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Women Living Well Blog: Answers to Modern Parenting Challenges

Women Living Well Blog

Monday, November 9, 2009

Answers to Modern Parenting Challenges

I was reading the book titled "Mothering Heights-A Novel Approach for Christian Mothers" by Keitha Smith and Susan Brereton this week. What I appreciate most about "Mothering Heights" is how the authors understand that there are serious modern day challenges for my generation of mothers.

1. One challenge is: "Living as many of us do these days, in nuclear families without the traditional support of extended family members, today's stay-at-home mothers experience unprecedented relational isolation. This isolation means that we rely on books and websites for the practical wisdom and parenting skills that young women once learned from their mothers, grandmothers and aunts."

I have seen first hand the struggle that many mom's face who do not have the support of their own mother near by. We live in a transient world and many have moved away from their hometowns. I see how books and websites have taken the role of mentor for mom's who do not have a real life role model. I see that gap and it is one reason that I blog!

2. "It can be difficult for modern, well-educated women to find themselves isolated at home and faced with this daily slog without feeling quite keenly that sense of loss of personal satisfaction..."

If a mom leaves the work place to stay home with her children - she may wrestle with the loss of status. If she loved her job - she may feel as though the world has gone on without her and feel isolated at home.

In the workplace, a pat on the back or bonus was affirming. But at home, many moons go by before we receive similar affirmation. There's a lot of self-doubt along the way as we wait for our children to turn 18 to see if all our time, energy, training, sweat, blood and tears -was successful!

3. Another challenge is expressed by a mom named Louise "I expected my baby to fit into our lifestyle...I was a patient person prior to children, and I looked forward to baking and making crafts together. I didn't expect to loathe baking with kids because of the mess that needed to be cleaned up...I thought that I would affirm my children constantly and didn't realize how difficult the role of discipline would be, or how difficult it is to find the balance between affirming and disciplining."

For some moms - our expectations of motherhood and the reality do not match. As a result, we may feel guilty for not being the mom we imagined we'd be. We didn't expect sleep deprivation, reflux, behavioral trouble, being a referee 24/7, difficult vacations or the defiance of our two and 13 year old!

So what is the solution to these modern day challenges?

The author writes "As mothers, it is vital that we ground our lives firmly in the Scriptures so that we listen to what God has to say, to Biblical wisdom and not to the wisdom of the world. Women who earnestly desire to be good mothers need to live in a right relationship with the Lord, to commit everything to him first and foremost, including their hopes, dreams, and expectations, not only for themselves but also for their children."

Whether you stay home with your children or work outside the home - the solution to overcoming many of the modern day parenting challenges is walking with the King (I'm referring to the King of Kings - God)? The Bible will not tell you specifically how to get your children to eat their peas or how to get your child to stay in bed...but it will give you principles for how to train your children's attitudes, character, and heart. God's word will also give you the purpose, strength, joy, hope, and the love you need to complete the tasks God has given you!

If you are looking for God's wisdom for handling your parenting challenges - begin in the book of Proverbs.

Also, a sample chapter of Mothering Heights is available here - this chapter is a MUST read! It has great succinct bullet point tips for marriage, parenting, homemaking and more! This book is written beautifully and includes the literary works of Pride and Prejudice, Treasure Island, Sense and Sensibility, Great Expectations and many more! I recommend this book for a mom who is weary with no role models!

Walk with the King!

Mama Buzz



Blogger Clare said...

Need to grab this book! I "feel the pain" described in challenges 1,2 and 3!!!!

November 9, 2009 at 7:36 AM  
Blogger Jenn said...

I love your blog! I gave you a Lovely Blog Award, you can find it here

God Bless,

November 9, 2009 at 8:29 AM  
Anonymous Julie@comehaveapeace said...

Looks like an excellent book with some very timely topics. Thanks for the great summary and inspiration to read!

November 9, 2009 at 11:29 AM  
Blogger Jennifer Thorn said...

Thanks Courtney, I am always looking for more good parenting books mainly because if reason #1. Can't wait to get my hands on it!

November 9, 2009 at 1:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am one of these women without a mother role-model. I thank God for my father; he is a wonderful man and did the best he could for myself and my younger brother. The Lord blessed me with a patient, kind and wonderful husband who is a great caretaker as well and helped fill in the gaps where...I didn't know any better. :) This book sounds like a great find for ladies like me.

December 30, 2009 at 9:21 PM  

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