Book Review: ReChurch by Stephen Mansfield

Have you been wounded by the mean girl at church? Has the Pastor alienated you or your family? Have the teens in your church rejected your teen and now the entire family has dropped out of church? Are you afraid to get involved in a new church for fear of being hurt AGAIN? Then the book ReChurch: Healing Your Way Back To the People Of God is for you!

The New Testament name for the church is ekklesia meaning "the called out ones" -a people drawn from darkness to God and to one another. "To be a part of a church, when it is right and good, is to plug into a loving power grid of possibilities and meaning and joy."pg.42

I think one reason it hurts terribly bad to be hurt by a Christian is that church is the one place where you expect to be safe from harm. But Mansfield says "To be surprised that human nature would rear its ugly head - in the very place where it is under the greatest pressure to change, where the stakes are high and the devil strikes hard - is simply biblical ignorance and a failure to live in any sort of connection to the real world."


He reminds the reader that those we meet at church and in homes for cell groups bear the image of God but also the scars of evil. We must not gloss over our world and believe that Christians are perfect or we will suffer in our naivete.


We all dream of that day of reckoning when those who wronged us come forward and say they were wrong and we were right. But the reality is people move on. People forget. And we are left to pick up the pieces. Mansfield says "Much that distinguishes maturity form immaturity - and happiness from misery - is how you respond to the offenses that life insists on dealing out to us all."pg. 89


What does it take to heal and reconnect with the church? Forgiveness. This was my favorite section of the book so I'll sum up what I learned from pages 102 to 108.

Forgiveness in the Greek has 3 meanings:
1. Aphiemi means to send away or to set free. On the day of atonement a scapegoat was chosen and carried to a solitary place and released into the desert, carrying with it all the sins of the people. Jesus is our scapegoat. To forgive is to place the sins and wrongs done to us on Jesus and send those sins away. The hurt needs somewhere to go and we won't feel differently about the person who wronged us until we place that hurt somewhere else - that is on Jesus.

2. Alphesis means to release, as from prison. We need to release those who have wronged us from the prison of our mind. We hold them there in captivity judging them time and again - growing angrier by the day. We rehearse what we'd say to them if we could and how we'd explain ourselves. But to forgive is to release them from this prison of our mind.

3. Charisomai means to bestow a favor or extend mercy. Often we assume that those who hurt us were intentional. One key to forgiveness is to find the compassionate narrative behind their hurtful actions. We must enter the story of those who have wronged us to see why they behaved the way they did. After entering their story, we are more likely to extend mercy and forgiveness.

Do not give up on the body of believers we call the church. Darkness presses at the edge of light. We must overcome the darkness and cling to the light. If you are in a place of struggling to overcome past pain and hurt caused by the church, this book may be what you need to help you through. Mansfield's real life pain, trials, rejection and finally triumphs will soothe your weary soul.

Walk with the King!

*Thank you Tyndale for providing me with a complimentary copy of this book to review.

How to Handle Betrayal

The kids are counting down days until Easter! Each morning my son reminds me of how many days we have left! Just 3 more days! They are really looking forward to church and dinner with their grandparents and cousins!

I wonder what it felt like for Jesus on Thursday morning when he woke up, knowing that tonight he'd be arrested? Could he really go about his day as if nothing HUGE was about to happen?

The Jewish passover began at sundown Thursday evening. So that meant he had a long day of waiting for the sun to set...could you imagine if tonight you knew one of your closest friends would betray you and you'd be arrested?

At sunset, Jesus and his disciples went to the upper room to share their passover meal. Before this dinner - Judas had already betrayed Jesus for 30 pieces of silver. Matthew 26:14 tells us this was Judas' own idea - he was not propositioned by the religious leaders, he went to them! And now Jesus sits in the upper room and the first thing he says is "one of you will betray me tonight... Woe to that man who betrays the Son of Man! It would be better for him if he had not been born." Can you imagine the pit in Judas' stomach? What was he thinking? How could he sit there without saying a word?

After dinner, Jesus goes into the Garden of Gethsemane to pray and there Judas arrives with the soldiers following him and he greets Jesus "Greetings Rabbi (Teacher)! and he kissed him." Jesus replied "FRIEND, do what you came for."

Did we just hear Jesus correctly - did he call Judas, his betrayer, his friend? Trust me, if a "so-called" friend had just turned me in for something I was innocent of - "friend" is not the term I'd use to describe them.

Jesus treated his betrayer as if he was faithful.

Max Lucado says of Judas "Jesus could see something we can't... Jesus knew Judas had been seduced by a powerful foe. He was aware of the wiles of Satan's whispers. He knew how hard it was for Judas to do what was right. He didn't justify what Judas did. He didn't minimize the deed. Nor did he release Judas from his choice. But he did look eye to eye with his betrayer and try to understand. As long as you hate your enemy, a jail door is closed and a prisoner is taken. But when you try to understand and release your foe from your hatred, then the prisoner is released and that prisoner is you."

Has a close friend or relative betrayed you? How have you responded? Jesus treated his betrayer as if he was faithful. The word "Christian" means a follower of Christ. If you are a Christian - follow Christ's example. Try to understand that there is a powerful foe that is having victory in your betrayer's life.

In the end, Judas was overcome with guilt. He tried to return the money to the chief priests but they would not accept it. "So Judas threw the money into the temple and left. Then he went away and hung himself." (Matt. 27:5)

Your betrayer is in his own prison of misery. Release your foe from your hatred - and be free. Jesus went to the cross so you could live free!

Walk with the King!

http://www.womenlivingwell.org/

What NOT to Journal!

Cracking open my fresh journal this January was exciting! I bought a simple 5 Subject Notebook with folder inserts and got busy in it. I have received emails from a few of you that you are starting journaling also this year! That's exciting and I know that you will reap benefits beyond what you can imagine from this tool (and don't be discourged if you missed a few days - just keep at it - it will grow on you!).

So there is one thing that you never ever want to journal and if you are starting new you may find yourself tempted in this area. Many moons ago, I used to journal to God complete stories of a bad situation that would have happened - like something mean someone said to me and how I felt about it or I'd have a long pity party - yuck - rereading those entries is no fun! Stuff that should be long forgotten and more importantly forgiven comes flooding back to my mind as fresh as the day the wounds were made. These journal entries litter my journal and need torn out and thrown away!

I have learned that if my husband and I squabble - the details should not be included in that days entry - I may write "Keith and I disagreed over ... ." But I leave it without emotion for two reasons: 1) someone may read these journals someday - like a child of mine, and 2)Because once we hug, kiss and make up - the subject should be dropped. I would not like it if my husband was journaling all my mistakes! This goes for children too!

Part of forgiving and forgetting in life is not allowing your mind to replay those words that sting. For some, you may think of journaling as a way to get all your bottled up emotions out - but I find it better when I'm really troubled to sit and write one verse after another after another until my heart is lifted. I know when I flip to a page that has verse after verse written over and over that something was going on that upset me and I was laying those emotions at Jesus' feet and allowing him to hold me and comfort me.

So, as you start a new year - remember that words that are written can be reread. Leave the bitterness and ugliness your heart sometimes feels out! And if you must write - tear it out and toss it when you are done!

Colossians 3:13 says "Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you." Obey this command and you will live well in 2009!

Walk With the King!

Courtney

http://www.womenlivingwell.org/

Dealing With Guilt - Part 2

Yesterday I wrote on my struggle with guilt. I struggle with guilt over small sinless things - like not having a warm coat on my children when I see all the other preschoolers arrive in their winter coats! To guilt over real sin - like the things that come too quickly out of my mouth when I am angry with one of my children.

Guilt is a universal experience. I received quite a few emails from readers saying that they too have this struggle and I thought maybe I should say more. So I went to my Bible searching for more and I found the answer in one word "Jesus"!

We all have a God-given conscience. Our conscience is committed to getting accounts settled with God and to make things right when we've done wrong.

Hebrews 10:22 talks about our conscience and it says "Let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water."

This is one power house of a verse! Do you see what it says - when you feel guilty - draw near to God. Isn't that the opposite of what we want to do? Trust me when those lights came on behind me last Sunday (see Monday's blog) my conscience made me want to hide not chat with a police officer!

But this verse says - "draw near to God with a sincere heart" - be open and honest with God - he already knows what you have done. And don't be scared have "full assurance of faith" - God always loves you - you are his child.

How are we able to come to his throne? Through the blood of his son, Jesus, shed on the cross and that blood has "sprinkled our hearts and it cleanses our guilty conscience!" Wow! God knew that our consciences would bother us - and he wants us to know that our conscience has been cleansed through his blood. We are right with God not because of any of our works but because of his blood alone!

So I want you to ease your conscience today. Picture your heart like a cup cake with sprinkles - it's a delight to God - he does not see all that bad you see. Draw near to God right now and tell him your failures and allow him to sprinkle blood on your conscience and cleanse you and then believe it, accept it and live in it!

Walk with the King!

Courtney
http://www.womenlivingwell.org/

Guilt - Do You Struggle With It?

"Mommy - I'm SO sorry" are the words I heard coming from my daughters room after she had already been put to bed last night. So I entered her room and there she sat on her bed crying and again she said, "Mommy - I am SO sorry" and she held up a little plastic doggie that she had chewed on and broken.

Normally, there is a consequence for breaking toys - but her remorse was so obvious that my heart had compassion on her. She was clearly upset that she had broken the doggie and the only thing she needed at this point was forgiveness and a hug.

Do you struggle with guilt? Maybe you have a past that haunts you. Maybe you had an addiction in the past that ruined family relationships or you chose an abortion at a young age. Maybe you feel guilty for something you said in anger to your husband or about the food choices you make. Maybe you worry that you are not a good enough mother and feel guilty for all your short comings.

I bought a bag of 100 daffodil bulbs that I have yet to plant. Each morning I see the frost I feel guilty that I have not planted those yet - they stare at me condemningly every time I go into the garage! I feel badly that I wasted the money on them or that I've been too "lazy" to get out and plant those and when spring comes if there's no spring flowers AGAIN in front of my house - I will AGAIN feel the guilt of my fall failure!

Do you struggle with guilt over big and small things or am I alone here?

As you can see by my current struggle with the daffodils - this has been an issue for me. The list of failures I feel guilty for is too long to list - from my failure to nurse my son successfully (which was not a sin and I should not feel guilty about! - but I do) to silly daffodils! It's endless!

But when I saw my daughter in bed crying over her remorse for the broken doggie it reminded me of the compassion God shows us. He loves us as deeply as I love my daughter and he does not wish to see his daughters cry over our failures. Once we have said we are sorry he immediately forgives us. Yet the real question is - do we forgive ourselves?

Would it surprise you to hear that the Bible does not say anything about forgiving ourselves! That's a pop culture idea. Our freedom from guilt and shame is completely dependent on us understanding God's deep forgiveness of all of our sins. I John 1:9 says "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins, and purify us from all unrighteousness."

Your choice is - feel guilt and shame and wallow in it or confess your sin to God and be cleansed from all unrighteousness. Let's choose to be free from guilt! If you have confessed your sins you are free! God wants you to live like you are free! Believe it, accept it, and live in it!

Walk with the King!

Courtney

http://www.womenlivingwell.org/

Ps. Is it too late for me to plant these daffodils even though we've had frost or could I do it this weekend and they would come up? Anyone know?

How to Handle Insults

Criticism can come from so many avenues - it can come from - parents, in-laws, friends, co-workers, our children, and even our husbands.

Webster's dictionary defines insult as "to treat with contempt, indignity, or to offend."

So how do we as God fearing women handle insults? Let's see how Jesus handled them.

As Christ hung on the cross Matthew 27:39 & 40 tell us, "Those who passed by hurled insults at Him, shaking their heads and saying... "Come down from the cross, if you are the Son of God."

Argh! How frustrating it must have been for Christ to listen to their insults. He could have jumped off that cross with no problem!!! He is God! He could have said to them - "just give me three days and then see if I still need to prove that I'm the Son of God to you!"

Can you even imagine having the power of Christ and not responding to these insults! Since Christ would not come down he appeared powerless but Christ crucified is the Power of God! He had only one response to the insults found in Luke 23:34. Jesus said "Father, forgive them for they do not know what they are doing."

Christ prayed for the forgiveness of these men who hurled insults at him. We should do the same. The world does not usually respond this way - they say - stand up for yourself - you have a right to be bitter and angry. But Christ did not express this sort of emotion. He only expressed sympathy and prayed for them.

Today - pray for someone who has hurt you. Pray that God forgives them and that you too would forgive them.

Walk with the King!

Courtney

http://www.womenlivingwell.org/