Facebook and Inappropriate Relationships

I have been a Facebook user for over 2 years. I thoroughly enjoy connecting with everyone and daily I visit Facebook to catch up on what is happening in the life of family, friends, followers and other partners in ministry.


Facebook in and of itself is amoral. But because we live in a fallen world, every single user of Facebook is a sinner and therefore Facebook is sin filled. There are pitfalls at every turn that we must guard ourselves against.


We must guard against gossip, slander, and complaining spirits. We must guard against judgemental attitudes and being a busy body.


But today's post is about the biggest pitfall of all - inappropriate relationships. Within 5 days of being a Facebook user, old high school and college friends had found me and were befriending me. Old names from the past and memories that I had not pondered in 15 years flooded my mind. Some of the people from the past, I had close friendships with and others I barely even knew. But when the "friendship request" came into my email inbox I felt bad to "decline" anyone a friendship with me.


So I accepted everyone who requested a friendship for fear that they would know I declined them and have hurt feelings. I also accepted some friends because I was very curious to see what had happened in their lives in the last 15 years. So I had friendships with both men and women on Facebook...and there were some very awkward moments.


There were moments when men I never talk to at church would start commenting on my status - it felt weird but it's Facebook and this is what people do so I accepted it and moved on. It wasn't until I began to hear of marriages being broken and destroyed by these "innocent" Facebook friendships that I began to question "why in the world am I friends with guys on Facebook?"


After a good discussion with my husband about this (who is not a user of Facebook and was not thrilled that I was "friends" with guys - but was too kind to "forbid" it) we decided it was best that I delete every single guy from my friendship list (who were not relatives).


It was brutal...it was hard to delete a few of my pastors and friends who might wonder why suddenly they were "unfriended". After they were unfriended requests came in for me to "refriend" some of the guys and I ignored them. It was hard.


Why did I unfriend my guy friends? Was I doing something inappropriate? NO, I did not have any inappropriate friendships with men on Facebook BUT I know that "Satan is a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour" (I Peter 5:8) and I am fresh meat he'd just love to get his hands on! And I want to be "alert" and "on guard". I am aware that I am a sinful human who is capable of being tempted and falling. I do not want to leave any known cracks in my life where he can sneak in.


Do I think you should delete your Facebook guy friends? I am not the Holy Spirit. I can not say what is God's will for your life. But I will say, we must be wise and on guard because I know that Satan would love to get a foothold in your life too.


My daily followers know that I adore the "Love and Respect" book by Dr.Emerson Eggerich. His daughter, Joy Eggerich made this video below addressing Facebook and emotional affairs. It speaks my heart so I want to share it with you.





Let's use Facebook to glorify God! My heart has been filled with joy as I have watched my Christian sisters in Christ love on one another, share verses, encouragement, prayer requests and life. God is using Facebook to spread his truth and gospel and I want us all to be a part of God's work.


If you are questioning any of your friendships or anything you have said on Facebook as to whether it is right or wrong...let me help you sort it out right now.


Ask yourself:

If the pastor of my church put up on a large screen for the whole church to see - my friends, status updates, comments, and photos - is there anything I would be embarrassed of?


There's your answer - now go and delete whatever came to mind!
Walk with the King!

Ps. If you are a facebook user and would like to receive daily updates from Women Living Well - go here and click "like".

Today's post is a part of the "Put Your House In Order" Series. Please visit the ladies below!

Making Family Rules Fun from My Blessed Life

Loving Your Family Through Meal Planning from Good Cheap Eats

Fruit of the Spirit Charts for Kids from Smockity Frocks

Family Finances from Kingdom First Mom

This post is linked to Raising Homemakers and We Are That Family.

Girl - You NEED A Bubble Bath

"Go take a bubble bath."
"You should go to bed early tonight and get some extra rest."
"Let me get you a warm cup of coffee, a book and you sit down and take a break."


No one ever says these things to you do they? And so - I'm guessing you rarely do this. You rarely surrender to your weariness. I know this because you are just like me. I mistakenly believe that I can go and go and go like the Energizer bunny without consequence.


Electricity has created an artificial day during our nights. And so rather than resting like the rest of nature does - we try to defy nature and keep going as if it is morning time. We live in a world that runs 24/7. Computers, televisions, cell phones, ipods, restaurants, grocery stores and more are at our access 24/7. We live in a hyperactive culture and then we wonder why some of our children are so well...hyperactive?!

We must slow down and create slow moments because it is in our slow moments that we can see clearly.


Let me say that again because this must sink in if we are going to embrace the peace Jesus wants to give us. It is in our slow moments that we can see clearly.


When we are on the go go go - we can't see the person who is hurting and needs a hug. We can't see our husband who needs our tender affection. We don't have time to just linger on the bedside of our children to listen. We don't write encouraging notes to a friend who is hurting. We can't enjoy a sunrise, a surprise game of hide-n-seek, a spontaneously song of praise and we certainly can not hear God clearly.

I know we carry a long to-do list and heavy burdens at Christmas time. But consider Jesus for a moment - the burdens of the entire world were upon his shoulders. He knew of every single hurting man, woman and child. The needs he knew of were beyond what we can comprehend - and yet he did not help everyone. He did not rush in a flurry of speed to accomplish as much as he could before each sunset. He took time to stop and talk to individuals. He took time to wake early in the morning and get alone with God. He took time to rest when he was weary like the time he slept during the raging storm on the boat.

And so it is time for us to hush not rush.


Here's this week's challenge: Take out your calendar and SCHEDULE a night where you will take a warm refreshing bubble bath. Bring your Bible. Read the story of the birth of Jesus in Matthew 1, 2 and Luke 1,2.

Here's why: A bubble bath is something COMPLETELY free that only you can give yourself. It is something we do alone and a place where we can stop the rush, hush, reflect and see clearly. I know there is a temptation at the end of a weary day to turn on the television and have a snack. This is a common stress reliever - but it doesn't get us alone with God and it doesn't give us the peace that our souls long for. Television is empty. God's word is full.

An awesome bubble bath takes planning so here's what you need:
1. Privacy - all children asleep and the husband aware that you don't want to be interrupted

2. Hot water and loads of Bubbles - preferably ones that smell yummy!

3. Some soft classical music

4. A hand towel rolled up as a pillow

5. A cold drink to set beside the tub

6. Your Bible and if you are afraid you'll get it wet - exchange it for a good Christian book or simply quietness - reflecting on your day and talking with God in prayer.

Optional: a lit candle


Now sit back, RELAX, be alone with just you and God - 25 minutes and VOILA - you emerge a new woman.


Do not wait until the house is clean, the laundry is folded, and your presents are all wrapped. It will never be all done! Give yourself permission in the midst of your busyness to have a moment of peace - Peace on Earth.

If you are participating in this challenge leave a comment below with how it's going - if you are a blogger copy this button into your blog post, write about how it's going and link up below!

Walk with the King!

I am linking up to: Motivation Monday, Hip Homeschool Hop, Finer Things Friday, Raising Homemakers, Making My H0me Sing Monday , Holiday Haven and Works For Me Wednesday. Please check out these blogs for more great homemaking ideas.

Mailbag Question: Where To Start Reading In The Bible?

Here's an email I received in my mailbag:

"I have never even read the Bible before! I start but I can't understand it or it's so blah. Do you have any recommendations about where I should begin at? ...I really want to understand the word of God. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. I just don't know where to begin." - Heather

Heather - thank you for the excellent question. The Bible can be a challenge to read because it does not read like an ordinary book from cover to cover. It was written over thousands of years, by nearly 40 authors and in several languages. To put it in simple terms, the Old Testament gives us a foundation for who God is, his character and the foreshadowing of Christ's coming. The New Testament is about Jesus' life, crucifixion, resurrection, the spread of the gospel and instructions for Christian living.

So where do you start? Let me go book by book in order of where they fall in the Bible and explain it - I will give you my recommendations as I go. Hold on to your seat - cause here we go on a ride through the entire Bible!

The Book of Genesis tells us how God created the world, how mankind fell into sin, and the impact of the fall. This book is necessary for a complete understanding of God's word.

Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers and Deuteronomy are filled with the Jewish law - which can be difficult to read...so you may want to save those books for later in your journey. But don't miss them because all of God's word is meant to be read!

Joshua through Job gives a lot of Jewish history. When I studied these books I kept a "Character of God" journal - where I wrote down all the things I learned about my God. I learned so much about how my God works in the lives of real people. These are not hard to read but they are not the place to start. Once you have a good foundation - head over to these books.


Then there's Psalms - which I LOVE - as history and poetry collide, again the character of God shines brightly. This is what I am reading in my quiet time currently.

Next comes Proverbs. It's a favorite of mine. It is filled with God's wisdom for relationships - marriage, parenting, friends and neighbors. This is a great book to commit to memory.

Ecclesiastes is a wisdom book and Song of Solomon is a great book about having a loving marriage...if you want to read some hot stuff - read here lol!!!

Isaiah through Malachi are prophetic books and again a very difficult read...don't avoid them - but save them for later.

Then there's the gospels - This is where you start!!! If you want to know more about Jesus, his life and teachings you MUST start in the gospels - the book of John is the most common book people refer beginners to - and I agree. All four gospels - Matthew, Mark, Luke and John are wonderful - but they overlap each other - so you may not want to read all four in a row. Start in the book of John!

In Acts - we see Jesus ascend into heaven and the beginning of the Christian church as we know it today. This is the sequel to the gospels so I recommend you read this after you read a gospel.

Then there's the book of Romans - this book clearly defines salvation and grace - I love this book. So after reading the Gospel of John, then Acts, read Romans. If you read these three books -you will have a very strong foundation for what you believe!

From there we delve into the epistles - they are all helpful for how to apply the principles of God to practical life - but some are easier to understand than others.

My favorites are Ephesians, Philippians, James and I John. I recommend you read these next after reading John, Acts and Romans.

Then finally we come to Revelation - a book of prophecy about the end times. This is a hard book to understand but certainly a fascinating one. Read it when you feel comfortable with some of the other readings above.

So, turn off those cell phones, ipods, and televisions and open God's word - the Bible. The only place on this planet that you will find a word from God and what he wants you to do with your life is on those pages. Pray and ask God to help you to understand his word and then dig in and enjoy!

And for my seasoned Christian Bible readers - please chime in - what are your favorite passages and what would you recommend for those who are new to Bible reading? There is no right or wrong answer to this question so it's okay if you have a different suggestion.


The key is - Walk with the King!

Technology and Your Quiet Times

In our heavily saturated tech society, there is a shift from the old days when people sat on their front porches chatting their evening away or even from the day of our mothers who, when on the phone, were attached to the wall by a cord! The front porch has been replaced by facebook and the phone attached to the wall - by a cell phone in our purse! No longer do we need to write letters - we just text each other! I LOVE these short cuts!

I want to suggest to you that you can use all of these tech tools to deepen your walk with God. On Monday, I talked about the Good Morning Girls - my accountability group that emails each other everyday after having our quiet times.

We use email for our accountability group but you could be creative and try twitter, facebook or even text messaging! God's word tells us that we need each other and accountability is good:

"Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!" Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

Hebrews 10:24 says, "And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds."

1 Thessalonians 5:11 says to, "…encourage one another and build each other up…"

Proverbs 27:17 says "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."

This new tech world offers women - who sometimes feel isolated from each other - a chance to connect. Starting a Good Morning Girls group is a way to make those connections deeper and more meaningful.

John Piper says: "The human heart does not replenish itself with sleep. The body does, but not the heart. We replenish our hearts not with sleep, but with the Word of God and prayer.”

Are you in need of replenishing? Are you thirsty for the living well and the living water of Jesus? Do you need accountability in your daily walk with God? Consider today starting your own Good Morning Girls group by going here! I'd love to help you along your way! Ladies - we will not live well - until we are drinking from the living well of Jesus - that is what this blog - Women Living Well - is all about!

Jesus said in John 6:35 "He who believes in me will never be thirsty." If you are thirsty today - do something about it! Pick up your Bible, turn to Psalm 33 - one of my favorite passages - and replenish your soul! If you need accountability email your friends today and start a Good Morning Girls group!

Walk with the King!

Peace on Earth in the Midst of Noise Noise Noise

Yesterday, as my alarm woke me with the radio, I headed to my computer and as I blogged, I listened to music from Youtube (Casting Crowns), then I checked my text messages, facebook and email. As I drove my kids to preschool, I listened to a kids praise and worship CD. Driving home I talked on the cell phone to my sister. When I arrived home I turned on Christmas music while I checked my email for any missed messages while I was gone. I again drove in my car to my next activity with music going where my cell phone chimed in with text messages. Then I proceeded to have dinner with my parents, while my children interrupted our conversation with loud noises. Later, I put the kids to bed with a CD playing in their rooms and proceeded to my basement to run on the treadmill, while I listened to my iPod and watched television simultaneously. Then I returned upstairs to check my email and turn on the television to watch something I had DVR'd while listening to a voicemail. I finished my day by answering one last phone call and checking facebook.

.

When I type that all out I see how loud my world is - but I know that it really is not that unusual for women my age to have all this technology noise.

.

What do you hear right now? Is there any silence or peace where you are at? The saying "silence is golden" is true. And in order to find peace in the midst of this very noisy and technology addicted world we must have the discipline to turn it all off and simply sit alone and meet with God.

Mark Driscoll says : "I began to ponder what Jesus’ life might be like if He lived today. Would He be available to all of His followers twenty-four hours a day on His BlackBerry? Would He have left His phone on at the Last Supper and been continually interrupted by needless calls? Would He have failed to stop and speak to needy people because their weeping was not loud enough for Him to hear over His iPod as He hurried past them on His way to a meeting He was already late for?"

Moreover, the Bible says in Luke 5:16 that “Jesus OFTEN withdrew to lonely places.” Jesus spent considerable time alone in silence to pray, rest, and focus on what priorities He should be devoting His time and energy to. This helps to explain why, in just three short years of ministry, Jesus had a greater impact on history than anyone else who has ever lived.

The Bible also describes multiple benefits of purposeful silence, including:

• hearing from God - I Kings 19:11-13
• waiting patiently for the Lord to act - Lamentations 3:25-28
• worshiping God - Habakkuk 2:20
• knowing God better - Psalm 46:10
• praying effectively - Luke 5:16

So today - allow yourself a break to just be silent - get alone with God. It is in this silence that we will hear loudly the truth that the choir of angels sang to the shepherds in Luke 2 "Peace on earth, goodwill to men."

Walk with the King!
Courtney
http://www.womenlivingwell.org/