I'm Over On Raising Homemakers Today!

Are you exhausted teaching your children the same lessons over and over?  Me too!!!  Come visit me over on Raising Homemakers today where I share a few lessons I've learned from these motherhood struggles.

Walk with the King!

Are You Exhausted Teaching Your Children the Same Lessons Over and Over and Over?

There are times in motherhood where I have been both frustrated and baffled. Frustrated because I am disciplining my child for the same thing over and over and over and over and baffled because I am consistently giving consequences over and over and over and they are not changing.

I remember when my son was around 3 and we would go places. He would inevitably do something aggressive which would shock me as much as the other moms watching! I would discipline him and watch for those same behaviors at home to be sure to work on them in privacy. But it seemed inevitable, the next time we were in a social setting he would do it again.

By the age of 4, I was exhausted with dealing with the same behaviors he was displaying at 3. He was beginning to be labeled by the behavior and it was deeply concerning.

I remember receiving the same advice from multiple sources - "be consistent". The baffling part - I was being very consistent - and I had a child who was being equally consistent in his misbehavior.

4 years later and my son is now 7 and though he still makes spontaneous decisions without thinking that lead him to trouble, I do see progress. What a relief to see progress - but we aren't out of the woods yet!!! A wise woman once told me "Courtney, work on progress not perfection."

Some personalities are bent in a direction that are harder to straighten than others. Some misbehavior is very obvious while others can be more sneaky. Multiple times (and this is embarrassing to admit) I have disciplined my son because another person reported of his misbehavior, only to learn later that the other child had done something sneaky that no one else saw.

So this brings me to the point of the above story. Today is Polished Cornerstones day over at Raising Homemakers and my daughter and I attempted to complete a new assignment from page 300 (here's us working on the assignment over breakfast).

We had missionary guests staying with us all weekend and so before the family arrived I went over with my daughter ways that she could be hospitable to the little girls that would be staying with us. She made a list of activities she could invite the other girls to do in our home.

The list was made, the house prepared, the missionaries arrived and my daughter went into a funk. Let's just say that nothing we had planned for her to do happened. If you follow my blog - you might remember that we had something similar happen once before on a Polished Cornerstones assignment.

And so this means we must try again another time. In training my children over and over and over and over I have learned a few good lessons as a mother:

1. Galatians 6:7 says "A man reaps what he sows." I must continue to sow seeds of righteousness because in "due time I will reap a harvest IF I do not give up" (Gal. 6:9).

2. Persevere. Training a child up in the ways of the Lord is not for the weary at heart! Persevere!

3. Be humble. My children keep me humble. You can lead a horse to the water but you can't make him drink. Just when my children couldn't make me any prouder - they go and act their age and embarrass me! My prayer life has grown as God daily humbles me and keeps me on my knees. It is very clear when they do what is right that God deserves all the glory.

4. Be patient. I try to remember when I am frustrated that my daughter has only been on this earth 5 years. She is still learning and growing. I expect to see bits of maturity over time rather than an overnight morphing of a butterfly! By God's grace, by the time we double her age to 10, I know I will see some fruit of my labor now. Be patient.

5. Remember that God gave Adam and Eve a perfect environment and even they made the wrong choices. We can do much right as a parent and our children still make wrong choices.

So dear Christian sister and friend, if you are weary from teaching your children the same lessons over and over and over and over - you are not alone! ME TOO!!! We are in it together - DO NOT GIVE UP!

This is my life verse - Galatians 6:9 "Do not grow weary in doing good, for in due season you will reap a harvest IF you do not give up."

Walk with the King!

I am linked up here today:

Word Filled Wednesday's and Wordful Wednesday.

Vlog: Teaching Our Children About Friendships

I originally made this video with plans to run it on a Friday - but it's Wednesday! So up it goes and I'm sorry for mentioning the wrong day on the video! (and the freeze frame of me below is even funnier than my mess up on the days lol!!!)

Deuteronomy 6 says that parents are to teach our children along the way of life, the truth of God's word. Sometimes we will be in formal settings reading God's word to our children. But other times there will be opportunities just in the normal course of the day, to speak God's truth. So here's how to turn cooking a spaghetti dinner into an illustration for our children on friendships.

Walk with the King!

I am linked up here today:

Word Filled Wednesday's and Wordful Wednesday.

Becoming a Domestic Artist

In The Hidden Art of Homemaking Edith Shaeffer says "I believe there is both an art form and a way of life, an atmosphere and a form of showing consideration, as well as a subtle way of providing education and inspiration in artistic areas that is being lost altogether if the meal table always has a bare center - or a bottle of milk and a jar of pickles."

I agree. There is much a woman can to do set the atmosphere and tone of the home. Some of those things are done with her tongue:

1. Words of gentleness and kindness

2. Words of praise and affirmation

3. Words of grace and forgiveness

4. Words of truth and wisdom

5. Words of faith and hope

6. Words of gratitude and joy

But then there are physical things we can do to set the tone in our home:

1. Turn on soft music

2. Light a candle

3. Bake cookies

4. Place fresh flowers on the dinner table.

As Alexis grows and becomes a domestic artist, it is my job to train her in the arts. The hard part is that I feel like I am still learning myself - and so we are truly learning together on this journey!

On page 344 of Polished Cornerstones, it suggests that I have my daughter "Pick a bouquet for the dinner table or make an interesting centerpiece with other materials such as shells, dried flowers, candles etc."

So we read some of Proverbs 31 together, discussed the virtuous woman and her influence on the home. We looked at her industrious ways such as her sewing her tapestries and beddings. Then Alexis went outside and made our family a beautiful centerpiece. We have been enjoying it for over 5 days now! She is seeing what a large influence she can have on the entire family and the praise she receives for blessing us in this way.

Monday, I encouraged women to be mindful of their husbands at the dinner table - but Edith Shaeffer reminds moms to be mindful of their children also,

"Instead of saying "Oh it doesn't matter, it's only the children", when you are alone with children for a meal, it is important to say the opposite to yourself. "I wonder what the children would enjoy the most? Being surprised by something special on the table - a mirror with that new toy duck on it, and some stones around the edge, so that it looks like a pond, lighted by candles in crystal candlesticks, ...something that will look like lamps near the pond? Or would they rather have a choice since they are the ones to be considered tonight...shall we have the green cloth, or the pink?"

Moms, remember your influence. Simple macaroni and cheese can be made special with just a few fancy folded napkins and a centerpiece you have created. Role model and train your daughters to become like the Proverbs 31 woman, a domestic artist, to the glory of God.

Walk with the King!

I'm linked at Raising Homemakers, Word Filled Wednesday's and Wordful Wednesday.

Teaching Our Children Self-Denial

It's link up Wednesday over on Raising Homemakers! So on July 3rd, I began to prepare Alexis (age 5) to be my junior hostess for our 4th of July family picnic. Her role was to greet everyone at the door with a hug, kiss and offer to carry their things into the kitchen. Rather than running off to play with the first child who came through the door - she was to stand post and be ready to warmly greet ALL of our guests and serve them.


We read together pg. 299 of Polished Cornerstones and then read from Luke 14: 12-14 and Hebrews 13:1,2 on hospitality. Then our first guest arrived and she played shy. She would not give a hug or kiss and she would not take my Uncle's drinks into the kitchen. So I released her from her Jr. Hostess duties and decided we'd work on it another day.

The next day we discussed what happened. Alexis was disappointed that she had lost her opportunity to be my Jr. Hostess. But another opportunity was coming, I had a play date planned.

This time - she stood at the window waiting to greet the mother's and their children. This time she eagerly took the bowls from the mothers and brought them into the kitchen for me. This time she warmly greeted her friends. This time she lived out the character trait of hospitality.

Will she do it next time? I don't know - training our children is a process. There will be good and bad days. Some personalities will be easier to train in certain areas than others. Sometimes they will respond to our training and other days they will not. We must seek to know our children - know their strengths and weaknesses. We must seek to drive the sin of selfishness and self-centeredness out of their little hearts and give them opportunities to serve others.

In Luke 9:23 Jesus says, "If any man will come after me, he must deny himself, take up his cross daily and follow me."

In the end, Alexis experienced the joy of denying herself. We must continually give our children opportunities to deny themselves. Satan has deceived the next generation of children into believing that joy comes from cartoons, toys, video games and the next great gadget. But true joy comes from walking in the footsteps of our Savior Jesus.

It's seems to be a dichotomy to say that denying yourself will bring joy. But the best moments in my life were when I was serving Jesus. I have fond memories of missions trips, Bible study groups, gatherings in our home or service projects where the joy of the Lord was so full in my heart it overflowed. It's the same in motherhood. All my daily sacrifices added up have equaled joy in our home.

This parenting thing is a journey for me. I am learning as my children learn and then sharing it with you. There are a lot of things I am unsure of, but one thing I am sure of, learning self-denial starts in the home. Let's teach our children to serve others and give them something money can't buy, true joy.

Walk with the King!

I'm linked at Raising Homemakers, Word Filled Wednesday's and Wordful Wednesday.

Repost: How to Get Organized With Buckets

If you haven't seen my beginnings to my "bucket system" it is being featured over on Raising Homemakers today. Hop on over and check it out!

Walking with the King!

Make Your Bed To the Glory of God!

The Proverbs 31 woman was a domestic artist. Proverbs 31:22 says "she makes coverings for her bed." Did you catch that - she MAKES her coverings.

Well, I'll be honest - I buy my "coverings" at Target! But I am working my way through a brand new book titled "Polished Cornerstones - Projects for Daughters on the Path to Womanhood". I want to train my daughter to love homemaking. So, yesterday at breakfast we read some of Proverbs 31 and then proceeded to do our morning chores. My daughter makes her own bed everyday but I wanted her to learn to make her bed to the glory of God. To develop her heart towards wanting to make it beautiful - to let making her bed become a work of art.

Sure, it's not perfect, nor the way I would do it...but she's a domestic artist in training! And it's my job to teach her and show her the significance of making her bed.

The Proverbs 31 woman would have spent countless hours making her coverings. It is innate within humans to be drawn toward beauty and so rather than rushing through this rather meaningless task - I challenged her to take her time and make it beautiful to the glory of God!

Genesis 1:27 says man was made in God's image. Our God has created majestic mountains, beautiful sandy beaches, breathtaking sunsets and from the flowers, to the stars, to the birds and butterflies - all of creation declares God's artistic nature.

If you have a daughter, encourage her to express herself - to make it a work of art. Teach her to find joy in making her bed. Praise her efforts and diligence. And as mothers, remember to be a role model like the Proverbs 31 woman and make your bed to the glory of God!

Walk with the King!

This post is the beginning of a regular Wednesday series I will be participating in. It's Raising Homemaker's Wednesday Link up! Check out other blog posts from the book Polished Cornerstones.

I'm also linked at Word Filled Wednesday's and Wordful Wednesday.