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Women Living Well Blog: Being a Good Friend

Women Living Well Blog

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Being a Good Friend

God created women to be awesome companions. Do you remember when you were a little girl at recess? We‘d giggle with the other girls, hold hands, write notes, and have pretend clubs. I wore a necklace that was half of a heart – my best friend wore the other half. But there was a dark side to this, you see unlike the little boys who were throwing punches and wrestling on the playground – we girls were slinging verbal punches.

Remember the pretend club you couldn’t get into because the little girls didn’t accept you? Or the clique of girls that ignored you, or the girl who was your best friend one day and someone else’s the very next day? Then we grew up and it was the sorority you couldn’t get into or the clique of girls at church who ignored you or the girl who was your best friend the one day and didn’t return your calls or email the next. If you are a human – you’ve suffered a wounded friendship. I've been there - I have had a few friendships over the years that have soured and I can't describe in words the deep pain that I have experienced and wrestled with.

Yesterday I scratched the surface of the first fruit of the Spirit - Love. Today I want to move into the application of living out love in our friendships with women.

Think about one strand of spaghetti. Alone it is very weak – easy to snap in half. But when you grab a big hand full of spaghetti and you try to break the whole group in half, it's difficult. They strengthen each other. That’s what we can do for one other.

Romans 15:1-3 says, “We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves. Each of us should please his neighbor for his good, to build him up. For even Christ did not please himself but, as it is written: “The insults of those who insult you have fallen on me”.

In our friendships we should seek to build our sister up for her own good. When she is weak - you can make her strong. And when you are weak - a good friend will make you strong.

Verse 3 says to look at Christ, he is your example, he did not please himself. As a matter of fact, when someone insults one of his children, he takes it personally – it’s as if they have insulted him. Do you insult and gossip and criticize your sister in Christ? If you do, it’s as if you criticized Christ!

Hallmark and American Greetings card lines know how vital women friendships are. They have a card to say how much you mean to me, encourage you when you’re down, a special thank you, congratulations, or a precious goodbye. Do they have friendship cards geared at men? No - it’d be a financial disaster! God designed women to be awesome companions. It’s a gift from God. Be what God has designed you to be – a good friend!

Tell your friends you love them - don't be shy, hug them, cry with them, write them encouraging notes, point out their strengths, listen to their heart, pray for them, forgive them when they have a bad day and are thoughtless, be loyal, and love them like Jesus does. Not only will you receive unconditional love in return but you will be teaching the next generation how to build strong Godly friendships - this is vital in the body of Christ.

The first fruit of the Spirit is love. Be a good friend today!

Walk with the King!

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Blogger Regina Coblentz said...

Hey Courtney....thanks for the blog. This topic really hit the spot for me this morning. I went for my quiet time & I could not do it. I was struggling w/some things w/a best friend and it kept me from my time w/God. I realized in Mark 4:18-19, I had a "thorn" in my life & it kept me from "hearing" his word. I tried to read but could not hear. My thoughts were consuming me. I finally poured out my thoughts to her & also a called another friend and she prayed w/me on the phone. I then felt like I could go to prayer time. I had felt like Satan was attacking my time w/God. I had to deal w/things before I could continue my time w/God. Does that make sense? Anyways, thanks for your blog. They really help me a lot.

March 19, 2009 at 1:26 PM  
Blogger kimmy said...

I looove that!Thanks so much! It also really was touching to me as well. I'm sure this will hit home with all of us in some way.I love having friends but its a lot of work especially now with being married and kids. I love the verse that says that love covers over a multitude of sins b/c that always helps me when I've been hurt or felt left out. I just pray that I'm a good friend and not the one that someone is thinking of and hurt by.

March 19, 2009 at 1:36 PM  
Blogger Courtney said...

Wow Gina thanks for sharing your story! That is great that you were so sensitive to the Spirit! I'm encouraged and you make complete sense!!! :-)

Yes, Kimi great verse - I Peter 4:8 says to "love each other deeply, for love covers over a multitude of sins." How forgiving of a friend we are, measures how deep our love is.

And I agree maintaining close friendships are harder once you are married and with children - but so vital - we need each other! Without them I am just one little strand of spaghetti!!! I LOVE my friends - you all make me so much stronger!

March 19, 2009 at 2:48 PM  
Blogger Mom24Blessings said...

That was so sweet! I feel so incredibly blessed to have so many great friends and I pray I am a great friend as well. 1Peter 4:8 is one of my favorites as well.

March 19, 2009 at 10:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

thanks for writing about this, its an important reminder. tahnsk for reminding me to not be shy with my friends, hug them, love them and cry with them.
-liz young

March 20, 2009 at 8:27 AM  
Blogger The Sensible Momma said...

wonderful post! It can be so hard to trust and love again after being hurt, yet you have reminded me that God is the One that gives me strength to love in my relationships...thank you for this post!

March 21, 2009 at 10:22 AM  
Blogger Carly said...

Hey Courtney! Thanks for this post (a year later! I just found you recently so I'm doing a lot of catching up.) This post did bring up a marriage question for me, though! What is the best way you found, before you had kids, to balance friendships and marriage? I'm sure it's even harder with kids, but we're not to that stage of life yet! Any direction would be appreciated. Thanks for what you're doing I love your blog.

March 2, 2010 at 10:22 AM  

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