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Women Living Well Blog: Are you a People Pleaser?

Women Living Well Blog

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Are you a People Pleaser?

By nature I am a "people pleaser" but if you know my husband you know that I did not marry a "people pleaser". Over the years he has convinced me that I put too much stock in what other people think about me, my kids, and my decisions in life.

Have you ever had those moments where you think "do people judge me for my past?" or "what will people say about this decision I made?" or "what kind of mom do they think I am when they see my child acting a little nutty?" I am aware that people form opinions of others based on some of these things. And our own selfishness causes us to want people to only think well of us. Of course - God wants us to be women who have a reputation for being a follower of him and for righteousness but that's not really what I'm referring to here. I'm referring to that "people pleasing" need that causes you to be gripped with fear when you fail or are who you really are - a flawed person!

Galatians 1:10 says "Am I now trying to win the approval of men or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ."

Paul said here - that his rank and status with men no longer hold him captive. He now tries to please an audience of one - God.

Whose approval are you striving to win? Your friends? Boss? Children? or just one - God's. Other people's opinions should hold no power over you. When you choose to follow Christ - you choose to forgo pleasing people.

So let's do it together today! We will strive to please one - God and if by chance we receive approval from others - do not put too much stock in it - because tomorrow their approval could flip-flop and be gone - because we are really all the same - flawed.
Walk with the King!



Anonymous Kelly C. said...

I feel like I could have written this myself! As a people pleaser married to a non-pleaser it has helped me change my focus. Galatians 1:10 encourages me so much when I get my focus off who I should be pleasing and like you said the one who is pleased with you today may not be the next.

September 24, 2008 at 2:43 PM  
Blogger Courtney said...

Hey girl! Thanks for stopping by to chat about things of God!

Thank Goodness we have husbands who call us out on this! They know how much mental energy we waste on trying to please everyone all the time.

But when we stop people pleasing, we will have freedom in Christ and will have overcome a hurdle that holds us back.

Love you girl! We can keep each other accountable on this!!

September 24, 2008 at 3:32 PM  
Anonymous Kristin D. said...

Yes, I totally agree. I am a people pleaser myself and am also married to a non-pleaser. I am so glad that God gave me Ron to help me realize I should have one focus and that is on pleasing God and living out His Word in every area of my life!

Thanks Courtney for writing about this and reminding me who I MUST look to for approval!

September 29, 2008 at 11:24 AM  
Blogger Courtney said...

Thanks for sharing Kristen! I wonder if men struggle less than women with this issue? Since our husband's seem to have no trouble with this??!!Lucky Dogs!!!

Keep pleasing the audience of one!!! He loves you so!

September 29, 2008 at 1:48 PM  
Blogger Jean said...

People pleasing can cause so many problems. I struggle with it as well. I think it's worse when you're in ministry. You strive to please, but sometimes get the Lord's Will and people's wants mixed up. I've had to really pull back and let God show me truth. My dh is also a non-pleaser.

May 31, 2010 at 12:03 AM  
Anonymous Rene said...

I'm glad I went back and just poured over your website today. I am a self-admitted people pleaser. Not so much of the type that says "I'm doing this so they will think of me this way" kind, but I'm guessing just a "do-gooder" type. My mother always says that I was "easy" when I was younger because I never gave her any trouble...on my end...bc I was aiming to please.

I can still see some of these traits in myself.

June 29, 2010 at 9:28 AM  
Blogger Mellissa said...

This really spoke to me, I am so happy you posted it! I love the part where you bring up the EXCELLENT point that, "Other people's opinions should hold no power over you. When you choose to follow Christ- you choose to forgo pleasing people."

Thank you for this wonderful post, I really needed this reminder!

September 29, 2010 at 12:42 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello Courtney!

Thank you for your ministry. You have been such a blessing to my heart as I've followed your blog over the last year. I just wanted to ask about parents in regards to people pleasing. What do you do when your father is proud of us (my husband and I), but also upset with us about our prideful immaturity. We have said some things in the past and have asked his forgiveness. I think he's still harboring these hurts. What is the loving and right response?
Thank you for your time and care Courtney!

February 24, 2011 at 7:14 PM  

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