Spring Cleaning Your Facebook Account

During the year of 2010, 250 million NEW people joined Facebook bringing the total users on Facebook at the end of 2010 to 600 million! Facebook is growing and the pressure to be there is not going away.  It's the new front porch. 


Last summer I went on evening runs through my new neighborhood and it was the dogs, crickets and me outside.  Everyone else seemed to be inside enjoying their family, air conditioning, computers, and televisions.  I thought - I know my friends on Facebook, blogland and twitterville better than my next door neighbors! 

So let me preface all that I am about to say about Facebook with this statement: Technology is neutral.  It can be used for good or bad.  We, the sinners, determine whether we are going to use it for good or evil.  

I personally enjoy Facebook but for those who regularly participate we can find secret sins creeping in - or worse - our sinful heart is revealed for all to see. And I wonder if we should PAUSE and do some spring cleaning in this area of our lives.

I Timothy 5:13 warns young women about becoming  "idlers, going about from house to house, and not only idlers, but also gossips and busybodies, saying what they should not." ESV   Facebook is an easy place for women to become idle and busy bodies.  So Let's Ask Ourselves:

Am I using Facebook to complain about my husband, children, the weather etc?

Am I measuring my worth based on how many friends I have?

Am I portraying a fake reality?

Am I addicted to checking my page every 30 minutes?

Have I used a sharp tongue toward someone and need to apologize?

Do I have some bikini shots up from 5 years ago that need deleted? (read my modesty post here)

Am I married and flirting with a guy (other than my husband) on Facebook?

Am I married and developing a deep emotional connection with a man other than my husband on Facebook (read my post about this here)?

Am I ignoring my children or husband to hang out on the front porch?

Do I feel excluded from some of my friends when they post pictures together and get jealous?

Am I feeling envious of someone's house, car, clothes, friendships, status, looks etc? 

Am I distracted in my daily life by a Facebook debate?

Am I malicious when I respond to someone with thoughts that oppose mine?

Am I using my status updates to brag?

Am I using the information I've read on Facebook to gossip with friends in real life about a friend on Facebook?

Look at this extensive list of dangers that exist each time we log onto Facebook!  Did you realize all the temptations that Facebook opens up for you?  I honestly did not the first time I created my account.  Yet - as I sat down to write this post these thoughts came pouring out of my mind in rapid fire.  Why?  Because I've either participated in the above sins or have been troubled as I have watched Christian sisters pulled into these danger zones.

Dear Christian sisters - we are followers of Christ - our Facebook accounts must reflect this!  We are the salt and light of the world - our Facebook updates must look different from the rest of the worlds.

I'm not saying that every status update must be a Bible verse or hymn.  BUT I am saying that our lives are not our own.  We belong to Jesus and so our finger tapping must reflect his heart - not ours.  Let's let Jesus permeate everything we do - from loving our husbands and children to hanging out on the front porch.  Pray for your friends, encourage them, be bold and share what you read in your quiet time, respond to friends in crisis, connect with missionaries and encourage them, pass on a blog link to a blog post you read today (hint hint lol!!!), or a youtube that speaks truth into your friend's lives.

And a good rule of thumb to follow is - no Facebook until you've read THE BOOK and have had some face to face time with your Heavenly Father.  You will need to be saturated in his truth to handle the onslaught of temptation and ministry that is presented to you everyday on Facebook.  I'm praying for you sisters!  Let's make a difference for the glory of God on Facebook!

Walk with the King!

This is linked to Titus 2sdays, We Are That Family, Raising Homemakers and A Holy Experience.

Today's post is a part of the "Put Your House In Order" Series. Please visit the ladies below!

• Organizing With a Label Maker - Smockity Frocks
• Spring Inspired Blocks Tutorial- The Casabella Project
• Trail Mix With Fruit Seeds and Chocolate - Good Cheap Eats
• Spring Cleaning Your Finances - Kingdom First Mom

My Battles With Loneliness

After posting the picture of my Good Morning Girls Group, I received a few comments and emails from sisters in Christ who are lonely and long for Christian friendships. My heart broke, as I can recall the seasons in life where I was caught in the dark cloud of loneliness.

I remember weekends in college in Chicago, when most of the girls either went home or out on dates with their boyfriends - I was homesick. I would sit in my dorm room alone eating popcorn and listening to George Winston’s Pachabel’s Canon play on repeat for hours(I still do this! lol!). I never did go out on dates in college - not once – I was dating Keith long distance. I poured over God's word on those long weekends and filled in the gaping dark hole with God's presence.

Finally, I married Keith after 4 long years apart and we moved to Columbus, Ohio for him to finish college at Ohio State University. I was in a new town – with a new name - with a new job – and a new church. I recall walking into my first Bible study in the new church and no one greeting me. I sat alone and was very uncomfortable. I had made some non-Christian friends at work. But I longed for a safe refuge of Christian friends where I could let my guard down and be myself. It took about 18 months before I developed my first "real" Christian friendship...it was a long lonely 18 months.


Then I moved home after 7 years away. I had finally made Christian friends back in Columbus – but here I was “alone” again! I pulled out a prayer journal from my first week home and I had written in there… “Help me Lord to not get into a rut of self pity as it is hard in a new town with no friends.” Looking back it’s humorous. I wasn’t in a new town? I was in my hometown. These weren’t new friends? They were old friends. But I was scared - I had changed in 7 years - so had they - would they accept me?

David, “a man after God’s own heart”, was lonely. In Psalm 25:16 he said to the Lord, “Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted.” David turned to God.

If we choose to turn away from God in response to our loneliness we will go down a very cold road. Job and Elijah felt so alone they wanted to die. Jeremiah wished he had never even been born. Satan can use this time to enter sinful thoughts into our minds such as self pity, self-centeredness, bitterness, anger, and jealousy. We may attempt to put a band aid on the pain by turning to the television, alcohol, shopping, binge eating, or excessive computer time.

But, the only comfort I ever found was in releasing my needs to God in prayer and then trusting God. If you are struggling with loneliness today I encourage you to read Psalm 84:11,12. Place your trust in God, then go one step further and delight yourself in God as the rest of Psalm 84 says.

Stop being jealous, stop shopping, stop suppressing the pain with food. I testify as one lonely sister to another (*tears are stinging as I write this next line because God has taught me this truth through tears over and over and over and I pray with all my heart you will grasp this) - it has been in my trusting and delighting - that God has filled the God shaped hole inside of me, to the brim.


In time, God will bring you the fellowship you long for but never let your friends replace your Walk with the King,

Here's What Happened Last Night

I woke to the most beautiful sight! Dirty dishes in my sink, a reminder of a wonderful evening of fellowship! My Tuesday Morning Fall Bible Study group has come to an end. We used Anne Graham Lotz's Book "I Saw The Lord" with the video series. The videos were excellent! My Bible study leaders were Julie (an amazing mother of 5) and Mem (a Godly mother of 4 from Thailand.) (this group picture is missing 6 of the ladies)
Mem offered to cook a Thai dinner for the entire group if she could use my house - and I said a Big "YES"! So yesterday at 4:30pm Mem and Danielle arrived and got cozy in my kitchen! They whipped up a fantastic Thai meal - Yum-O!




Alexis got in on the action too!




There's Janelle from "Comfy In The Kitchen!" She brought a fabulous dessert I will post next Wednesday!

Mem not only fed us physically, but then she gathered us in the family room to feed us spiritually. I know that I am deeply blessed to be able to share life with so many young Christian moms. If you do not currently have a Bible study group, I highly recommend you attend one at your local church. If your church does not have one - start one! Go for it! Anne Graham's materials are a great place to start!


Hebrews 10:25 says "Let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another - and all the more as you see the Day approaching."


If you are in need of some good Godly encouraging friends - extend a hand of hospitality. Invite a few women from your church over, order pizza and enjoy. Do not give up meeting together - some are in the habit of doing this but we need each other to spur us on spiritually.


This group spurs me on. Do you have a group that spurs you on? Tell me about it!



Walk with the King!

9 Doors Down

I have never emailed another blogger and asked if I could literally repost their entire post for my readers. But on Friday, Karen Ehman posted this post. Since moving into my new home in February, I have found it extremely difficult to get to know my neighbors - they just don't come out! And to be honest I'm on facebook or the web with a lot of my free time - so I'm not out there either! When I run in the evenings, it's just me and the crickets! If my neighbors want to get to know me they'd have to email me! So sad. So her post hit me so hard, I emailed her and asked for permission to share it with all of you. I hope it will simply make you think about who in the world lives 9 doors down from you?

**************************************
Karen Writes:

She lived nine doors down.


In the two years we’ve lived in this subdivision, I’d seen her on my walks.


Perhaps she was rolling her trash out to the curb. Or in her front yard watering her flowers.


I’d smile and said “hi”, just for a brief second.


After all, my neighborhood is big; my life is busy.


So I’d pop my Ipod earbuds back into my ears.


And I’d keep walking.


Nine doors down.


Just nine doors down this past week flashed lights and sirens and all things alarming.


A fire? I thought as I turned into my sub, returning from an errand-running venture.


My mama heart raced. My son was home alone. Had he burnt some toast and set the smoke alarm system blaring?


Or worse?


Had a car caught fire or a power line fallen?


As my car crept closer to home, I saw it was not my house. Relief for my soul. And though the rescue vehicles were parked in front of her house, no fire appeared to be blazing at my nine-doors down neighbor’s house either.


“Must have been a false alarm”, I reasoned to myself.


It was two days later when I heard the awful news.


No fire. No smoke. Just a saddened soul.


You see, nine doors down, something happened in the soul of my nameless, flower-watering, ‘smile and say hi’ fellow human being; something told her this life was not worth living anymore.


So she made sure she stopped living.


Her heart no longer beats.


Her flowers still grow, but she can’t water them anymore.


I can still walk by her house, lost in the Jesus-music blaring on my Ipod.


But there will be no more waves. No smiles as I stroll. And no more thoughts of, “I should stop and find out her name. I haven’t really met this gal yet.”


But the conversation my husband and I have had for the past year will continue. Perhaps with greater urgency now.


In our old neighborhoods (there have been three) we’ve made it a goal to offer a Bible study. A low-key, doesn’t-matter-if-you’ve-ever-gone-to-church-before, short and simple meeting of folks who all happen to live in the same development.


Todd does this at work too. Men and women meet on their breaks to gather round and meet Jesus. Many for the first time. Their curiosity is piqued when they are handed a flier announcing the short, you-don’t-need-to-know-nothing-”Jesus-y“-to-attend study.


Others in his factory throw the flier in the trash.


Yes, right after Todd hands it to them.


In our neighborhood, we’ve not yet passed out fliers. Is it too soon? We haven’t held a Christmas open house to meet everyone yet. We’ve baked bread and pulled weeds for those real near by. But haven’t struck a friendship with too many others.


So we’ve pondered, is it time?


And do we have time?


So far we’d answered no.


Now, nine doors down, no flier is needed for the single gal who is no more.


Would things have been different if she’d gotten an invitation? Or would she have rolled it out to the curb with the rest of her trash?


God only knows.


I cannot beat myself up; but I can do something.


So can you.


We can stop, permitting God to tap us on the heart, gently interrupt, and rearrange our day.


We can go deeper; beyond a “hi!” to an authentic “Who are you?”


Will you do it?


Will you at least try?


Then, leave the results up to God.


Results are His job.


Obedience is ours.


And trust me, it is AWFUL to get to know your neighbor through the tales and tears of her relatives as she lies lifelessly nearby in a coffin.


“Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn’t do it, sins.” James 4:17


May we all respond to those taps on our hearts today and not ignore them and keep walking. God just may use us as He saves a life.


After all, remember…..

It isn’t a far walk.

It is just nine doors down.

____________________________________

If you hear God tapping too, will you respond? Will you think of one person whom you see often but have never gotten to know? Then, do something.


Ask them their name. Thank them for bagging your groceries faithfully for ten years. Hand them a thank-you card if they are someone who serves. If it is a neighbor, invite them for coffee or soda or sweet tea. Offer kind words or a hug. Anything to show God’s love.

Walk with the King!

Karen is a member of the Proverbs 31 Ministries national speaking team and is a contributor to Focus on the Family’s magazine Thriving Family. She is a featured speaker for Hearts at Home conferences for moms and is the author of four women’s books. To watch Karen on the 700 Club visit her here.

Vlog: Teaching Our Children About Friendships

I originally made this video with plans to run it on a Friday - but it's Wednesday! So up it goes and I'm sorry for mentioning the wrong day on the video! (and the freeze frame of me below is even funnier than my mess up on the days lol!!!)

Deuteronomy 6 says that parents are to teach our children along the way of life, the truth of God's word. Sometimes we will be in formal settings reading God's word to our children. But other times there will be opportunities just in the normal course of the day, to speak God's truth. So here's how to turn cooking a spaghetti dinner into an illustration for our children on friendships.

Walk with the King!

I am linked up here today:

Word Filled Wednesday's and Wordful Wednesday.

Women Friendships - Ecclesiastes 4

Wednesdays in the Word

Women Friendships - they can be complicated at times can't they? We all know how hard friendships are for little girls with the "mean girls". Then there's cliques in Jr. High and High School that can be terribly painful. Then we grow into big girls and hopefully by this point we have learned a few things about how to be a good friend and how to avoid the "porcupine" people - the people who seem to poke us all the time. We want to learn to NOT be the porcupine - and how to manage those porcupines in our life!!!

God created women with the need for relationship. Today we'll identify what to look for IN a friend and what qualities you need to develop to BE a good friend.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 reads "(9)Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work; (10)If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! (11) Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? (12) Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken."

In verse 9 we see friendships are valuable - there is a "good return" - in other words - it is a good investment to build strong friendships.

Characteristics of a true friend:

1. According to verse 10 - In order to be a good friend - you must be someone who is there for the other person when they fall down. If you are not practicing this in your life - then most likely you will find yourself feeling alone when you fall down. As a result verse 10 says that you are to be pitied. "Pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up." In order to have friends who are there for you in crisis you must be a good friend to others through thick and thin times.

2. According to verse 11 - a true friend can keep you warm. This verse makes me think of my friendship with my husband because it talks about laying with each other. But figuratively - my girl friendships warm my heart regularly. Their presence in my life make the journey brighter. So many times they have filled me with courage, hope and wisdom for today's trials.

Give of your own heart selflessly and if the recipient is wise and worthy - you will have won a friend. When you see a friend in crisis do not merely twitter, text or Facebook them - pick up the phone and pray with them, take them a meal, or take their children for the day. In these ways - you become Jesus in the flesh to them and you will warm up your friend's life.

3. According to verse 12 - A true friend helps you to not be overpowered - and defends you. A true friend overlooks your flaws and will not gossip about you behind your back but will rather defend you. I have a couple friends who have gotten "hot" when I've been verbally attacked - in those moments I saw flashes of their loyalty that I did not know existed without the attack and I greatly appreciated their depth of faithfulness. For a moment they shared my feelings and though they never acted on their feelings (because they are Christ followers) their hotness simply warmed my heart.

4. "A cord of three strands is not easily broken." Simple equation: You + Christ + plus your friend = 3. When Christ is at the center of your friendship you will find a depth and love that far surpasses that of what the world offers. That is what is so precious about Christian fellowship. We are not to be lone ranger Christians - God wants us to go to church and fellowship - if you are not a part of a church body - you must go this Sunday and begin to connect - the body of believers needs you!

My conclusion is do not bring into your "close friendship circle" a porcupine. If you find yourself saying Ouch Ouch Ouch all the time that is a red flag. A porcupine is also someone who is not there for you when you are in crisis, gossips about you and does not have Christ as the center of her life - she should be kept at arms length. Yes, she can be A friend - but she should not be your "close" friend.

And as for us - do not become a porcupine by jaded friendships! We must strive to be a true friend - be Jesus in the flesh to our friends in times of crisis - keep them warm when they are faced with trials from this cold harsh world, be loyal, faithful, loving, encouraging and life giving to them! And always keep Christ the center of your friendships. They will know we are Christians by our love.

Walk with the King!