of Motherhood, we are currently in the midst of a series over on GoodMorningGirls.org where 3 times a week we have posts up to encourage moms in their Ministry of Motherhood.


Please feel free to share in the comment section some of your boredom busters! 

Walk with the King!

This post is linked to Titus 2sdays, We Are That Family and Raising Homemakers.

Today is Women Living Well Wednesday! It's a Link-Up Day!!!

Join the fun, do a little blog hopping and don't forget if you join below -please add the Women Living Well Wednesdays button to your post so your readers can find us here! (posts can include the topics of marriage, parenting, homemaking, finances, recipes, organization and more!)

<a href="http://womenlivingwell-courtney.blogspot.com/search/label/Women%20Living%20Well%20Wednesdays"><img border="0" src="http://i457.photobucket.com/albums/qq297/courtneylivingwell/LivingWell.png" /></a>

I Need Help!

Today I'm thinking about the Mom who is frustrated with her home and feels miserable. I turn to Psalm 23 and I think about the inner dialogue of a woman who is hurting...

1 - The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not be in want. (want. want. want. I want...)

2. He makes me lie down (lie down...if only I could lie down for just 20 minutes...if only if only if only) in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters. (quiet. quiet. quiet...this home is so loud...television, ipods, cell phones, chatter, I can't get a moment of quiet here).


3. He restores my soul (my soul. needs. restored. ...it hurts). He guides me in paths of righteousness. (I am so alone...I have no one who understands...if only I had someone to get me out of this mess. mess. mess. Someone besides me please clean up this mess!).


4. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil (what if. what if. what if. what if I'm not enough?) for you are with me (you are? why are you so silent God?); your rod and your staff they comfort me. (comfort. who needs comfort. I am strong. I will pick myself up and press on. I am not weak.)


5. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies, you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. (overflows. overflows. overflows. Dirty dishes overflow, closets overflow, my trash cans overflow, my laundry baskets overflow, my calender overflows...if everything is so full - why do I feel so empty?)


6. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life. (follow. follow. follow. I feel like difficulties, trials, disappointments, bad relationships and financial problems follow me... goodness? love? follow me?) and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. (put on fake smile. I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever...BUT...I want. I want. I want. if only. if only. if only. my soul hurts. mess. mess. mess. I am weak. no. I am strong. empty. empty. empty.)


Do you hear the self talk? Do you hear what is happening between this woman's two ears? She is saying rotten things to herself about her life, about the people in her life, about her circumstances, and even about God. And then she wonders...why? don't? I? have? peace?


The problem is not out there - it's inside of her. Romans 12:2 says, "Be transformed by the renewing of your mind." Do you want to see a change in your home? It starts in your mind.

The Lord is indeed your Shepherd and you shall not be in want. You must claim these truths. Let him lead you by still waters...are you thirsty? Sit still. Drink a tall glass of his living word! Let him restore your soul. He is with you. He loves you. You will one day dwell in his house forever. You only have one life and living it in the Eeyore state is not living at all!


Are you in a storm? Do you need help? Psalm 121:1 says, "I lift up my eyes to the hills - where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth."

At the core - I am empty, ugly, self-seeking, insecure, questioning myself to death regularly (even cried for about 30 minutes in my husband's office this week over my fears. fears. fears. and failures). I hurt. I struggle. I wrestle. But then - I lift my eyes up to the maker of the heavens and the earth and this world pauses for just a moment and all my ugly thoughts and self talk are washed away by his love, grace and peace. The storms do not disappear but seeing a glimpse of the sunshine that awaits me, lifts me up when I am weak. I am weak. I am weak. He is strong. And so I rest. And he restores.

(If you are discouraged, I pray you will take just 5 minutes to let this song speak truth into your life. Stop the inner dialogue and habits of doubt and negative self talk and fill your mind with truth. truth. truth. You must hear the truth.)

Walk with the King!

 

I'm linked up here today:

Today is Women Living Well Wednesday! It's a Link-Up Day!!!

Join the fun, do a little blog hopping and don't forget if you join below -please add the Women Living Well Wednesdays button to your post so your readers can find us here! (posts can include the topics of marriage, parenting, homemaking, finances, recipes, organization and more!)

<a href="http://womenlivingwell-courtney.blogspot.com/search/label/Women%20Living%20Well%20Wednesdays"><img border="0" src="http://i457.photobucket.com/albums/qq297/courtneylivingwell/LivingWell.png" /></a>

The Problem of Envy and Selfish Ambition

The day you were born-again you grew in wisdom. Your eyes were opened to god's wisdom and your life forever changed. There are many who are wise in the world's eyes but true wisdom comes only from God.

"Wisdom, does not mean knowledge. It does not mean information. It means the application of knowledge with divine power to the reshaping of life, transforming attitudes, transforming behavior into righteousness. Wisdom then is not what I know, wisdom is how I live. And so how I live according to the wisdom of God is a barometer on my spiritual condition." ~ John McArthur

James tells us in James 3:14 that envy and selfish ambition harbored in our hearts is earthly, unspiritual, and demonic wisdom. Take note of where this envy and selfish ambition lies - it lies quietly in our hearts where no one may see it...but there it lies and it leads us down a path into disorder.

This next quote is LONG lol!  but bear with me as John McArthur says it so much better than I ever could:

"So earthly wisdom is spawned by demons, it is reflective of sensual feeling and it goes no further than the fallenness of mankind. That is earthbound sensual demonic wisdom. And that's the way most people live. But Satan calls it wisdom.

When Eve was in the garden in chapter 3 verse 6, she looked on the fruit because she heard that the tree was able to make one wise. That was a lie. Satan always promises wisdom. And he always promises that you will know and be in the know and understand and be erudite and be educated. But the wisdom of the world proceeds from evil spirits. It proceeds from fallen angels. It proceeds from demons. It proceeds from Satan and his agents who are disguised as ministers of light when in fact they are ministers of darkness."  

This video below touches on worldly wisdom, God's wisdom and how I pursue peace in my daily life.  Peace is my theme word of the year!

James 3:13-18 ESV

Wisdom from Above

13 Who is wise and understanding among you? By his good conduct let him show his works in the meekness of wisdom. 14 But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth. 15 This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. 16 For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice. 17 But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere. 18 And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.


Selfish ambition leads to disorder.  Is there disorder in your home, work place, friendships or church?  Perhaps selfish ambition has reared its ugly head.  Pursue wisdom from above - be pure, peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere.


Walk with the King!

Today is Women Living Well Wednesday! It's a Link-Up Day!!!

Join the fun, do a little blog hopping and don't forget if you join below -please add the Women Living Well Wednesdays button to your post so your readers can find us here! (posts can include the topics of marriage, parenting, homemaking, finances, recipes, organization and more!)

<a href="http://womenlivingwell-courtney.blogspot.com/search/label/Women%20Living%20Well%20Wednesdays"><img border="0" src="http://i457.photobucket.com/albums/qq297/courtneylivingwell/LivingWell.png" /></a>

I'm linked up here today:

What Are The Secret Desires of Your Heart?

 In this video, I talk about a time when my husband and I were clashing over how we were going to spend our weekends (my husband was traveling extensively for business on the weekdays). My husband wanted to spend them at home with just me and the children. I wanted to go out and have fun! I neglected to tell how the clash was resolved.

I listened to Keith and tried to understand why he felt this way. Then he listened to me. We came to an agreement that before I scheduled anything I would run it by him. Together we would decide which events to attend and which we should skip. We ended up missing a lot that year...and I learned a lesson in contentment and sacrifice. Keith is still a less social person than I am, but we have come to a place of understanding and self-sacrifice on both ends. Sometimes as wives we have to be willing to "go first".

James 1:12-18 ESV

12 Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him. 13 Let no one say when he is tempted, "I am being tempted by God," for God cannot be tempted with evil, and he himself tempts no one. 14 But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. 15 Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.

16Do not be deceived, my beloved brothers. 17 Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change. 18 Of his own will he brought us forth by the word of truth, that we should be a kind of firstfruits of his creatures.


The method of Bible study I mention in the video above is called the S.O.A.P. Method:


1. S- Write out the scripture passage for the day.


2. O- Write down 1 or 2 observations from the passage.


3. A- Write down 1-2 applications from the passage.


4. P- Pray over what you learned from today’s passage.



Next Monday, we'll complete James chapter 1.

Walk with the King!

This post is linked to Raising Homemakers, Titus 2sdays, and We Are That Family.


Today is Women Living Well Wednesday! It's a Link-Up Day!!!

Join the fun, do a little blog hopping and don't forget if you join below -please add the Women Living Well Wednesdays button to your post so your readers can find us here! (posts can include the topics of marriage, parenting, homemaking, finances, recipes, organization and more!)

<a href="http://womenlivingwell-courtney.blogspot.com/search/label/Women%20Living%20Well%20Wednesdays"><img border="0" src="http://i457.photobucket.com/albums/qq297/courtneylivingwell/LivingWell.png" /></a>

What If Your Husband Is Not Interested?

Monday's post brought up a question that I have received numerous times.  This past March, I ran this question by Dr. David Clarke - a marriage counsellor of 20+ years and author.  He confirmed that my answer was the same answer he gives and therefore I feel comfortable sharing it with you.

So the general question usually goes something like this:

Dear Courtney,

My husband does not seem to need physical intimacy as often as most husbands.  He is the one saying he is too tired or not in the mood.  This leaves me feeling lonely, rejected and confused?  Is it me or him?

And here is my answer:

First, the scripture I refer to in my video on this topic is I Corinthians 7:5.  This passage commands wives to not withhold from their husbands and LIKEWISE husbands are not to withhold from their wives...lest it opens a cracked door in the marriage for Satan to tempt one of the spouses to fall.

So if your husband is withholding from you - Biblically he is wrong.

Okay, determining that he is wrong is the easy part.  But determining WHY he is doing this is the more difficult part.  Statistically speaking, 20+% of women say that their husband needs to make love less often than they do.  So if you are feeling this way you are not alone.

Here are 3 reasons why your husband may not be as interested as you are:

1.  He is under a high level of stress, depression, in a period of grieving or has been abused as a child. 

2.  He has a medical condition or is taking medication that is affecting his drive.

If #1 or #2 is the case, you need to encourage him to talk to his Dr. about this and get help. 

3.  He is involved in p*rn.

I am sad to say that many married Christian men are secretly involved in #3 and it is affecting marriages in the bedroom.  I had one woman email me with this very question.   I read the scenario to my husband...he immediately detected that it was #3 but  I sent her back the 1,2,3 analysis above.  She confronted her husband and he confessed to #3.  A man can almost detect this better than a woman...because he knows how a man thinks. 

#3 (sorry I'm not saying the word but I know many who read have filters and I don't want to get bumped due to this post)  is rampant nowadays because there is easy access on the Internet and Satan has made it free! Ugh!  Satan is working overtime in this area and taking ground everyday.

So what if this is you and you are stuck in a marriage with issue #3?  This is a huge can of worms that CANNOT be solved in one blog post but I can give you a simplified version of some of the things that may need to happen. 

The first time you discover it demand a change because it's not the first time your husband has been participating in it!  If you overlook it you will enable him. 

First, he will need to admit his problem, secondly, he will need to recognize this hurts you and apologize to you, thirdly you will need to understand the depth of his involvement - is this an addiction and for how long?  Finally, he needs to get help from a Godly man in your church along with accountability. 

It is important that you communicate to your husband your needs.  Get to the bottom of why this is happening but gently.  Do not turn this into WW III in your home.  Start with prayer - maybe even a week or two of prayer.  If this is a touchy subject and you have had fights over this previously, write out what you want to say and pray over it.  Then find a quiet time when there are no children and your husband is not in the middle of a television show, an email or a nap and ask him if you can have a little talk.  Then open up the discussion and seek restoration.  I am praying for any of you who are in this situation right now.  I know it hurts.  God is with you - lean hard on him.  

Walk with the King,

Addendum - Thank you for your comments and additions to the conversation -some of you have recommended some GREAT resources - thank you!  Some of you have added a #4 that I agree with - when a woman has not taken care of herself, is disrespectful or makes her husband "beg" for it - he can lose his desire for his wife...but please understand that truly this just leads to #3 (or even an affair) - it may take a year or two...but even a good man in this digital world has trouble withstanding the pressure of #3.

This leads me to add...that some have mentioned their husbands have a lower drive...this may outrage some of you(I got a hate email about this)...but the reality is - God created men with a biological need to have it often ...all you have to do is look at our media and see that a huge percentage of it is ran by this man's drive to SEE the woman's beauty and respond - from comedians, to the music industry, to the beer ads to the fashion industry it is all dominated by this drive that men and women have.


 Dr. Juli Slattery (Focus On the Family)  explains this need better here...there is a physical build up of the man's seed that must be released regularly.  To understand this as a woman it can be compared to a nursing mom who has the need to express her milk.  This is how men were created...and if it is not happening in your man - then very likely #1 or #2 is the reason.  And hopefully not #3.  So, though I received just one hate email thus far...I know others could be looming - I stand behind what I have shared here in hopes that it helps just one woman get to the bottom of why their marriage is struggling in this area.


And let me humbly add that I am not a counsellor or Dr. - I have turned to them for their expertise and am reiterating what I understand them to be saying.  I deeply apologize if in your situation I am WAY off.  But I know that there has to be one woman out there this could help - so I can't take this down.  It's with love that I post this.


This post is linked to Raising Homemakers, Titus 2sdays, and We Are That Family.


Today is Women Living Well Wednesday! It's a Link-Up Day!!!

Join the fun, do a little blog hopping and don't forget if you join below -please add the Women Living Well Wednesdays button to your post so your readers can find us here! (posts can include the topics of marriage, parenting, homemaking, finances, recipes, organization and more!)

<a href="http://womenlivingwell-courtney.blogspot.com/search/label/Women%20Living%20Well%20Wednesdays"><img border="0" src="http://i457.photobucket.com/albums/qq297/courtneylivingwell/LivingWell.png" /></a>

How To Make Bunny Cupcakes

Today I'm featuring Janelle from ComynKitchen.  She writes "I found a photo of these cute cupcakes on the Betty Crocker website a few years ago. As soon as I saw them, I couldn't wait to make them for an Easter play date we had scheduled! The children at the play date went crazy when they saw them! Ever since, I have made them every year around Easter. I give each of my children a cupcake, individual ingredients, and I show them step by step how to turn their ordinary cupcake into a cute little bunny...they have so much fun! These particular bunnies are on their way to my son's school tomorrow...I am sure they will bring some Easter cheer to the students!"

Make cupcakes as directed on the box. This particular mix used eggs, oil, and water.

I chose Funfetti because of the colors. You can use any cake mix you like.

Place in 12 jumbo cupcake liners or 24 regular cupcake liners. Bake as directed. I baked mine for 18 mins at 350.

When cool, frost all cupcakes with pink frosting, then using white frosting, make a circle for the bunny face.

To make the ears, cut a marshmallow in half lengthwise and cut a slit 3/4 of the way down. Dip sticky side into pink sprinkles like so..

Place ears on top of cupcake

For the eyes I used decorators frosting. However, I have used sugar dots attached to paper in the past...I couldn't find them this year. The frosting worked just fine.

A jelly bean nose

Twizzler Pull n Peels (you may use black if you wish)for the whiskers

No sneaking into those jellybeans! LOL!

Cut the Twizzlers into small pieces

Here you have it...a cute little bunny

Off to school they go!

Enjoy and Happy Easter to you. He is RISEN! Love, Janelle

Thank you Janelle!!!!

Walk with the King!

 
You can follow Janelle on her own blog Comfy In The Kitchen or on Facebook and Twitter. I am participating in Titus 2sdays, Tempt Your Tummy Tuesday, and Balancing Beauty and Bedlam recipe exchanges. I am also linked up to Raising Homemakers Weds. link up and Works For Me Wednesday! For more blogger recipes go to these links.

Today is Women Living Well Wednesday! It's a Link-Up Day!!!

Join the fun, do a little blog hopping and don't forget if you join below -please add the Women Living Well Wednesdays button to your post so your readers can find us here! (posts can include the topics of marriage, parenting, homemaking, finances, recipes, organization and more!)

<a href="http://womenlivingwell-courtney.blogspot.com/search/label/Women%20Living%20Well%20Wednesdays"><img border="0" src="http://i457.photobucket.com/albums/qq297/courtneylivingwell/LivingWell.png" /></a>