Women Living Well Blog

Saturday, March 5, 2011

5 Second Survey: Is Your Mom Your Role Model?

I just posted a 5 second survey along my left side column. I am wondering how many of us grew up in homes where our mothers were good role models for us to follow as wives and moms?

Thank you so much for your feedback!!! Feel free to leave any comments or thoughts you have on this topic below.

Keep Walking with King!

80 Comments:

Andrea said...: WOW! 63% say no! Yikes! I said yes. My mother is an amazing woman and she loves the Lord and LIVES it! She taught me how to love the Lord and that following Him is the only way to do life! She is and was a wonderful mother to me and an great wife to my dad. Now I will say that I don't think I was taught to be a keeper of the home in the way that I wish I had been. My mother worked all her life and enjoyed working outside of the home and we always had a housekeeper and later my grandmother lived with us for many years and she did much of the cooking and cleaning. So, I really wasn't taught how to run a home. Not her fault, she honestly probably never thought about it. I however, want to teach my daughter the virtue of keeping a home. It doesn not come easy for me, there has been a lot of trial and error, but I am getting it! Thanks for the survey! Very interesting!; March 5, 2011 at 8:52 PM
Anonymous said...: I think my mom tried...we went to church and I remember her trying to get us to read the Bible and/or Bible verses at the Sunday dinner table at times. But she didn't really help us learn what a relationship with Christ was. I think I was taught more of the legalistic part than the relationship part.

But my dad was an addict. So she worked A LOT. Then they separated when I was in 9th grade so she worked even more.

Even though she wasn't a godly woman, she at least took me to church and gave the basis of knowing about God. I got really involved in drugs and stripping and such for a while. But I knew I needed God and He found me one night when I called out to him.

I'm now a college graduate, married to a wonderful man, with kids of our own. God is with me and I try to always live for Him. I'm not perfect and I know I have a ways to go to being a better mother and wife, but I'm sure as heck going to break the cycle!!!; March 5, 2011 at 8:54 PM
Hen Jen said...: I did not, but when I was a freshman in highschool, I became friends with a girl who had a mother who was incredible, and cared about us, didn't ignore us, and she had a really big impact on me. For the first time I saw the opportunity of mothering, the gift and the ministry. I was not a Christian when I first met her.; March 5, 2011 at 9:01 PM
Mrs. Stam said...: sadly It;s no for me, but by God grace our daughter will be able to say yes one day; March 5, 2011 at 9:01 PM
Anonymous said...: My mother was (is) a Christian and has been since she was a teen. She attended church on and off while we was being reared, even taught kiddos in Sunday School. But at home, she was anything but a Christian. "Hypocrite" is the correct term for her walk back then. I seemed to get just enough knowledge to believe God existed and that Jesus was His only Son... Generally speaking, she was a good mother.

When I look back, I am puzzled why she didn't cling to God, walk with God, and love Him like she claimed she did. She was not a mentor for me. Now that I know Him personally through His Son, I see where she missed out. She is walking with Him now. Praise God.

~A; March 5, 2011 at 9:03 PM
Courtney (Women Living Well) said...: Andrea - I LOVE your testimony of a mom who loved the Lord and lived it!!! You can read books on how to cook and clean. She taught you the most important thing for life - to love your savior! Beautiful!

Anonymous - I LOVE your fortitude to break the cycle!!! You go girl!!! Generations will be changed because of your stance - be strong!

Hen Jen - Oh how I hope one day I can be that mom to my daughters friends. What an amazing testimony and influence that mother had on you. Beautiful!

Mrs.Stam - I know your daughter will!!! You are a praying mommy - and I know because of your prayers for me. There is power in prayer - keep on praying!!!

Thanks everyone for your honest feedback!!
Much Love,
Courtney; March 5, 2011 at 9:07 PM
Anonymous said...: I voted no. My mother is a pretty staunch new agey feminist man hater. My father is an alcoholic and there was no religion in our home. My influence came when at 18 I went to stay with family who lived / worked at a little bible college. I accepted Yahshua there and began to form undertanding of the man's right to headship over the home because of the women I met there. No one in my family supports submission or a woman staying home, including those who are christian. I'm a skirt wearing oddity in our 'clan' :); March 5, 2011 at 9:11 PM
Courtney (Women Living Well) said...: Anonymous A - I think it's harder to live with a hypocrite than someone who just simply says they don't believe and are honest about it. How very hard that must have been for you! I am so glad to hear that she is walking with Jesus now - wow - what a life change!
Courtney; March 5, 2011 at 9:12 PM
Courtney (Women Living Well) said...: Erela!!! Wow - your story - how moving!! Your last sentence made me smile - you are an "oddity" in your family - but not here sister!!! From one odd duck to another - you are fabulous!!!

Keep walking with the King!
Courtney; March 5, 2011 at 9:13 PM
SimplyKarin said...: I hope to be a fraction of the wonderful mom I have. She grew up on a dairy farm, and does she know how to work! Even now as an adult she can get more done in an hour at home than I do in some days!

She is a walking example of a servants heart and a loving wife and mom. She puts others ahead of herself (in the good way!) and is very thoughtful in her words, actions, and life.

Her faith is a quiet one, but now as an adult I see how her faith played out in everyday circumstances. She continues to work and follow the Lord everyday and encourages me to do the same!; March 5, 2011 at 9:15 PM
Courtney (Women Living Well) said...: Simply Karin - WOWSA - your mom sounds like someone I need to meet and just watch for a day!!! She sounds wonderful! What an amazing blessing you have - you have a Proverbs 31:28 mother!; March 5, 2011 at 9:17 PM
Becky @ From Ministry to Motherhood said...: My Mom is a delightful woman. My Mom did it all. She worked (and has become quite the high powered career woman), she took care of the home and she provided care and attention to each of us. She taught us about God, took us to church and made sure we felt that we had someone to talk to if we needed it. When my Dad was ordained she became the Minister's wife and has been so supportive throughout his career. As I progressed through Ministry I've always been able to count on my Mom for spiritual guidance and support. She knew I was called before I did! I am grateful to God for the blessing he gave me in my Mother.; March 5, 2011 at 9:23 PM
Courtney (Women Living Well) said...: Becky - what a powerful testimony of an amazing mom!! I am so thankful for these women who go before us and light our way! Thank you for sharing!; March 5, 2011 at 9:29 PM
K said...: I couldn't really say yes or no to the survey. I think in many ways my Mom taught me to be a good wife and mother - by example, not with words. And I'm very thankful for the many practical skills she passed on just by letting me watch and then help, and then do - when she went to work, helping my Dad run his business. We always attended church, served faithfully, but I'm not sure I could say my Mom (or Dad) modeled a personal relationship with God. I do wish I had had more of an example of a personal relationship with God, with relying on Him, but I am learning this now, and thankful for His love and care.; March 5, 2011 at 9:30 PM
Unknown said...: My mother was a physically and emotianally abusive paranoid schizophrenic alcholic. She also called herself a "Jehovah's Wittness". She climed to be a christian and maybe she actually thought herself to be one, but she was far from it. She quit drinking many many years ago and miraculously can't remember anything she ever did to me and my brother. I forgave her a very long time ago.

I have been a faithful Christian for about five years now. My children will grow up and be able to proudly click "yes" to your little survey! We love the Lord Jesus Christ with all of our hearts over here in my corner! :); March 5, 2011 at 9:34 PM
Michele said...: Funny you posted this because I read your post a few days ago about your mom and left a comment on it.
Unfortunately my mom was not the best role model, she was emotionally unavailable, never encouraged me or showed me support, I don't remember her being there for me or ever reaching out to hug me or show me any affection and she never told me that she loved me.
I remember always showing her affection and one day while I was giving he a hug and a kiss she told me to stop it because I was to clingy.
She never spoke to us about the Lord and even though she considers herself catholic she was not a happy camper when I became a Christian and gave my life over to God and even bashed me for it. I tried to show her God's love during that time but also let her know that it was not o.k for her to continue to put me down and that I wouldn't be able to be around much if she kept mocking me and my love for Jesus.
I now have two children of my own and even though my mother still isn't able to show much affection she once wrote on a Christmas card that she thinks that I'm the best mother she has ever seen and that she wishes she was like that. My mother is not the encouraging type so for her to say that was huge.
I'm still trying to do my part to show her the love of Christ but it's so hard to do that with someone who is always negative. I love my mom and forgive her for not being there the way I needed her to be and for not protecting me all of those years. I am praying for her salvation and that she would come to know and love Jesus.; March 5, 2011 at 9:38 PM
Anonymous said...: Tough one. I couldn't vote. My mom loves God, but her relationship with God was very private. We went to church every Sunday and she prayed but it wasn't something we talked about a lot. We went through parochial schools and any time there was anything faith related, they were ultra supportive and helpful, but again, it was a private relationship between her and God, so not an outward model. That's why I couldn't vote either, because it wasn't for lack of believing, it was for lack of professing. I am completely different in that way-we are always bringing God into our daily lives. It's just natural for us. What's cool though is that now I see my mom interacting with my kids and now she brings 'how would Jesus think of that action' type of things to my kids' attention. :) So I guess in that way, I modeled to her. As for being a model of a wife and mother, it's still fuzzy because she worked full time. So we didn't get that much time with her during the day. I think this is why I struggle with home-keeping. I didn't have it modeled to me growing up. I just realized this in the last few days, actually. And as a wife, yes, she was and is a very good model. Sorry for the book! You ask about our mothers and you know it's not just a simple yes or no!! :); March 5, 2011 at 9:42 PM
Kela said...: I voted "yes". My mother loved us, taught us values, a good work ethic (even though it didn't totally rub off on me domestically), responsibility and grace. So, as a mom, she was good.
Wife? She and my daddy never faught...in front of us. Even though that was the case, I don't remember ever seeing the go on dates, sit at the same table to eat dinner or sit beside each other on the sofa. The occasional kiss was refreshing to see.

I knew there was more to marriage. I was right...they divorced after 25 yrs. of marriage.; March 5, 2011 at 9:43 PM
Theresa said...: Well I had trouble answering that question with a simple yes or no. My mom is not a Christian, but she is a wonderful woman who taught me a lot. She worked so hard to provide for my sisters and I after my parents divorced. She taught us to love others as it just comes naturally for her. She is always there when you need her and loves us so much. I talk to her every day on the phone and she is one of my bestest friends. She taught me how to keep a clean house very well and thankfully I picked up some of her cooking abilities :) I pray that God would save my mom so that we could have that sweet fellowhip that exists between believers. He had mercy on me when I was 23 and I know all things are possible with Him.; March 5, 2011 at 9:44 PM
Tia said...: This is an ongoing struggle in my life that I wish weren't true. My mom was not a Christian, and though she cooked and cleaned, she was not that woman after God's own heart that I seek to be today. It's an everyday struggle to live for God in my role as a housewife and mother. I don't want the same for my 3 girls! I want them to love who God made them to be, and love God!; March 5, 2011 at 9:48 PM
Anonymous said...: I voted no. My mom did not get saved until I was about 11. She was a single mom since I was two, and did work very hard to provide for me and my brother. Before she got saved she was gone a lot and most of her spare time was spent partying or going out with men. Did she love me and I knew it, without a doubt!! She may have failed in some areas, but her love was always there. I do struggle with out to be a wife, mother, and keeper of my home because it was not modeled to me. Today I can go to her for anything!!; March 5, 2011 at 9:50 PM
katiesniche said...: I was very fortunate to grow up in a Christian home. My parents came to the Lord when I was in 1st grade and then we followed :)

They were wonderful roll models.

She was a stay at home mom, which I think is the best kind of mom and the mom I am now :) She loved Dad the way a godly woman should.; March 5, 2011 at 9:52 PM
Courtney (Women Living Well) said...: Thank you everyone for cracking the door to your lives open for me so I can peak in and understand.

Thank you for your transparency. I am learning so much.

I love you guys!!!
Courtney; March 5, 2011 at 9:52 PM
Anonymous said...: It was difficult to answer this. I said no. Yet, my mom *believed* she did these things. She taught us to pray, but we did so formally and inconsistently. She spoke of the Lord on occasion and took us to church occasionally (without my dad most of the time). She enrolled us in catechism classes (I was raised Catholic, though I no longer practice Catholicism). And she gave me some good advice on mothering and being a wife, but didn't necessarily live out her own advice in her own life. So I found a bit of "yes" in there, but ultimately decided "no."; March 5, 2011 at 9:57 PM
Julie said...: My mom sent us to church with my grandmother and sent us to a christian school. She was (and still is!) an wonderful wife and mother... a wonderful example and teacher. However, I never saw that she had a personal relationship with Jesus.; March 5, 2011 at 9:58 PM
Courtney (Women Living Well) said...: So I see that my question was too broad - it should have been narrower like - did she role model a walk with God or did she role model how to be a good wife? Then you could answer a simple yes or no.

I may do a survey again in the future that is more narrow - thanks for your feedback!!!
Courtney; March 5, 2011 at 10:12 PM
Sharon Cohen said...: I grew up in a home where my father declared there was no God. My step-mother believed there was a God but that He had abandoned her. As children we were told that if we wanted to find religion we could do so when we were adults.; March 5, 2011 at 10:35 PM
marilyn said...: I voted yes... She didn't say much. She lived a lot by example.

I think the think that has captured my heart the most, was a deep abiding faith that I know was even passed from my grandmother as well. I call them "women of prayer." Coming from an African-American background, with deep religious roots, service to an almighty God was at the top of the list. Church life was important.

My mother was a pediatric nurse, and was known for her beautiful smile and kindness. And really, I do remember her with a smile always on her face--unless we were in trouble!!!

The other example that I remember, was her relationship with my dad. I saw their love for one another, and I never saw them argue. I know they probably took care of business behind closed doors, and they always came out with a united front and on the same page.

Domestically, good grief, I was career minded and my folks thought that was important, so, I didn't know how to be a keeper of the home. There was a lot of stuff I had to learn after the fact of marriage and was enlightened by the Holy Spirit. I thought a sewing machine was a foreign object. Praise the Lord for the ability to learn.

I refer to my mother in the past tense. She died from breast cancer about 15 years ago at the age of 52. My hope is to most importantly leave a legacy of faith with my two daughter--to love and serve.

I have enjoyed reading the other comments.; March 5, 2011 at 10:55 PM
Anonymous said...: I can't answer yes or no. My Mom is my BFF. We talk daily about everything.
Growing up, we were in and out of church. My parent's marriage ended when I was 11. I always blamed my Dad (for obvious reasons)but I can now see that they both were responsible. This made trusting and communicating in my marriage very difficult. I could write a novel on this subject, but I will just say that I love my Mama so much and I know she is just an imperfect sinner...just like me! And I pray that if my kids are asked the same question they can say "yes."
The End; March 5, 2011 at 10:56 PM
Anonymous said...: I said yes:) My family and I became Christians when I was 9 years old, so I remember the "Before Christ" life really well. And I think because of that, I can really appreciate the amazing change that only Christ can bring into your life, seeing it first hand in my mother (and father!). After we were saved, our whole life completely changed, and I saw my mom's heart turn towards her husband (they were on the brink of divorce) and to her family. I praise God everyday, for growing up in a family that knows and loves God, and was intent on modeling that for their children. Thanks so much for this wonderful blog....you bring such encouragement to so many!:) God Bless!; March 5, 2011 at 11:04 PM
Anonymous said...: This was tough for me to answer too. I ended up voting "no". I think my mom did the best she knew how. And I think if you asked her, she would tell she was a fabulous mom. She stayed at home a portion of my childhood, cooked dinners every night, baked cookies on the weekends, but we were never allowed to be involved {we might make a mess, gasp!} I remember her being pretty unavailable. She needed a lot of "me" time, and also kept a lot of secrets from my father, and that is something that, to this day, I struggle with as far as having respect for her.

Regarding church, we never had a church home. We'd try out a different church each Sunday for months on end, and then totally skip out on church altogether for a year or two. It was very inconsistent. And there wasn't a lot of talk about God and prayer when I was growing up. Thankfully I had friends who went to church, and I would tag along with them.

Maybe this is why it is so important to me that God is in our home each and every day. We pray together, have bible study together, and it is very cherished time, indeed.; March 5, 2011 at 11:05 PM
Patty said...: Hi Courtney. OMGoodness....love your blog!

Sadly, I was a "no" vote on the poll. My mother was a grown-up abused girl. She was her father's least favorite of his TWO daughters (no sons) and he treated her horribly. She wasn't a great mother to me, although she was a good mother to my younger brother and two younger sisters. I believe now, as an adult, that she projected all of what she felt as her own shortcomings and failures and sadness and anger on...me, as the oldest daughter.

But, even through her anger and sadness, she had her faith. She is from southern Ohio area so you may be a little familiar with the area. She believed in God wholeheartedly, but I truly think she felt that He didn't believe in her.

My mom taught me to respect my dad. She had dinner ready for him every night. We always knew that Dad dished up his food first because he'd worked hard all day. We'd tidy the house before he got home (maybe being screamed at a little), get ourselves cleaned up. She taught us well in that way. My dad is agnostic so she kept her faith to herself, and I wish she would have shared it with me more as a young girl.

Mom never taught her children to respect her. As an adult, I realize that she didn't feel she was worth respecting, and that breaks my heart.

I'm a mom now, with two girls and two boys that God has chosen me to raise up, and I am trying to do so the way He finds fit. I love my mom. I truly love her. I can't take away our past, but I can do better with my own children. And, I have her guidance now. Better late than never.; March 5, 2011 at 11:22 PM
Traylor Branch Farm said...: Yes, the question is too broad. I couldn't answer it. My mom was saved when she was young. She was dogged about my brother and I going to church, and we prayed at meals, but that was about as far as things got. She never taught me how to have my own relationship with the Lord, but I think it was because she didn't know how. And she never taught me anything at all about being a wife and mother. Some by example, yes, but that was it. I think she was so terrified of me repeating her mistakes that she did what she could to keep me from growing up! I thinks she did the best she could, and I love her for it.; March 5, 2011 at 11:32 PM
Michelle said...: This is a tuff one for me because I think my mother tried. My mother was catholic my father was protestant I went to a "Christian Preschool and then Catholic school there after and went to the ceremony's twice a year. She was a good mother but she was a working mom and so was my dad we did day care for 10 years and then were latch key after that. My mother could not cook but she ran cleaning the house like a drill sergeant we were not even really allowed to clean our own rooms mess was not something that was tolerated in our home. I honestly don't ever remember talking to my mother or my father about God. They were loving but distant..I left home at 15 and honestly spent 7 years as a street youth in various locations across Canada and did not come to my faith until I realised that God was trying to reach out to me during a 12 week span 15 youth groups came into contact with me at the end of that period is when I was saved. 11 years later honestly I have struggled back and forth in my faith always longing for fellowship with other women in Christian Churches but have either been severely judged when they find out about my past or never really fully fit in. It was not until I met my husband that through him I found two God fearing women who have showed me the light and the way through constant patience and guidance lol. My mother and Sister in law have been my models and my husband God Bless him has been ever patient while I have come to that path now a mom my self I hope to be the light for my little ones in their journey to growing up as faithful servants of the lord.; March 5, 2011 at 11:32 PM
Forever Changing said...: This is one reason we need good role models now! You have taught me so much on your blog and pointed me to some great resources also. I want my children to be able to say say! Thanks for your help Courtney; March 6, 2011 at 12:58 AM
Kim said...: My parents stuck me in Catholic school and assumed I'd be taught what I needed to know. My father drove me to 5pm mass on Saturday night, and picked me up when it was over.

I assume my mother believed in God and he clearly worked through her, but it was not discussed, even during my confirmation.; March 6, 2011 at 2:57 AM
Bek said...: My mum was only a new Christian when I was preschool age. Her and my step dad took us to church each week but we didn't do any type of study or discussion as a family. My greatest influence was my grandmother. She became a Christian only a few years before my mother but it changed her whole life and she walked what she talked. Without her I don't think I would have made the decision to follow Christ.; March 6, 2011 at 3:17 AM
Sarah said...: My mother was and still is the most godly woman I know! She has a walk with the Lord that I strive to attain one day. I was raised in a Pastor's home and she was such an example of a Titus 2 and Proverbs 31. There was never a time when I saw a spirit of bitterness in her about the misitry or her job of being a wife and mother (to 7 of us). I hope that one day my 5 can say the same thing about my relationship with the Lord and my influence on their lives.; March 6, 2011 at 7:18 AM
Kim B. said...: As someone who answered 'no', your blog fills the role of a living example of what it means to be a Christian wife, mother, and daughter of the King. (I know you're not perfect! :-) But it's good to have some sort of example to look towards for practical application.); March 6, 2011 at 7:32 AM
Katja said...: I just voted with yes! My mom was a role model even as I do a lot of things different then she was doing them. But there were very differnt circumstances as well. My mom was working as a teacher so she always had a job. My dad is self employed and worked from home, so he was always there for us. My husband and I have more like the regular allocation - I stay home with the children and he is out there working. My mom and me had to learn to respect one anothers way of living during the past few years. In regards of being a Christian, educating my children and everything else she sure was my role model and still is! And isn't it always necessary to do things similar but to learn how to do them your own way, too?; March 6, 2011 at 10:17 AM
Anonymous said...: I voted no as my mom was not a wife or housekeeper to follow but I felt so bad for saying no that I wanted to post that she was an amazing mother. I always knew that she loved us unconditionally and taught us many values and showed a real relationship with Jesus. But as for the other stuff, not a role model!; March 6, 2011 at 2:14 PM
Ashley Pichea said...: My mom was a hard worker and a great provider for our family. She wasn't always a SAHM (though she was able to work from home when we were younger), and she hated housework (much like myself), but she was a GREAT example of how to be a "Priscilla" and balance family and ministry. I am happy to say that I am very much like my mom!; March 6, 2011 at 2:55 PM
MaineMillers said...: I've always known I was blessed by God's grace when it came to family. It still amazes me though when I see how many have responded no in the survey. And it breaks my heart. God blessed me with an incredible Mom who lived her faith daily. She's my personal Proverbs 31 Woman. Her example marks my life day in and day out.

What an encouragement to the next generation! We have such an opportunity to leave a godly legacy. With God's leading and guiding the story that our children look back on can be far different from the ones many of us have been given. May we praise our God for godly mothers and praise Him for His ability to transform lives to speak to our children!; March 6, 2011 at 3:00 PM
Sharon Piatt said...: My mom was definitely a godly role model for me. As a pastor's wife, she opened our home sometimes even at last minute with love and warmth. My favorite memory is seeing her sitting in the mornings with her cup of hot tea and her bible. I am also fortunate to have a mother in law who is a godly influence and example to me as well. Their influence and example to life for Christ in the everyday has been so valuable to me and I am so thankful to be so blessed and to be able to pass this on to my daughter and daughters-in-law! Praise God!
One of the things I like to do is become that role model in the lives of young women who did not have it in their lives. Its such a blessing to watch them bloom in their relationship with God.; March 6, 2011 at 3:14 PM
Unknown said...: I grew up in a home with a bunch of passed down Catholic obligations. We never were a faith-filled family, and never had open discussions about God or His love for us. I guess I can say my mum was a role model in the sense of what not to be. She could be very explosive at times and we never knew what kind of mood she was in. I mention that because after reading my Bible I realize now I set the tone for my house. I feel blessed that my daughters will be able to say I was a good role model for them. At least I hope they will. :); March 6, 2011 at 3:19 PM
Aria said...: Definitely NOT! But, praise be to GOD, hopefully my children will not say the same about me!
Blessings,
Aria:)
growing3godlygirlz.blogspot.com; March 6, 2011 at 3:22 PM
Ohio_Momto3boys said...: My mom passed away 10 years ago at the age of 80. She died at her exercise class; not a bad way to go, all in all.
Was she a role model? Oh heavens no. She had me at nearly 46 years of age when my only siblings were 14 and 17. I'm not sure she really liked any of us from the get go. She complained that my brother's Yale education prevented her from getting an new dining room set. She complained to me that when I was young, she missed out on going to her music club meetings and going to Vegas with her friends because she was stuck with me. If any of us ever did anything remotely wrong, she was mortified that we had brought shame on the family.
Was she mean to us? No, not really. Did she like having us around? Not particularly.; March 6, 2011 at 3:27 PM
Crystal said...: This is a tough question for me because my mom is a Christian... and has been for close to 20 years now. But growing up (I was around 9-10 when my mom became a Christian), we knew we were suppose to read our Bibles, but only because it was what we were taught in church. I remember seeing my mom's Bible laying around but I don't ever remember actually seeing her read it outside of church (we were there every time the doors were opened). We prayed at all meals but outside of that there was nothing else mentioned about Christ. We rarely ever talked about any type of biblical topics in my home growing up. That was then..
Now, my mom and I often talk about biblical things. I'm still not sure about her Bible reading or her personal relationship with Christ, but we do talk much more openly about things.; March 6, 2011 at 3:38 PM
Malinda B said...: Jackie Kennedy was my mom....
or so I thought.
Growing up I thought my mother was maybe a person of royalty who was secretly trying to live a normal life. She was and is gentle and regal.
Absolutely beautiful, but never thought of herself but was a servant to her family for her King.
Now approaching her sixties, she remains timeless in beauty, grace and wisdom. I am in awe and immense gratitude that God chose her to be my mom.
Her imprint on my life as my number one mentor (on this side of heaven) is profoundly deep.
I am thankful that her ways have had such influence on my life.; March 6, 2011 at 4:01 PM
Sharon @ Hiking Toward Home said...: Sadly no she isn't. I struggle as as homemaker because she also never taught me how to be one.; March 6, 2011 at 4:03 PM
Anonymous said...: I can't vote because I feel torn. My mom was a great example in some ways, but terrible in others. Growing up she was and still is a work-aholic. She rarely puts the Lord or her family first and this is one of the things I struggle with the most in being with my mom. There are lots of other things like keeping a tidy house, music, and pride in appearance that she taught me. However, not having time for your hubbie or kids makes it hard to remember that stuff.; March 6, 2011 at 5:11 PM
Journal for My Daughters said...: I can relate to anonymous. I'm stunned at the response you've had to this survey. Regardless of the results, it's shown that this is a subject that really hits a nerve. Why is it that we have convinced ourselves that raising kids is something that can be done 'on the side' whilst we pursue our careers/aspirations? I've heard two great comments, no three, about careers and children. 1. Work for what you need, not your wants. 2. Anyone can look after your child but only you can be their mother. 3. Job opportunities may come back later on but the childhood of your children never will.
Thanks Courtney for encouraging women in their roles as wives and mothers. May God bless you and yours.; March 6, 2011 at 5:25 PM
Anonymous said...: I can't really answer yes or no either. Growing up, we went to church and prayed before meals, but we didn't really talk about God at all. My mom worked full-time and so other than getting my sister and I involved in helping out with chores around the house, we didn't really learn "home-making" or how to be a godly wife. My mom did her best and after my dad died, I've seen her spiritual walk really grow. However, during my growing up years, it was primarily left to the church to teach me about God.; March 6, 2011 at 6:06 PM
cindy said...: For me my husband and I both came from families who do not believe in God as their Lord and Savior and live their lives accordingly. We are the ONLY Christians in our family and we are still learning to be a godly husband and wife and parents all by trial and error and Praise God for HIS faithful grace and amazing LOVE and forgiveness. I am also very grateful to a handful of women in the Body of Christ whom have taken the Titus 2 mission to heart and do their very best to train the younger women and be those Godly examples alot of us were NOT blessed to grow up with. I love learning from other Godly women and pray they are strengthened as they continue to live out their lives for us to learn from. God Bless you all thanks for sharing Courtney
In HIS Grace,
Cindy; March 6, 2011 at 8:05 PM
JennaK said...: My mom was an amazing role model of this--she still is! Her constant calm, amazing faith, and her sense of dignity and poise through times of trial are all engraven in my mind as how I hope to be and hope that I am to my children. While I remember her being a wonderful housekeeper and cook, I also remember seeing her on her knees pouring her heart out to God, and I remember her studying her scriptures every day at the kitchen table. Whenever I call her for advice, the first question she always asks is "Have you prayed about it?" and reminds me that God knows my children, my spouse, etc. better than anybody and He would be the best source of knowledge. I love my mother's example and hope that I can be that kind of person for my own children, especially for my daughter.; March 6, 2011 at 8:36 PM
blessed_theresa said...: This was tough but, I voted no. I voted this way as growing u my Mom did not attend church with us. My Dad walked out on us before I turned 3. So, while my Mom is a wonderful godly woman now, I did not grow up with that. Also, I never really got to see her in the roll of wife. I will however, say that we lived with my Godly grandmother and were raised in a christian home. My grandmother was a widow though so I never really saw her in the role of wife either.; March 6, 2011 at 8:56 PM
Anonymous said...: I've seen others say this in their posts and I'd say my mom tried to model a godly life also. However, her life was based on what was good, not what was godly. We were at church every time the church doors were opened but it was rare (other than that) that the Bible was opened in our house or that scripture was brought up as our standard for living. I just heard what was "right" or "wrong" but not where that standard came from. I don't want my children to think they're learning to live by my standards, but God's standards. I want them to know scripture - for it to be burned into their minds. I memorized scripture some growing up in church and my parents basically left it up to the church to teach me about God. I don't want that to be the case for my children. I want them to know, without a doubt, that I love the Lord so very much and am convicted of talking to them about Him and His standards all the time. Otherwise, I feel I haven't done what the Lord has called me to do as a mother. By God's grace, may I persevere in this awesome endeavor!; March 6, 2011 at 9:18 PM
Jennifer G. said...: I had to say no as well. My stay-at-home step-mother was an abusive alcoholic who was ashamed of staying at home, and my mom remarried a man who told her point blank that he wanted nothing to do with me. Neither of them were Christians and were dealing with a lot of hurt from their mothers. The pain just rolls along without a Saviour to stop it.

What I'm finding hardest now is the lack of Godly encouraging Titus 2 women IN the church. I'm a pastor's wife and continually take flack for staying home with my children and for having more than the alloted 2.5 of them.

What I'm seeing in these comments is a new generation growing in Christ, and I hope we can all remember how important we will be to the next generation who are even LESS likely to have been raised in the faith. I hope we can all reach out and embrace and encourage them as we wish our mothers had encouraged us.; March 6, 2011 at 9:49 PM
Anonymous said...: A no for me... My younger sister was born when I was 9 and from then on I spent my days babysitting and cleaning. I had no idea how to care for an infant, but I had no choice. This was my life until I graduated high school. My mother worked a lot. We did go to church occasionally, but it was never mentioned in our home. I am very new to Christianity as of this year and I cannot even tell you how much it has helped me. I am married and have a 6 year old son and I am happy to always be here for my husband and son at all times.

P.S... your blog has been a blessing to me.; March 6, 2011 at 9:53 PM
Anonymous said...: My mother was an alcoholic. My dad died when I was 12 and my brother 11. She found a boyfriend in a bar and moved him in 9 months after my dad died. Everything was all about her happiness and how she "deserved to have a life" after my dad died of cancer. She didnt do anything she didnt want to do, unless there was something in it that was interesting to her. She had a stroke when my daughter was a year old (9 years ago) and rather than having a mom to help me learn to be a mother, I have been responsible for caring for her while balancing being a wife, mother and employee myself. She is angry and cries constantly and is always sick. I love my mother (she's the only one I've got) but honestly, I often feel sad and a little jealous of all of those who had great Christian mothers who even help with their children!!! My mom doesnt really care if she sees her grandchildren or not!! Life is a lot harder when you lack the support of a loving mother!!!; March 6, 2011 at 11:12 PM
Amanda said...: Unfortunately I don't believe my parents have any belief in Christ, certainly not enough to cause them to act as disciples in the church. They had a vague sense of Catholic culture but no idea what the church believed. At least they made sure we got the sacraments even though they rarely brought us to church. I was fortunate to be influenced by a wonderful youth group (Life Teen) at my church in high school and since then have been working slowly but steadily towards a fuller relationship with Christ and attend both Mass at the Catholic church and the service at my pastor husband's protestant church. It's a constant struggle to figure out how to pass my faith on to my own children when nothing was ever passed on to me. I want them to understand the full beauty of what Christ has done for us and to become disciples in His holy church.; March 6, 2011 at 11:20 PM
Lacey said...: I'm sad to say that my mother didn't walk with the Lord and I'm honestly not sure if she ever has :( However, she did teach me many other good things.; March 6, 2011 at 11:49 PM
Anonymous said...: I had to answer yes even though we did not attend church very often and I do not know if my parents were Christian . My mom stayed home and kept a clean neat organized warm and friendly home yes amazingly these things can go together !!!She was a very good wife in a very biblical way ,I am so lucky that I had such a stable homelife . I am so happy that my husband and I have been able to provide this same kind of home for our girls Plus a Christian upbringing .I do wish my mom had been a teacher of how to run a home she believed everyone learned by osmosis and she was wrong on that count!We have opened our home to many lost and lonely children through the years and you can just tell how they feel safe and cared for in this environment.I have read so many of the comments and see so many women haven't been raised this way and yet they have a strong desire to live their lives in a much better way it just makes me so happy to see that.I have to agree that the churches I have been in continue to bang the gong of women off to work kids in daycare and divorce if you don't feel fulfilled. And it is mostly the older women doing the banging I tried to say something once at a coffee hour just in conversation and the older women were horrified and now seem to make a concerted effort to befriend my girls and enlighten them....; March 7, 2011 at 4:21 AM
Unknown said...: I am so blessed to have a mom that is an amazing example of a godly wife and mother. It was my mom's mission and number one ministry to serve her family, to teach my siblings and I the Bible and to show us how to live it out in our lives. All through growing up and even now, my mom is my prayer warrior. Just yesterday morning I called my mom to wish her a happy birthday and the first words out of her mouth were, "I was just praying for you!" My mom also continually showed us how to be a keeper of the home, teaching my sisters and I how to bake and cook, clean, and organize; and she demonstrated how to wisely handle finances as a wife. I am so thankful and blessed to have a wise and godly mother that I can look to as a role model!; March 7, 2011 at 8:39 AM
Tiffany said...: I did not and still don't. However, I see very clearly, through my mother's example, What NOT to do! So, God really does use ALL things for good. I also had several other women throughout my life who were very good role models of how to be GOOD mothers, wives, Christians. I am thankful for those who were there when I was a child and for those who God has placed in my life now , as an adult. I am determined for my children to be able to answer YES to that question! :); March 7, 2011 at 9:59 AM
Holly @SurvivingOnAShoestring said...: I answered no. I never had any doubt that my parents loved me and my dad was an excellent dad for a non-believer. I'm glad I somehow found a good crowd and got involved in church or I could've easily ended up like my brothers who both have illegitimate children. As far as their marriage, they work well together, albeit not in a biblical way. My mother is very women's rights and stubborn and sometimes balks at how I am happy just to do things for my husband (and he has such a servants heart himself). As I was preparing my vows my mother said, "you aren't going to say the 'obey' part, are you?"

I know that she doesn't understand, and so we try to model our marriage biblically as a testimony to them especially and just love them, trying to look at them as Jesus does.

Just yesterday I looked at my husband in church as an elder came to the front and told him how thankful I am that our children will have a set of christian parents AND a set of christian grandparents (as his family loves Jesus and have changed their whole life to serve Him)

Thanks for the poll Courtney, it's encouraging to see people on both sides to relate to and look up to!; March 7, 2011 at 10:02 AM
Tara said...: This truly hurt my heart to answer, but I answered no. My mom is my best friend and I love her so much. She was/is a good mother even in, at times, difficult circumstances. We were in and out of church. Enough to have a seed planted, but not nurture it and have it grow as it should. I struggle with my lack of maturity in this area and at times feel angry with my mother. I feel it was her responsibility to grow us in that area as well as all the others. I find it's hard for me to be the example to my girls that I want to be because of a lack of good biblical knowledge/background. Courtney, this is an area that your truly encourage me in. Your love of the Lord is "infectious". You truly do make me want to know and learn more.; March 7, 2011 at 10:45 AM
Anonymous said...: I had to answer no to this even though I grew up in a church-going household, my parents are still married to each other, and my Mom stayed home with us kids. I know that her answer would be a resounding YES. Unfortunately, she made being a homemaker seem like the biggest drudgery in the world. She kept our house IMMACULATE but complained day in and day out about the work, the mess, and my Dad. He couldn't do anything right and she was constantly belittling him and making him look like an idiot in our eyes. She definitely played the part of a martyr. She sat in church every Sunday and played the part but didn't ever pass down a love for God... it was a duty and obligation.
Rebecca in Canada; March 7, 2011 at 12:19 PM
Sophia Newton said...: Courtney,
I said yes, although my answer would have probably been more like 80% yes, 20% no. My mother has been a Believer since her childhood so I always knew that she loves the Lord and she told us about Jesus; she and my dad raised us to fear and love God. However, while we always attended church and prayed together at meal times, I can think of only a handful of times that I actually SAW my mom reading her Bible. She was not the BEST example of a wife who honors and respects her husband (although I know that she dearly loves my father), and I wouldn't say that she modeled how to confront sin. However, she DID model generosity and hospitality, loyalty, faithfulness and love. And she is a HARD worker, and a joy to talk to. So, all-in-all, I'd say yes :); March 7, 2011 at 1:44 PM
Megan said...: Yes, yes, and YES!!! My mother is my role model and hero for this very reason. My earliest memories of my mom are of her sitting in the living room with her Bible every morning. She would just sit there quielty, sometimes praying under her breath. It was her way of getting ready for the day - spending time with the lover of her soul.
She didn't lose hope when my father made poor financial decisions or moved our family around to live in various places in MX (while we did missions work)for lack of clear direction. She quietly trusted the Lord with her concerns and supported my dad the best that she could.
My mother is a prayer warrior and gives and gives to those around her. I hope that one day my children can say the same of me!; March 8, 2011 at 8:13 AM
Anonymous said...: How funny you are doing this survey, because I wanted to past a thank you for your blog. I have a lot of strong Christian women in my life and my awesome mother-in-law is one,b ut I watned to thank you for being a great example of a Christian wife and Mom to me on a day-to-day basis!

My Mom wasn't a Christian role model , but that's okay. She still rocks and I love her dearly. And, God has taught me how to be both through His word and other great people He has put into my life.; March 8, 2011 at 11:07 AM
Carly said...: I had to think about this for a few days and then come back, and I had to swallow hard and say no. I love my mom, but seeing where I am at now as a young wife and where I want to be in the future, it doesn't look very much like what my mom modeled to me. She has some sort of relationship with God, but I am confused what it consists of. My parents divorced recently after 23 years of marriage and my mom initiated it.

We grew up going to church but didn't do much family faith-building. My mom did talk about trying to witness to people at work sometimes, or she would encourage me to pray about things. She worked full-time and talked about chores as the annoying things you have to get done on the weekend. We didn't pray as a family except for the occasional meal and we didn't do Bible study together. This has been an unfolding revelation over the past few years for me - the shattering of what I thought our family was. The deeper I grow in my love for Christ the more I realize how shallow my parents' faiths are. I say that respectfully, and I am sad for them. They were wonderful parents but I wish they fully realized how much God loves them and how His way is best.; March 8, 2011 at 10:16 PM
Anonymous said...: Hi! Like your poll and the comments that it has generated. I'm mixed on this, so I felt I couldn't answer it honestly. Part of it was true for me, and part wasn't. I think my mom tried her best to walk with the Lord, and she exhibited that. I, being the older more compliant daughter, ended up following in my parents' footsteps in terms of remaining a part of the same faith that I knew as a small girl. But it really wasn't until post-college that Christ became real to me. Before, it seemed like it was about not breaking rules and doing right, even though I didn't always agree with my mom's view on spiritual matters. It was often her way or the highway. As for her being a good role model, I love my mom dearly, I really do. But I'm afraid that some of her own weaknesses I've inherited as a mother. And I find myself often going down a path that I vowed I'd never go, in terms of losing my temper with my children and struggling to be a better parent. Anyway, all this to say that if I were to speak truthfully from the heart, while I love my mom very much, I'm not sure I can honestly say she was the best role model of a good mother. That said, I do believe she walks with the Lord. It's just that her views of how the faith is lived out sometimes really get in the way of her faith in Christ...if that makes sense.; March 8, 2011 at 11:34 PM
Steph. :) said...: Both of my parents were wonderful role models. My mom was more religious than spiritual, but I still managed to have a personal relationship with our Savior from a young age. She taught me how to bake, do laundry, garden a little, balance a checkbook and to sew (I was a flop), paint and craft, but she did not teach me how to cook and I went into marriage very unsure of myself in that area. I would not be the Christian I am today, though, without her influence.; March 9, 2011 at 12:08 PM
Anonymous said...: My mother was atheist and abusive. That's why blogs like these are so helpful to me.; March 9, 2011 at 4:04 PM
Titus 2 Thandi said...: My mom was definitely not a role model. And sadly, the mistakes she made are very clear in my sister :-( Once she found me reading my Bible (i was 16) and she said "What,you think you're holy now?" And she actively encouraged me to attend rave parties! My mom is a Christian when it suits her, she expected us to lie for her "Tell her I'm not here" when someone called etc. She's not a good role model for my children either.; March 10, 2011 at 6:31 AM
Anonymous said...: I'm not sure how to answer the survey, since there are really 2 separate questions there. I love my mom dearly, and until my dad died a few years ago, she was my best friend. She was a great mom, and I feel like she was a wonderful mom role model. And I can honestly say she loved my dad so very much, but she wasn't a great wife role model. She complained a lot about my dad while I was growing up and in turn, I've had to learn how not to complain about my husband. It is a very hard thing to unlearn, and I'm not very good at it, yet. But I'm trying.; March 10, 2011 at 4:31 PM
Robin Sampson said...: I could not find the poll. I have to say absolutely not. My mother was/is mentally ill and was institutionalized most of my growing up years. When she was home she was physically abusive. I was badly neglected and maybe why I am over protective.

It was the grace of God I wasn't around her more than I was.

I honor her and call her every day. I send her books once a month. She is much better but can not be around any children more than a few hours. I've never shared this publicly. Thanks.; March 27, 2011 at 9:33 AM
Anonymous said...: Thank you for allowing Anonymous comments.

Many comments said they had bad role models but their children will be able to say they have good role models. DON'T BE SO SURE!

If you asked me when my children were young or even teens I would have thought they would grow up to be EXTREMELY grateful.

I homeschooled my children a SAHM devoted to God, Bible, and family. -- a good mother but not perfect. I have sacrificed my life for my children. They are grown now and they don't think I did enough.

We live in a society where children learn to blame others. You could be a perfect mother and a child grow up to resent you didn't have enough money for braces, or piano lessons, or something you never though of.

My children in their 20s do NOT appreciate what I did for them So I obviously failed in some areas. My older children now appreciate me but did not in their 20s.

Our reward is from God. He knows all.; March 27, 2011 at 9:50 AM
Lynn said...: Well, it looks like the poll is over, but I would like to say, "yes". My mom was not perfect by no means. She still has her flaws and we don't always see eye to eye. She drove me nuts at times when I was growing up. lol!!! I couldn't wait to get out of the house. With that said, she really was a wonderful mother. She is a strong Christian and was the one that led me to Christ. She stayed home to raise my brother and I. She always took us to church. When I wanted to try out for "Peewee" cheerleading, she said "no" because the games would make me miss church on Sundays. I am now thankful that she showed me that God should come before being a cheerleader or sports or whatever, even though I hated the decision at the time. Now, she is a wonderful Grandmother to my children. If something was to happen to my husband and me, we want my parents to be the ones to raise our kids. My mom devoted a lot of time to hospitality in the church, plus she was an excellent cook, seamstress, and housekeeper (I pale beside her). She truly set an example on being a good wife and mother. One of my biggest complaints is she spoils my dad a bit too much. I worry that he may not be able to take care of himself if something happened to her, but he has come a long way (at least he can pick out his own clothes now, sorta. *smile*}; March 29, 2011 at 1:46 AM

Women Living Well Blog

: Name: Courtney (Women Living Well); Location: Ohio, United States

I am a stay-at-home home schooling mom of 2, a son (age 8) and a daughter (6). I have been married to Keith, my high school sweet heart, for 13 years. My passion to know God and share him with others led me to the Moody Bible Institute where I graduated with a degree in Evangelism and Discipleship. Last year, I appeared on the Rachael Ray Show as a 1950's Housewife. To learn more about me visit my "About Me" page.

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Saturday, March 5, 2011

5 Second Survey: Is Your Mom Your Role Model?

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