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Women Living Well Blog: Unity in Marriage

Women Living Well Blog

Monday, February 9, 2009

Unity in Marriage

I had a wonderful weekend on my scrapbooking retreat in Amish Country - it was as much about retreating for me as it was about scrapbooking. I did not check email, facebook, the website or my blog for 48 hours! That was actually hard for me!!! But I had lots of laughs, food and meaningful conversations - and discussions about marriage.

As the night went on and we talked about marriage - the ladies began to open up about their men - their struggles - their feelings and philosophies on marriage and I listened and took it ALL in. So now I am pondering all that I took in. One conclusion I came to is that bonding in marriage is so needed today in our fast paced culture. We all agreed that we wish we had more alone time with our men. It's easy to be so busy on our laptops, treadmills, with our kids, chores, and work that we can miss out on the blessings that God wants for us in our marriage.

In Matthew 19: 5 and 6 Jesus says "A man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife and they will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what god has joined together, let man not separate." We are literally joined together into one flesh with our husbands - yet do we feel like one? Do we act in unity on our decisions, parenting, selfless acts, love and respect?

God created marriage to be a blessing but sometimes we don't reap those blessings because we are not acting in unison with our husband. So how do we grow towards oneness with our husband and experience this intimacy? Here's some practical steps:

1. Tell your husband you like him and show it.
2. Praise his good decisions.
3. Be gracious with his bad decisions.
4. If you disagree with him discuss it in private - not in front of his kids or friends. This respect that you give him will draw him nearer to you.
5. Have a date night at least once a month where you take time for face to face talking and listening.
6. Do not criticize your husband - compliment him. Your husband may love that you keep a clean house and are a great mom - but what he really hungers for is to be told he is wonderful - just as you do!

This list may seem like a lot of work and you may feel like your husband will never reciprocate -but a good marriage with deep intimacy doesn't happen overnight. It takes practice and developing healthy habits that enrich both of your lives so you can reap the blessings that God desires for you and your marriage.

Valentines Day is just 5 days away - it's the perfect opportunity for an intimate date. If you can't get a sitter be creative and plan something special for the two of you after the kids are in bed at home. Invest in the unity of your marriage and you will reap the blessings!

Walk with the King!



Blogger LAW said...

We really do get so busy and forget the little things are important. I have been married 16 years and there are definite times I take him for granted. This list is refreshing and renewel. Thanks.

February 9, 2009 at 10:38 AM  
Blogger Courtney said...

Yes, I don't think we will ever master unity in marriage. We will always have to work hard to have a marriage that is pleasing to God simply because of our sin nature!

Reviewing these truths are helping me as I write - I am evaluating myself and working harder to "practice what I preach".

Press on!

February 9, 2009 at 9:09 PM  

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