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Women Living Well Blog: You Are Your Husband's Helper

Women Living Well Blog

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

You Are Your Husband's Helper

Wow - that's a hard statement to swallow for a women's lib lady of today! Genesis 2:18 says that when God created Eve that she was created to be a "helper suitable for him (Adam)." That is the wife's purpose. It is quite plain and simple in black and white. When you act as a "helper suitable for ... (insert your husband's name here)", you are glorifying God. You were created to be your husband's helper. And yet this is a tough thing to blog about because I know that it will offend someone out there!

It is hard for women to sit back and simply help their husbands - we are tempted to lead them, boss them, criticize them, expect them to take care of themselves and us, be tidy, and a helper to us. But in actuality - they are not our helpers - we are their helpers! Yes, God desires that they be servant leaders but whether they are actually doing that should make no difference as to our attitude of being their helper.

You were not created to be a helper to all men - you were created specifically to be the helper of your man. So what your husband needs will differ from what my husband needs. My husband needs me to iron his shirts. Your husband may enjoy ironing. Your husband may like your children to have a late bedtime so he can spend time with them - while my husband may want an early bedtime for the children so we can spend time alone together. Neither is right or wrong - but it does look different in application.

So we have three things to consider:

1: Know your husband. Know his likes and dislikes and help him in the areas that he has asked for help. Do not wait for him to make a list or verbally ask you to do something - but always have an attitude of helpfulness with eyes wide open looking for ways to meet their needs.

2: Do not compare your marriage to your friends, sisters or even your pastors! Your husband is unique and you are unique; therefore, you have a unique marriage. You must seek to please your husband and no one else.

3: Do not wait for your husband to "deserve" to be helped. We should do what is right no matter what others are doing around us (isn't that what we teach our children?).

When you don't fight your nature and what God has created you for - you will find peace and blessing even in the midst of a difficult marriage - and you may find a difficult marriage blossom into a warm and loving marriage when you first focus on being who God has created you to be - rather than focusing on changing your husband.

I Corinthians 11:8,9 "For man did not come from woman, but woman from man, neither was man created for woman, but woman for man."

Walk with the King!



Anonymous Anonymous said...

May I offer my hearty "Amen!" I think this truth has made such a difference in our marriage (which, might I add, has not been a warm fuzzy one). I can't count the number of times my husband has expressed gratitude for what I do after talking with other men whose wives are not "helping." I appreciate your courage in sharing this unpopular truth. :)

February 4, 2009 at 8:51 AM  
Blogger Courtney said...

Thanks Stephanie! It's encouraging to know that there's other women out there - passionately following their Lord and Savior in the area of their marriage! Press on!

February 4, 2009 at 2:40 PM  
Anonymous Kristin said...

Great topic, was just praying about this yesterday. Thanks for posting it!

February 4, 2009 at 4:46 PM  
Blogger Mom24Blessings said...

I totally agree..this is so important!
I find it is such a blessing when I serve my husband the way God intended-as his helper! Discontentment creeps in when we have expectations of our husbands that aren't Gods expectations. Like Stephanie said knowing this truth has made a huge difference in my marriage and in my purpose! Don't be afraid to offend someone that might be just what they need to hear....of course its not my name on here so that is easy to say:-)
Looking forward to hearing more on this!

February 4, 2009 at 5:56 PM  
Blogger Courtney said...

Thanks girlies! I said a prayer of blessing today for my readers marriages.

I love you,

February 4, 2009 at 9:49 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you! This was a word for me in due season:-).

October 19, 2009 at 7:41 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I concur completely. Ever since the fall of man, there has been conflict between man and woman for dominance. I think part of it might have to do with the fact that women fear being trampled on...I'm not sure. I still have a lot to learn and I love coming to your website to do just that!

November 17, 2009 at 9:46 AM  
Blogger Courtney (Women Living Well) said...

Anonymous - so glad you stopped by!!!

November 17, 2009 at 8:51 PM  

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